Front Matter | |
ACT 1 | |
ACT 2 | |
ACT 3 | |
ACT 4 | |
ACT 5 |
It is hard to imagine a world without Shakespeare. Since their composition four hundred years ago, Shakespeare’s plays and poems have traveled the globe, inviting those who see and read his works to make them their own.
Readers of the New Folger Editions are part of this ongoing process of “taking up Shakespeare,” finding our own thoughts and feelings in language that strikes us as old or unusual and, for that very reason, new. We still struggle to keep up with a writer who could think a mile a minute, whose words paint pictures that shift like clouds. These expertly edited texts are presented to the public as a resource for study, artistic adaptation, and enjoyment. By making the classic texts of the New Folger Editions available in electronic form as The Folger Shakespeare (formerly Folger Digital Texts), we place a trusted resource in the hands of anyone who wants them.
The New Folger Editions of Shakespeare’s plays, which are the basis for the texts realized here in digital form, are special because of their origin. The Folger Shakespeare Library in Washington, DC, is the single greatest documentary source of Shakespeare’s works. An unparalleled collection of early modern books, manuscripts, and artwork connected to Shakespeare, the Folger’s holdings have been consulted extensively in the preparation of these texts. The Editions also reflect the expertise gained through the regular performance of Shakespeare’s works in the Folger’s Elizabethan Theatre.
I want to express my deep thanks to editors Barbara Mowat and Paul Werstine for creating these indispensable editions of Shakespeare’s works, which incorporate the best of textual scholarship with a richness of commentary that is both inspired and engaging. Readers who want to know more about Shakespeare and his plays can follow the paths these distinguished scholars have tread by visiting the Folger either in-person or online, where a range of physical and digital resources exists to supplement the material in these texts. I commend to you these words, and hope that they inspire.
Michael Witmore
Director, Folger Shakespeare Library
By Barbara Mowat and Paul Werstine
Until now, with the release of The Folger Shakespeare (formerly Folger Digital Texts), readers in search of a free online text of Shakespeare’s plays had to be content primarily with using the Moby™ Text, which reproduces a late-nineteenth century version of the plays. What is the difference? Many ordinary readers assume that there is a single text for the plays: what Shakespeare wrote. But Shakespeare’s plays were not published the way modern novels or plays are published today: as a single, authoritative text. In some cases, the plays have come down to us in multiple published versions, represented by various Quartos (Qq) and by the great collection put together by his colleagues in 1623, called the First Folio (F). There are, for example, three very different versions of Hamlet, two of King Lear, Henry V, Romeo and Juliet, and others. Editors choose which version to use as their base text, and then amend that text with words, lines or speech prefixes from the other versions that, in their judgment, make for a better or more accurate text.
Other editorial decisions involve choices about whether an unfamiliar word could be understood in light of other writings of the period or whether it should be changed; decisions about words that made it into Shakespeare’s text by accident through four hundred years of printings and misprinting; and even decisions based on cultural preference and taste. When the Moby™ Text was created, for example, it was deemed “improper” and “indecent” for Miranda to chastise Caliban for having attempted to rape her. (See The Tempest, 1.2: “Abhorred slave,/Which any print of goodness wilt not take,/Being capable of all ill! I pitied thee…”). All Shakespeare editors at the time took the speech away from her and gave it to her father, Prospero.
The editors of the Moby™ Shakespeare produced their text long before scholars fully understood the proper grounds on which to make the thousands of decisions that Shakespeare editors face. The Folger Library Shakespeare Editions, on which the Folger Shakespeare texts depend, make this editorial process as nearly transparent as is possible, in contrast to older texts, like the Moby™, which hide editorial interventions. The reader of the Folger Shakespeare knows where the text has been altered because editorial interventions are signaled by square brackets (for example, from Othello: “If she in chains of magic were not bound,
”), half-square brackets (for example, from Henry V: “With
blood
and sword and fire to win your right,”), or angle brackets (for example, from Hamlet: “O farewell, honest
soldier.
Who hath relieved/you?”). At any point in the text, you can hover your cursor over a bracket for more information.
Because the Folger Shakespeare texts are edited in accord with twenty-first century knowledge about Shakespeare’s texts, the Folger here provides them to readers, scholars, teachers, actors, directors, and students, free of charge, confident of their quality as texts of the plays and pleased to be able to make this contribution to the study and enjoyment of Shakespeare.
In The Merry Wives of Windsor, fat, disreputable Sir John Falstaff pursues two housewives, Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, who outwit and humiliate him instead. Meanwhile, three suitors seek the hand of Anne Page, Mistress Page’s daughter.
Falstaff hopes to seduce the wives so he can gain access to their husbands’ wealth. Ford learns of Falstaff’s approaches and is consumed by jealousy. In disguise, he befriends Falstaff to learn about Mistress Ford’s behavior. The wives, however, trick Falstaff and Ford. As Falstaff visits Mistress Ford, Mistress Page announces that Ford is coming. Falstaff hides in a basket of dirty laundry and is thrown in the river.
Another visit ends similarly: Falstaff disguises himself as “the fat woman of Brentford,” whom Ford hates. Ford beats “her” in anger. Finally, Falstaff is lured to a comical nighttime rendezvous where all of Windsor comes together, Falstaff is publicly humiliated, and Ford admits his folly. Two of Anne Page’s suitors elope with boys in disguise while Anne marries her chosen suitor, Fenton.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0001Sir Hugh, persuade me not. I will make a
FTLNLINEFTLN 0002 Star-Chamber matter of it. If he were twenty Sir
FTLNLINEFTLN 0003 John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0004 Esquire.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 00055In the county of Gloucester, Justice of Peace
FTLNLINEFTLN 0006 and Coram.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0007Ay, Cousin Slender, and Custalorum.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0008Ay, and Ratolorum too; and a gentleman born,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0009 Master Parson, who writes himself “Armigero”
FTLNLINEFTLN 001010 in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation—
FTLNLINEFTLN 0011 “Armigero!”
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0012Ay, that I do, and have done any time these
FTLNLINEFTLN 0013 three hundred years.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0014All his successors gone before him hath
FTLNLINEFTLN 001515 done ’t, and all his ancestors that come after him
FTLNLINEFTLN 0016 may. They may give the dozen white luces in their
FTLNLINEFTLN 0017 coat.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0018It is an old coat.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0019The dozen white louses do become an old
FTLNLINEFTLN 002020 coat well. It agrees well, passant. It is a familiar
FTLNLINEFTLN 0021 beast to man and signifies love.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0022The luce is the fresh fish. The salt fish is an
FTLNLINEFTLN 0023 old coat.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0024I may quarter, coz.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0026It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0027Not a whit.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0028Yes, py ’r Lady. If he has a quarter of your
FTLNLINEFTLN 0029 coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my
FTLNLINEFTLN 003030 simple conjectures. But that is all one. If Sir John
FTLNLINEFTLN 0031 Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0032 I am of the Church, and will be glad to do my
FTLNLINEFTLN 0033 benevolence to make atonements and compromises
FTLNLINEFTLN 0034 between you.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 003535The Council shall hear it; it is a riot.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0036It is not meet the Council hear a riot. There
FTLNLINEFTLN 0037 is no fear of Got in a riot. The Council, look you,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0038 shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear
FTLNLINEFTLN 0039 a riot. Take your visaments in that.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 004040Ha! O’ my life, if I were young again, the
FTLNLINEFTLN 0041 sword should end it.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0042It is petter that friends is the sword, and end
FTLNLINEFTLN 0043 it. And there is also another device in my prain,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0044 which peradventure prings goot discretions with
FTLNLINEFTLN 004545 it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 0046 Thomas Page, which is pretty virginity.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0047Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair
FTLNLINEFTLN 0048 and speaks small like a woman?
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0049It is that fery person for all the ’orld, as just
FTLNLINEFTLN 005050 as you will desire. And seven hundred pounds of
FTLNLINEFTLN 0051 moneys, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire upon
FTLNLINEFTLN 0052 his death’s-bed (Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!)
FTLNLINEFTLN 0053 give, when she is able to overtake seventeen
FTLNLINEFTLN 0054 years old. It were a goot motion if we leave our
FTLNLINEFTLN 005555 pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between
FTLNLINEFTLN 0056 Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0057Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred
FTLNLINEFTLN 0058 pound?
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0059Ay, and her father is make her a petter
FTLNLINEFTLN 006060 penny.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0062 good gifts.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0063Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is
FTLNLINEFTLN 0064 goot gifts.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 006565Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff
FTLNLINEFTLN 0066 there?
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0067Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0068 do despise one that is false, or as I despise one that
FTLNLINEFTLN 0069 is not true. The knight Sir John is there, and I beseech
FTLNLINEFTLN 007070 you be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat
FTLNLINEFTLN 0071 the door for Master Page.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 0072 Got pless your house here.
PAGESD,
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0074Here is Got’s plessing, and your friend, and
FTLNLINEFTLN 007575 Justice Shallow, and here young Master Slender,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0076 that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if
FTLNLINEFTLN 0077 matters grow to your likings.
SDEnter Master Page.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0078I am glad to see your Worships well. I thank you
FTLNLINEFTLN 0079 for my venison, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 008080Master Page, I am glad to see you. Much
FTLNLINEFTLN 0081 good do it your good heart! I wished your venison
FTLNLINEFTLN 0082 better; it was ill killed. How doth good Mistress
FTLNLINEFTLN 0083 Page? And I thank you always with my heart, la,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0084 with my heart.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 008585Sir, I thank you.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0086Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0087I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0088How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0089 heard say he was outrun on Cotsall.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 009090It could not be judged, sir.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0091You’ll not confess, you’ll not confess.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0092That he will not. ’Tis your fault, ’tis your
FTLNLINEFTLN 0093 fault. ’Tis a good dog.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0094A cur, sir.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0096 be more said? He is good and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff
FTLNLINEFTLN 0097 here?
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0098Sir, he is within, and I would I could do a good
FTLNLINEFTLN 0099 office between you.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0100100It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0101He hath wronged me, Master Page.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0102Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0103If it be confessed, it is not redressed. Is not
FTLNLINEFTLN 0104 that so, Master Page? He hath wronged me, indeed
FTLNLINEFTLN 0105105 he hath; at a word, he hath. Believe me. Robert
FTLNLINEFTLN 0106 Shallow, Esquire, saith he is wronged.
SDEnter
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0107Here comes Sir John.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0108Now, Master Shallow, you’ll complain of me
FTLNLINEFTLN 0109 to the King?
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0110110Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my
FTLNLINEFTLN 0111 deer, and broke open my lodge.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0112But not kissed your keeper’s daughter.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0113Tut, a pin. This shall be answered.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0114I will answer it straight: I have done all this.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0115115 That is now answered.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0116The Council shall know this.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0117’Twere better for you if it were known in
FTLNLINEFTLN 0118 counsel. You’ll be laughed at.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0119Pauca verba, Sir John, good worts.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0120120Good worts? Good cabbage!—Slender, I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0121 broke your head. What matter have you against
FTLNLINEFTLN 0122 me?
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0123Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against
FTLNLINEFTLN 0124 you and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0125125 Nym, and Pistol.
BARDOLPH FTLNLINEFTLN 0126You Banbury cheese!
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0127Ay, it is no matter.
PISTOL FTLNLINEFTLN 0128How now, Mephostophilus?
NYM FTLNLINEFTLN 0130130Slice, I say! Pauca, pauca. Slice, that’s my humor.
SLENDERSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0132 Can you tell, cousin?
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0133Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand;
FTLNLINEFTLN 0134 there is three umpires in this matter, as I understand:
FTLNLINEFTLN 0135135 that is, Master Page (fidelicet Master Page);
FTLNLINEFTLN 0136 and there is myself (fidelicet myself); and the three
FTLNLINEFTLN 0137 party is, lastly and finally, mine Host of the Garter.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0138We three to hear it and end it between them.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0139Fery goot. I will make a prief of it in my
FTLNLINEFTLN 0140140 notebook, and we will afterwards ’ork upon the
FTLNLINEFTLN 0141 cause with as great discreetly as we can.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0142Pistol.
PISTOL FTLNLINEFTLN 0143He hears with ears.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0144The tevil and his tam! What phrase is this,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0145145 “He hears with ear”? Why, it is affectations.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0146Pistol, did you pick Master Slender’s purse?
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0147Ay, by these gloves, did he—or I would I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0148 might never come in mine own great chamber
FTLNLINEFTLN 0149 again else—of seven groats in mill-sixpences,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0150150 and two Edward shovel-boards that cost me two
FTLNLINEFTLN 0151 shilling and twopence apiece of Yed Miller, by
FTLNLINEFTLN 0152 these gloves.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0153Is this true, Pistol?
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0154No, it is false, if it is a pickpurse.
PISTOL FTLNLINEFTLN 0155155Ha, thou mountain foreigner!—Sir John and
FTLNLINEFTLN 0156 master mine, I combat challenge of this latten
FTLNLINEFTLN 0157 bilbo.—Word of denial in thy labras here! Word of
FTLNLINEFTLN 0158 denial! Froth and scum, thou liest.
SLENDERSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0160160 he.
NYM FTLNLINEFTLN 0161Be avised, sir, and pass good humors. I will say
FTLNLINEFTLN 0162 “marry trap with you” if you run the nuthook’s
FTLNLINEFTLN 0163 humor on me. That is the very note of it.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0165165 For, though I cannot remember what I did when
FTLNLINEFTLN 0166 you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an
FTLNLINEFTLN 0167 ass.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0168What say you, Scarlet and John?
BARDOLPH FTLNLINEFTLN 0169Why, sir, for my part, I say the gentleman
FTLNLINEFTLN 0170170 had drunk himself out of his five sentences.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0171It is “his five senses.” Fie, what the ignorance
FTLNLINEFTLN 0172 is!
BARDOLPHSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0174 they say, cashiered. And so conclusions passed the
FTLNLINEFTLN 0175175 careers.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0176Ay, you spake in Latin then too. But ’tis no
FTLNLINEFTLN 0177 matter. I’ll ne’er be drunk whilst I live again but in
FTLNLINEFTLN 0178 honest, civil, godly company, for this trick. If I be
FTLNLINEFTLN 0179 drunk, I’ll be drunk with those that have the fear of
FTLNLINEFTLN 0180180 God, and not with drunken knaves.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0181So Got ’udge me, that is a virtuous mind.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0182You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0183 You hear it.
SDEnter Anne Page
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0184Nay, daughter, carry the wine in. We’ll drink
FTLNLINEFTLN 0185185 within.SD
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0186O heaven, this is Mistress Anne Page.
SDEnter Mistress Ford
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0187How now, Mistress Ford?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0188Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well
FTLNLINEFTLN 0189 met. By your leave, good mistress.SD
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0190190Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome.—Come, we
FTLNLINEFTLN 0191 have a hot venison pasty to dinner. Come, gentlemen,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0192 I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.
SD
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0193I had rather than forty shillings I had my
FTLNLINEFTLN 0194 book of Songs and Sonnets here!
FTLNLINEFTLN 0195195 How now, Simple? Where have you been? I must
FTLNLINEFTLN 0196 wait on myself, must I? You have not the Book of
FTLNLINEFTLN 0197 Riddles about you, have you?
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 0198Book of Riddles? Why, did you not lend it to
FTLNLINEFTLN 0199 Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight
FTLNLINEFTLN 0200200 afore Michaelmas?
SHALLOWSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0202 for you. A word with you, coz. Marry, this, coz:
FTLNLINEFTLN 0203 there is, as ’twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made
FTLNLINEFTLN 0204 afar off by Sir Hugh here. Do you understand me?
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0205205Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable. If it be
FTLNLINEFTLN 0206 so, I shall do that that is reason.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0207Nay, but understand me.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0208So I do, sir.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0209Give ear to his motions, Master Slender. I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0210210 will description the matter to you, if you be capacity
FTLNLINEFTLN 0211 of it.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0212Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says. I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0213 pray you, pardon me. He’s a Justice of Peace in his
FTLNLINEFTLN 0214 country, simple though I stand here.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0215215But that is not the question. The question is
FTLNLINEFTLN 0216 concerning your marriage.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0217Ay, there’s the point, sir.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0218Marry, is it, the very point of it—to Mistress
FTLNLINEFTLN 0219 Anne Page.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0220220Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any
FTLNLINEFTLN 0221 reasonable demands.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0222But can you affection the ’oman? Let us command
FTLNLINEFTLN 0223 to know that of your mouth, or of your lips;
FTLNLINEFTLN 0224 for divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of
FTLNLINEFTLN 0225225 the mouth. Therefore, precisely, can you carry your
FTLNLINEFTLN 0226 good will to the maid?
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0227Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?
FTLNLINEFTLN 0229 that would do reason.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0230230Nay, Got’s lords and His ladies! You must
FTLNLINEFTLN 0231 speak positable, if you can carry her your desires
FTLNLINEFTLN 0232 towards her.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0233That you must. Will you, upon good dowry,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0234 marry her?
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0235235I will do a greater thing than that, upon your
FTLNLINEFTLN 0236 request, cousin, in any reason.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0237Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0238 What I do is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the
FTLNLINEFTLN 0239 maid?
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0240240I will marry her, sir, at your request. But if
FTLNLINEFTLN 0241 there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven
FTLNLINEFTLN 0242 may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when
FTLNLINEFTLN 0243 we are married and have more occasion to know
FTLNLINEFTLN 0244 one another. I hope upon familiarity will grow
FTLNLINEFTLN 0245245 more content. But if you say “Marry her,” I will
FTLNLINEFTLN 0246 marry her. That I am freely dissolved, and
FTLNLINEFTLN 0247 dissolutely.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0248It is a fery discretion answer, save the fall is
FTLNLINEFTLN 0249 in the ’ord “dissolutely.” The ’ort is, according to
FTLNLINEFTLN 0250250 our meaning, “resolutely.” His meaning is good.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0251Ay, I think my cousin meant well.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0252Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la!
SD
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0253Here comes fair Mistress Anne.—Would I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0254 were young for your sake, Mistress Anne.
ANNE FTLNLINEFTLN 0255255The dinner is on the table. My father desires
FTLNLINEFTLN 0256 your Worships’ company.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0257I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0258’Od’s plessèd will, I will not be absence at
FTLNLINEFTLN 0259 the grace.SD
ANNESD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0261 in, sir?
FTLNLINEFTLN 0263 well.
ANNE FTLNLINEFTLN 0264The dinner attends you, sir.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0265265I am not ahungry, I thank you, forsooth.SD
Simple.)
FTLNLINEFTLN 0267 wait upon my cousin Shallow.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 0268 Justice of Peace sometime may be beholding to his
FTLNLINEFTLN 0269 friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy
FTLNLINEFTLN 0270270 yet, till my mother be dead. But what though? Yet
FTLNLINEFTLN 0271 I live like a poor gentleman born.
ANNE FTLNLINEFTLN 0272I may not go in without your Worship. They will
FTLNLINEFTLN 0273 not sit till you come.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0274I’ faith, I’ll eat nothing. I thank you as much
FTLNLINEFTLN 0275275 as though I did.
ANNE FTLNLINEFTLN 0276I pray you, sir, walk in.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0277I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised
FTLNLINEFTLN 0278 my shin th’ other day with playing at sword and
FTLNLINEFTLN 0279 dagger with a master of fence—three veneys for a
FTLNLINEFTLN 0280280 dish of stewed prunes—and, by my troth, I cannot
FTLNLINEFTLN 0281 abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your
FTLNLINEFTLN 0282 dogs bark so? Be there bears i’ th’ town?
ANNE FTLNLINEFTLN 0283I think there are, sir. I heard them talked of.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0284I love the sport well, but I shall as soon quarrel
FTLNLINEFTLN 0285285 at it as any man in England. You are afraid if
FTLNLINEFTLN 0286 you see the bear loose, are you not?
ANNE FTLNLINEFTLN 0287Ay, indeed, sir.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0288That’s meat and drink to me, now. I have
FTLNLINEFTLN 0289 seen Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken
FTLNLINEFTLN 0290290 him by the chain. But, I warrant you, the women
FTLNLINEFTLN 0291 have so cried and shrieked at it that it passed. But
FTLNLINEFTLN 0292 women, indeed, cannot abide ’em; they are very ill-favored
FTLNLINEFTLN 0293 rough things.
SD
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0294Come, gentle Master Slender, come. We stay for
FTLNLINEFTLN 0295295 you.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0297By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! Come,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0298 come.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0299Nay, pray you, lead the way.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0300300Come on, sir.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0301Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.
ANNE FTLNLINEFTLN 0302Not I, sir. Pray you, keep on.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0303Truly, I will not go first, truly, la! I will not do
FTLNLINEFTLN 0304 you that wrong.
ANNE FTLNLINEFTLN 0305305I pray you, sir.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 0306I’ll rather be unmannerly than troublesome.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0307 You do yourself wrong, indeed, la!
SDThey exit.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0308Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius’
FTLNLINEFTLN 0309 house which is the way. And there dwells one Mistress
FTLNLINEFTLN 0310 Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0311 or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry—his
FTLNLINEFTLN 03125 washer and his wringer.
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 0313Well, sir.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 0314Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter
FTLNLINEFTLN 0315 SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 0316 acquaintance with Mistress Anne Page;
FTLNLINEFTLN 031710 and the letter is to desire and require her to solicit
FTLNLINEFTLN 0318 your master’s desires to Mistress Anne Page. I pray
FTLNLINEFTLN 0319 you, be gone. I will make an end of my dinner;
FTLNLINEFTLN 0320 there’s pippins and cheese to come.
SDThey exit.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0321Mine Host of the Garter!
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 0322What says my bullyrook? Speak scholarly and
FTLNLINEFTLN 0323 wisely.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0324Truly, mine Host, I must turn away some of
FTLNLINEFTLN 03255 my followers.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 0326Discard, bully Hercules, cashier. Let them wag;
FTLNLINEFTLN 0327 trot, trot.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0328I sit at ten pounds a week.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 0329Thou ’rt an emperor—Caesar, Keiser, and
FTLNLINEFTLN 033010 Pheazar. I will entertain Bardolph. He shall draw,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0331 he shall tap. Said I well, bully Hector?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0332Do so, good mine Host.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 0333I have spoke. Let him follow.—Let me see thee
FTLNLINEFTLN 0334 froth and
SD
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 033515Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good
FTLNLINEFTLN 0336 trade. An old cloak makes a new jerkin, a withered
FTLNLINEFTLN 0337 servingman a fresh tapster. Go. Adieu.
BARDOLPH FTLNLINEFTLN 0338It is a life that I have desired. I will thrive.
PISTOL FTLNLINEFTLN 0339O base Hungarian wight, wilt thou the spigot
FTLNLINEFTLN 034020 wield?SD
NYM FTLNLINEFTLN 0341He was gotten in drink. Is not the humor
FTLNLINEFTLN 0342 conceited?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0343I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderbox.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0344 His thefts were too open. His filching was like an
FTLNLINEFTLN 034525 unskillful singer; he kept not time.
NYM FTLNLINEFTLN 0346The good humor is to steal at a minute’s rest.
PISTOL FTLNLINEFTLN 0347“Convey,” the wise it call. “Steal”? Foh, a fico
FTLNLINEFTLN 0348 for the phrase!
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0349Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
PISTOL FTLNLINEFTLN 035030Why, then, let kibes ensue.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0351There is no remedy. I must cony-catch, I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0352 must shift.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0354Which of you know Ford of this town?
PISTOL FTLNLINEFTLN 035535I ken the wight. He is of substance good.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0356My honest lads, I will tell you what I am
FTLNLINEFTLN 0357 about.
PISTOL FTLNLINEFTLN 0358Two yards and more.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0359No quips now, Pistol. Indeed, I am in the
FTLNLINEFTLN 036040 waist two yards about, but I am now about no
FTLNLINEFTLN 0361 waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make
FTLNLINEFTLN 0362 love to Ford’s wife. I spy entertainment in her. She
FTLNLINEFTLN 0363 discourses; she carves; she gives the leer of invitation.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0364 I can construe the action of her familiar style;
FTLNLINEFTLN 036545 and the hardest voice of her behavior, to be Englished
FTLNLINEFTLN 0366 rightly, is “I am Sir John Falstaff’s.”
PISTOLSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0368 translated her will—out of honesty into English.
NYMSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 037050 humor pass?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0371Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of
FTLNLINEFTLN 0372 her husband’s purse. He hath a
PISTOLSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0374 “To her, boy,” say I.
NYMSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0376 Humor me the angels.
FALSTAFFSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0378 letter to her; and here another to Page’s wife, who
FTLNLINEFTLN 0379 even now gave me good eyes too, examined my
FTLNLINEFTLN 038060 parts with most judicious
FTLNLINEFTLN 0381 the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes
FTLNLINEFTLN 0382 my portly belly.
PISTOLSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0384 shine.
NYMSD,
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0386O, she did so course o’er my exteriors with
FTLNLINEFTLN 0387 such a greedy intention that the appetite of her
FTLNLINEFTLN 0388 eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass.
FTLNLINEFTLN 039070 too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0391 I will be cheaters to them both, and they shall be
FTLNLINEFTLN 0392 exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West
FTLNLINEFTLN 0393 Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go bear thou
FTLNLINEFTLN 0394 this letter to Mistress Page—and thou this to Mistress
FTLNLINEFTLN 039575 Ford. We will thrive, lads, we will thrive.
PISTOL
FTLNLINEFTLN 0396 Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0397 And by my side wear steel? Then Lucifer take all!
NYMSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0399 the humor-letter. I will keep the havior of
FTLNLINEFTLN 040080 reputation.
FALSTAFFSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0401 Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters tightly;
FTLNLINEFTLN 0402 Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.—
FTLNLINEFTLN 0403 Rogues, hence, avaunt, vanish like hailstones, go,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0404 Trudge, plod away i’ th’ hoof, seek shelter, pack!
FTLNLINEFTLN 040585 Falstaff will learn the
FTLNLINEFTLN 0406 French thrift, you rogues—myself and skirted page.
SD
PISTOL
FTLNLINEFTLN 0407 Let vultures gripe thy guts! For gourd and fullam
FTLNLINEFTLN 0408 holds,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0409 And high and low beguiles the rich and poor.
FTLNLINEFTLN 041090 Tester I’ll have in pouch when thou shalt lack,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0411 Base Phrygian Turk!
NYM FTLNLINEFTLN 0412I have operations which be humors of revenge.
PISTOL FTLNLINEFTLN 0413Wilt thou revenge?
NYM FTLNLINEFTLN 0414By welkin and her star!
PISTOL FTLNLINEFTLN 041595With wit or steel?
NYM FTLNLINEFTLN 0416With both the humors, I. I will discuss the
FTLNLINEFTLN 0417 humor of this love to Ford.
PISTOL
FTLNLINEFTLN 0418 And I to Page shall eke unfold
FTLNLINEFTLN 0419 How Falstaff, varlet vile,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0421 And his soft couch defile.
NYM FTLNLINEFTLN 0422My humor shall not cool. I will incense Ford to
FTLNLINEFTLN 0423 deal with poison. I will possess him with yellowness,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0424 for the revolt of mine is dangerous. That is
FTLNLINEFTLN 0425105 my true humor.
PISTOL FTLNLINEFTLN 0426Thou art the Mars of malcontents. I second
FTLNLINEFTLN 0427 thee. Troop on.
SDThey exit.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0428What, John Rugby!SD (Enter John
Rugby.) FTLNLINEFTLN 0429I pray thee, go to the casement and see if
FTLNLINEFTLN 0430 you can see my master, Master Doctor Caius, coming.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0431 If he do, i’ faith, and find anybody in the
FTLNLINEFTLN 04325 house, here will be an old abusing of God’s patience
FTLNLINEFTLN 0433 and the King’s English.
RUGBY FTLNLINEFTLN 0434I’ll go watch.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0435Go, and we’ll have a posset for ’t
FTLNLINEFTLN 0436 soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a seacoal
FTLNLINEFTLN 043710 fire.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 0438 as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0439 warrant you, no telltale nor no breed-bate. His
FTLNLINEFTLN 0440 worst fault is that he is given to prayer. He is something
FTLNLINEFTLN 0441 peevish that way, but nobody but has his
FTLNLINEFTLN 044215 fault. But let that pass. Peter Simple you say your
FTLNLINEFTLN 0443 name is?
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 0444Ay, for fault of a better.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0445And Master Slender’s your master?
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 0446Ay, forsooth.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 044720Does he not wear a great round
FTLNLINEFTLN 0448 beard like a glover’s paring knife?
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 0449No, forsooth. He hath but a little wee face,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0450 with a little yellow beard, a Cain-colored beard.
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 045225Ay, forsooth. But he is as tall a man of his
FTLNLINEFTLN 0453 hands as any is between this and his head. He hath
FTLNLINEFTLN 0454 fought with a warrener.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0455How say you? O, I should remember
FTLNLINEFTLN 0456 him. Does he not hold up his head, as it were,
FTLNLINEFTLN 045730 and strut in his gait?
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 0458Yes, indeed, does he.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0459Well, heaven send Anne Page no
FTLNLINEFTLN 0460 worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans I will do
FTLNLINEFTLN 0461 what I can for your master. Anne is a good girl, and
FTLNLINEFTLN 046235 I wish—
SD
RUGBY FTLNLINEFTLN 0463Out, alas! Here comes my master.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0464We shall all be shent.—Run in here,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0465 good young man. Go into this closet. He will not
FTLNLINEFTLN 0466 stay long.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 046740 John! What, John, I say! Go, John, go enquire for
FTLNLINEFTLN 0468 my master. I doubt he be not well, that he comes
FTLNLINEFTLN 0469 not home.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 0470 SD
SDEnter Doctor Caius.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 0471Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys.
FTLNLINEFTLN 047245 Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boîtier
FTLNLINEFTLN 0473 vert, a box, a green-a box. Do intend vat I speak?
FTLNLINEFTLN 0474 A green-a box.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0475Ay, forsooth. I’ll fetch it you.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0476 SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 047750 had found the young man, he would have been
FTLNLINEFTLN 0478 horn-mad.SD
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 0479Fe, fe, fe, fe! Ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je
FTLNLINEFTLN 0480 m’en vais à la cour—la grande affaire.
SD
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0481Is it this, sir?
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 048255Oui, mets-le à mon pocket. Dépêche,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0483 quickly. Vere is dat knave Rugby?
SD
RUGBY FTLNLINEFTLN 0485Here, sir.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 0486You are John Rugby, and you are Jack
FTLNLINEFTLN 048760 Rugby. Come, take-a your rapier, and come after
FTLNLINEFTLN 0488 my heel to the court.
RUGBY FTLNLINEFTLN 0489’Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 0490By my trot, I tarry too long. Od’s
FTLNLINEFTLN 0491 me! Qu’ai-j’oublié? Dere is some simples in my
FTLNLINEFTLN 049265 closet dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave
FTLNLINEFTLN 0493 behind.SD
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0494Ay me! He’ll find the young man
FTLNLINEFTLN 0495 there, and be mad!
SD
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 0496O diable, diable! Vat is in my closet? Villainy!
FTLNLINEFTLN 049770 Larron!SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 0498 rapier!
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0499Good master, be content.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 0500Wherefore shall I be content-a?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0501The young man is an honest man.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 050275What shall de honest man do in my
FTLNLINEFTLN 0503 closet? Dere is no honest man dat shall come in
FTLNLINEFTLN 0504 my closet.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0505I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0506 Hear the truth of it. He came of an errand to me
FTLNLINEFTLN 050780 from Parson Hugh.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 0508Vell?
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 0509Ay, forsooth. To desire her to—
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0510Peace, I pray you.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 0511Peace-a your tongue.—Speak-a your
FTLNLINEFTLN 051285 tale.
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 0513To desire this honest gentlewoman, your
FTLNLINEFTLN 0514 maid, to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page
FTLNLINEFTLN 0515 for my master in the way of marriage.
FTLNLINEFTLN 051790 put my finger in the fire, and need not.
DOCTOR CAIUSSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0519 Rugby, baille me some paper.—Tarry you a little-a
FTLNLINEFTLN 0520 while.
SD
MISTRESS QUICKLYSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 052295 quiet. If he had been throughly moved, you should
FTLNLINEFTLN 0523 have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But
FTLNLINEFTLN 0524 notwithstanding, man, I’ll do you your master
FTLNLINEFTLN 0525 what good I can. And the very yea and the no is,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0526 the French doctor, my master—I may call him my
FTLNLINEFTLN 0527100 master, look you, for I keep his house, and I wash,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0528 wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0529 make the beds, and do all myself—
SIMPLESD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0531 under one body’s hand.
MISTRESS QUICKLYSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0533 that? You shall find it a great charge. And to be up
FTLNLINEFTLN 0534 early and down late. But notwithstanding—to tell
FTLNLINEFTLN 0535 you in your ear; I would have no words of it—my
FTLNLINEFTLN 0536 master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0537110 But notwithstanding that, I know Anne’s mind.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0538 That’s neither here nor there.
DOCTOR CAIUSSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0540 give-a this letter to Sir Hugh. By gar, it is a
FTLNLINEFTLN 0541 shallenge. I will cut his troat in de park, and I will
FTLNLINEFTLN 0542115 teach a scurvy jackanape priest to meddle or
FTLNLINEFTLN 0543 make. You may be gone. It is not good you tarry
FTLNLINEFTLN 0544 here.—By gar, I will cut all his two stones. By gar,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0545 he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog.
SD
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0546Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 0547120It is no matter-a ver dat. Do not you tell-a
FTLNLINEFTLN 0548 me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0549 vill kill de jack priest; and I have appointed mine
FTLNLINEFTLN 0551 I will myself have Anne Page.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0552125Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall
FTLNLINEFTLN 0553 be well. We must give folks leave to prate. What
FTLNLINEFTLN 0554 the goodyear!
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 0555Rugby, come to the court with me.SD
Mistress Quickly.)
FTLNLINEFTLN 0557130 I shall turn your head out of my door.—Follow my
FTLNLINEFTLN 0558 heels, Rugby.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0559You shall have Anne—
SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 0560 fool’s head of your own. No, I know Anne’s mind
FTLNLINEFTLN 0561 for that. Never a woman in Windsor knows more
FTLNLINEFTLN 0562135 of Anne’s mind than I do, nor can do more than I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0563 do with her, I thank heaven.
FENTONSD,
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0565Who’s there, I trow? Come near the
FTLNLINEFTLN 0566 house, I pray you.
SDEnter Fenton.
FENTON FTLNLINEFTLN 0567140How now, good woman? How dost thou?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0568The better that it pleases your good
FTLNLINEFTLN 0569 Worship to ask.
FENTON FTLNLINEFTLN 0570What news? How does pretty Mistress Anne?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0571In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and
FTLNLINEFTLN 0572145 honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0573 can tell you that by the way, I praise heaven for it.
FENTON FTLNLINEFTLN 0574Shall I do any good, think’st thou? Shall I not
FTLNLINEFTLN 0575 lose my suit?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0576Troth, sir, all is in His hands above.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0577150 But notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I’ll be sworn
FTLNLINEFTLN 0578 on a book she loves you. Have not your Worship a
FTLNLINEFTLN 0579 wart above your eye?
FENTON FTLNLINEFTLN 0580Yes, marry, have I. What of that?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0581Well, thereby hangs a tale. Good
FTLNLINEFTLN 0582155 faith, it is such another Nan! But, I detest, an honest
FTLNLINEFTLN 0584 talk of that wart. I shall never laugh but in that
FTLNLINEFTLN 0585 maid’s company. But, indeed, she is given too
FTLNLINEFTLN 0586 much to allicholy and musing. But, for you,—well,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0587160 go to.
FENTON FTLNLINEFTLN 0588Well, I shall see her today. Hold, there’s
FTLNLINEFTLN 0589 money for thee.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 0590 have thy voice in my behalf. If thou see’st her before
FTLNLINEFTLN 0591 me, commend me.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0592165Will I? I’ faith, that we will. And I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0593 will tell your Worship more of the wart the next
FTLNLINEFTLN 0594 time we have confidence, and of other wooers.
FENTON FTLNLINEFTLN 0595Well, farewell. I am in great haste now.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0596Farewell to your Worship.
SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 0597170 Truly an honest gentleman—but Anne loves him
FTLNLINEFTLN 0598 not, for I know Anne’s mind as well as another
FTLNLINEFTLN 0599 does. Out upon ’t! What have I forgot?
SDShe exits.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0600What, have
FTLNLINEFTLN 0601 the holiday time of my beauty, and am I now a
FTLNLINEFTLN 0602 subject for them? Let me see.
SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 0603 Ask me no reason why I love you, for though Love
FTLNLINEFTLN 06045 use Reason for his precisian, he admits him not for
FTLNLINEFTLN 0605 his counselor. You are not young; no more am I. Go
FTLNLINEFTLN 0606 to, then, there’s sympathy. You are merry; so am I.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0607 Ha, ha, then, there’s more sympathy. You love sack,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0608 and so do I. Would you desire better sympathy? Let
FTLNLINEFTLN 060910 it suffice thee, Mistress Page—at the least, if the love
FTLNLINEFTLN 0610 of soldier can suffice—that I love thee. I will not say
FTLNLINEFTLN 0611 pity me—’tis not a soldier-like phrase—but I say love
FTLNLINEFTLN 0612 me. By me,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0613 Thine own true knight,
FTLNLINEFTLN 061415 By day or night,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0615 Or any kind of light,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0616 With all his might
FTLNLINEFTLN 0617 For thee to fight,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0618 John Falstaff.
FTLNLINEFTLN 061920 What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked, wicked
FTLNLINEFTLN 0620 world! One that is well-nigh worn to pieces with
FTLNLINEFTLN 0621 age, to show himself a young gallant! What an
FTLNLINEFTLN 0622 unweighed behavior hath this Flemish drunkard
FTLNLINEFTLN 062425 that he dares in this manner assay me?
FTLNLINEFTLN 0625 Why, he hath not been thrice in my company!
FTLNLINEFTLN 0626 What should I say to him? I was then frugal of my
FTLNLINEFTLN 0627 mirth. Heaven forgive me! Why, I’ll exhibit a bill
FTLNLINEFTLN 0628 in the Parliament for the putting down of men.
FTLNLINEFTLN 062930 How shall I be revenged on him? For revenged I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0630 will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings.
SDEnter Mistress Ford.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0631Mistress Page! Trust me, I was going to
FTLNLINEFTLN 0632 your house.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0633And, trust me, I was coming to you.
FTLNLINEFTLN 063435 You look very ill.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0635Nay, I’ll ne’er believe that. I have to
FTLNLINEFTLN 0636 show to the contrary.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0637Faith, but you do, in my mind.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0638Well, I do, then. Yet I say I could show
FTLNLINEFTLN 063940 you to the contrary. O Mistress Page, give me some
FTLNLINEFTLN 0640 counsel.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0641What’s the matter, woman?
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0642O woman, if it were not for one trifling
FTLNLINEFTLN 0643 respect, I could come to such honor!
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 064445Hang the trifle, woman; take the honor.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0645 What is it? Dispense with trifles. What is it?
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0646If I would but go to hell for an eternal
FTLNLINEFTLN 0647 moment or so, I could be knighted.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0648What, thou liest! Sir Alice Ford? These
FTLNLINEFTLN 064950 knights will hack, and so thou shouldst not alter
FTLNLINEFTLN 0650 the article of thy gentry.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0651We burn daylight. Here, read, read. Perceive
FTLNLINEFTLN 0652 how I might be knighted.SD
to Mistress Page, who reads it.)
FTLNLINEFTLN 065455 worse of fat men as long as I have an eye to make
FTLNLINEFTLN 0655 difference of men’s liking. And yet he would not
FTLNLINEFTLN 0656 swear;
FTLNLINEFTLN 0658 that I would have sworn his disposition
FTLNLINEFTLN 065960 would have gone to the truth of his words. But
FTLNLINEFTLN 0660 they do no more adhere and keep place together
FTLNLINEFTLN 0661 than the
FTLNLINEFTLN 0662 “Greensleeves.” What tempest, I trow, threw this
FTLNLINEFTLN 0663 whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore
FTLNLINEFTLN 066465 at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0665 think the best way were to entertain him with hope
FTLNLINEFTLN 0666 till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his
FTLNLINEFTLN 0667 own grease. Did you ever hear the like?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0668Letter for letter, but that the name of
FTLNLINEFTLN 066970 Page and Ford differs! To thy great comfort in this
FTLNLINEFTLN 0670 mystery of ill opinions, here’s the twin brother of
FTLNLINEFTLN 0671 thy letter.SD
reads it.)
FTLNLINEFTLN 0673 mine never shall. I warrant he hath a thousand of
FTLNLINEFTLN 067475 these letters writ with blank space for different
FTLNLINEFTLN 0675 names—sure, more—and these are of the second
FTLNLINEFTLN 0676 edition. He will print them, out of doubt; for he
FTLNLINEFTLN 0677 cares not what he puts into the press, when he
FTLNLINEFTLN 0678 would put us two. I had rather be a giantess and lie
FTLNLINEFTLN 067980 under Mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty
FTLNLINEFTLN 0680 lascivious turtles ere one chaste man.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0681Why, this is the very same—the very
FTLNLINEFTLN 0682 hand, the very words. What doth he think of us?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0683Nay, I know not. It makes me almost
FTLNLINEFTLN 068485 ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I’ll entertain
FTLNLINEFTLN 0685 myself like one that I am not acquainted
FTLNLINEFTLN 0686 withal; for, sure, unless he know some strain in
FTLNLINEFTLN 0687 me that I know not myself, he would never have
FTLNLINEFTLN 0688 boarded me in this fury.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 068990“Boarding” call you it? I’ll be sure to
FTLNLINEFTLN 0690 keep him above deck.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0691So will I. If he come under my hatches,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0692 I’ll never to sea again. Let’s be revenged on him.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0693 Let’s appoint him a meeting, give him a show of
FTLNLINEFTLN 0695 delay till he hath pawned his horses to mine
FTLNLINEFTLN 0696 Host of the Garter.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0697Nay, I will consent to act any villainy
FTLNLINEFTLN 0698 against him that may not sully the chariness of our
FTLNLINEFTLN 0699100 honesty. O, that my husband saw this letter! It
FTLNLINEFTLN 0700 would give eternal food to his jealousy.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0701Why, look where he comes, and my
FTLNLINEFTLN 0702 good man too. He’s as far from jealousy as I am
FTLNLINEFTLN 0703 from giving him cause, and that, I hope, is an
FTLNLINEFTLN 0704105 unmeasurable distance.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0705You are the happier woman.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0706Let’s consult together against this greasy
FTLNLINEFTLN 0707 knight. Come hither.SD
SDEnter Ford
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0708Well, I hope it be not so.
PISTOL
FTLNLINEFTLN 0709110 Hope is a curtal dog in some affairs.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0710 Sir John affects thy wife.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0711Why, sir, my wife is not young.
PISTOL
FTLNLINEFTLN 0712 He woos both high and low, both rich and poor,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0713 Both young and old, one with another, Ford.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0714115 He loves the gallimaufry. Ford, perpend.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0715Love my wife?
PISTOL
FTLNLINEFTLN 0716 With liver burning hot. Prevent,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0717 Or go thou like Sir Acteon, he,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0718 With Ringwood at thy heels.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0719120 O, odious is the name!
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0720What name, sir?
PISTOL FTLNLINEFTLN 0721The horn, I say. Farewell.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0722 Take heed, have open eye, for thieves do foot by
FTLNLINEFTLN 0723 night.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0724125 Take heed, ere summer comes or cuckoo birds do
FTLNLINEFTLN 0725 sing.—
FTLNLINEFTLN 0727 speaks sense.SD
FORDSD,
NYMSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0730 lying. He hath wronged me in some humors. I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0731 should have borne the humored letter to her; but I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0732 have a sword, and it shall bite upon my necessity.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0733 He loves your wife; there’s the short and the long.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0734135 My name is Corporal Nym. I speak and I avouch.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0735 ’Tis true. My name is Nym, and Falstaff loves your
FTLNLINEFTLN 0736 wife. Adieu. I love not the humor of bread and
FTLNLINEFTLN 0737 cheese. Adieu.SD
PAGESD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0739140 frights English out of his wits.
FORDSD,
PAGESD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0742 rogue.
FORDSD,
PAGESD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0745 the priest o’ th’ town commended him for a true
FTLNLINEFTLN 0746 man.
FORDSD,
SD
PAGESD,
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0749150Whither go you, George? Hark you.
SD
MISTRESS FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0751 art thou melancholy?
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0752I melancholy? I am not melancholy. Get you
FTLNLINEFTLN 0753 home. Go.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0754155Faith, thou hast some crochets in thy
FTLNLINEFTLN 0755 head now.—Will you go, Mistress Page?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0756Have with you.—You’ll come to dinner,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0757 George?SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 0758 comes yonder.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0759160 She shall be our messenger to this paltry knight.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0760Trust me, I thought on her. She’ll fit it.
MISTRESS PAGESD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0762 see my daughter Anne?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0763Ay, forsooth. And, I pray, how does
FTLNLINEFTLN 0764165 good Mistress Anne?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0765Go in with us and see. We have an
FTLNLINEFTLN 0766 hour’s talk with you.
SD
Mistress Quickly exit.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0767How now, Master Ford?
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0768You heard what this knave told me, did you not?
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0769170Yes, and you heard what the other told me?
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0770Do you think there is truth in them?
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0771Hang ’em, slaves! I do not think the knight
FTLNLINEFTLN 0772 would offer it. But these that accuse him in his intent
FTLNLINEFTLN 0773 towards our wives are a yoke of his discarded
FTLNLINEFTLN 0774175 men, very rogues, now they be out of service.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0775Were they his men?
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0776Marry, were they.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0777I like it never the better for that. Does he lie at
FTLNLINEFTLN 0778 the Garter?
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0779180Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage
FTLNLINEFTLN 0780 toward my wife, I would turn her loose to him;
FTLNLINEFTLN 0781 and what he gets more of her than sharp words, let
FTLNLINEFTLN 0782 it lie on my head.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0783I do not misdoubt my wife, but I would be loath
FTLNLINEFTLN 0784185 to turn them together. A man may be too confident.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0785 I would have nothing lie on my head. I cannot
FTLNLINEFTLN 0786 be thus satisfied.
SDEnter Host.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0787Look where my ranting Host of the Garter
FTLNLINEFTLN 0788 comes. There is either liquor in his pate or money
FTLNLINEFTLN 0789190 in his purse when he looks so merrily.—How now,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0790 mine Host?
FTLNLINEFTLN 0792 Cavaleiro Justice, I say!
SDEnter Shallow.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0793I follow, mine Host, I follow.—Good even
FTLNLINEFTLN 0794195 and twenty, good Master Page. Master Page, will
FTLNLINEFTLN 0795 you go with us? We have sport in hand.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 0796Tell him, Cavaleiro Justice; tell him, bullyrook.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0797Sir, there is a fray to be fought between
FTLNLINEFTLN 0798 Sir Hugh the Welsh priest and Caius the French
FTLNLINEFTLN 0799200 doctor.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0800Good mine Host o’ th’ Garter, a word with you.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 0801What say’st thou, my bullyrook?
SD
SHALLOWSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0803 My merry Host hath had the measuring of their
FTLNLINEFTLN 0804205 weapons and, I think, hath appointed them contrary
FTLNLINEFTLN 0805 places; for, believe me, I hear the parson is no
FTLNLINEFTLN 0806 jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be.
SD
HOSTSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0808 my guest cavalier?
FTLNLINEFTLN 0810 burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him
FTLNLINEFTLN 0811 my name is
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 0812My hand, bully. Thou shalt have egress and
FTLNLINEFTLN 0813 regress—said I well?—and thy name shall be
FTLNLINEFTLN 0814215
Page.)
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0816Have with you, mine Host.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0817I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill
FTLNLINEFTLN 0818 in his rapier.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 0819220Tut, sir, I could have told you more. In these
FTLNLINEFTLN 0820 times you stand on distance—your passes, stoccados,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0821 and I know not what. ’Tis the heart, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 0822 Page; ’tis here, ’tis here. I have seen the time, with
FTLNLINEFTLN 0823 my long sword I would have made you four tall
FTLNLINEFTLN 0824225 fellows skip like rats.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 0826Have with you. I had rather hear them scold
FTLNLINEFTLN 0827 than fight.SD
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 0828Though Page be a secure fool and stands so
FTLNLINEFTLN 0829230 firmly on his wife’s frailty, yet I cannot put off my
FTLNLINEFTLN 0830 opinion so easily. She was in his company at Page’s
FTLNLINEFTLN 0831 house, and what they made there I know not. Well,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0832 I will look further into ’t, and I have a disguise to
FTLNLINEFTLN 0833 sound Falstaff. If I find her honest, I lose not my
FTLNLINEFTLN 0834235 labor. If she be otherwise, ’tis labor well bestowed.
SD
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0835I will not lend thee a penny.
PISTOL FTLNLINEFTLN 0836Why then, the world’s mine oyster, which I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0837 with sword will open.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0838Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you
FTLNLINEFTLN 08395 should lay my countenance to pawn. I have grated
FTLNLINEFTLN 0840 upon my good friends for three reprieves for you
FTLNLINEFTLN 0841 and your coach-fellow Nym, or else you had
FTLNLINEFTLN 0842 looked through the grate like a gemini of baboons.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0843 I am damned in hell for swearing to gentlemen my
FTLNLINEFTLN 084410 friends you were good soldiers and tall fellows.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0845 And when Mistress Bridget lost the handle of her
FTLNLINEFTLN 0846 fan, I took ’t upon mine honor thou hadst it not.
PISTOL FTLNLINEFTLN 0847Didst not thou share? Hadst thou not fifteen
FTLNLINEFTLN 0848 pence?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 084915Reason, you rogue, reason. Think’st thou I’ll
FTLNLINEFTLN 0850 endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more
FTLNLINEFTLN 0851 about me. I am no gibbet for you. Go—a short
FTLNLINEFTLN 0852 knife and a throng—to your manor of Pickt-hatch,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0853 go. You’ll not bear a letter for me, you rogue? You
FTLNLINEFTLN 085420 stand upon your honor? Why, thou unconfinable
FTLNLINEFTLN 0856 terms of my honor precise. Ay, ay, I myself sometimes,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0857 leaving the fear of
FTLNLINEFTLN 0858 and hiding mine honor in my necessity, am fain to
FTLNLINEFTLN 085925 shuffle, to hedge, and to lurch; and yet you, rogue,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0860 will ensconce your rags, your cat-a-mountain
FTLNLINEFTLN 0861 looks, your red-lattice phrases, and your bold beating
FTLNLINEFTLN 0862 oaths under the shelter of your honor! You will
FTLNLINEFTLN 0863 not do it? You?
PISTOL FTLNLINEFTLN 086430I do relent. What would thou more of man?
SDEnter Robin.
ROBIN FTLNLINEFTLN 0865Sir, here’s a woman would speak with you.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0866Let her approach.
SDEnter
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0867Give your Worship good morrow.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0868Good morrow, goodwife.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 086935Not so, an ’t please your Worship.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0870Good maid, then.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0871I’ll be sworn—as my mother was,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0872 the first hour I was born.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0873I do believe the swearer. What with me?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 087440Shall I vouchsafe your Worship a
FTLNLINEFTLN 0875 word or two?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0876Two thousand, fair woman, and I’ll vouchsafe
FTLNLINEFTLN 0877 thee the hearing.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0878There is one Mistress Ford, sir—I
FTLNLINEFTLN 087945 pray, come a little nearer this ways. I myself dwell
FTLNLINEFTLN 0880 with Master Doctor Caius.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0881Well, on. “Mistress Ford,” you say—
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0882Your Worship says very true. I pray
FTLNLINEFTLN 0883 your Worship, come a little nearer this ways.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 088450I warrant thee, nobody hears. Mine own
FTLNLINEFTLN 0885 people, mine own people.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0886Are they so?
FTLNLINEFTLN 0887 make them His servants!
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 088955Why, sir, she’s a good creature.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0890 Lord, Lord, your Worship’s a wanton! Well, heaven
FTLNLINEFTLN 0891 forgive you and all of us, I pray!
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0892“Mistress Ford”—come, “Mistress Ford”—
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0893Marry, this is the short and the long
FTLNLINEFTLN 089460 of it: you have brought her into such a canaries as
FTLNLINEFTLN 0895 ’tis wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when
FTLNLINEFTLN 0896 the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought
FTLNLINEFTLN 0897 her to such a canary. Yet there has been knights,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0898 and lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches, I
FTLNLINEFTLN 089965 warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0900 gift after gift, smelling so sweetly—all musk—and
FTLNLINEFTLN 0901 so rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold, and in
FTLNLINEFTLN 0902 such alligant terms, and in such wine and sugar of
FTLNLINEFTLN 0903 the best and the fairest, that would have won any
FTLNLINEFTLN 090470 woman’s heart; and, I warrant you, they could
FTLNLINEFTLN 0905 never get an eye-wink of her. I had myself twenty
FTLNLINEFTLN 0906 angels given me this morning, but I defy all angels
FTLNLINEFTLN 0907 in any such sort, as they say, but in the way of
FTLNLINEFTLN 0908 honesty. And, I warrant you, they could never get
FTLNLINEFTLN 090975 her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of
FTLNLINEFTLN 0910 them all. And yet there has been earls—nay, which
FTLNLINEFTLN 0911 is more, pensioners—but, I warrant you, all is one
FTLNLINEFTLN 0912 with her.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0913But what says she to me? Be brief, my good
FTLNLINEFTLN 091480 she-Mercury.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0915Marry, she hath received your letter,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0916 for the which she thanks you a thousand times,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0917 and she gives you to notify that her husband will
FTLNLINEFTLN 0918 be absence from his house between ten and eleven.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 091985Ten and eleven?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0920Ay, forsooth; and then you may come
FTLNLINEFTLN 0921 and see the picture, she says, that you wot of. Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 0922 Ford, her husband, will be from home. Alas, the
FTLNLINEFTLN 0923 sweet woman leads an ill life with him. He’s a very
FTLNLINEFTLN 0925 him, good heart.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0926Ten and eleven. Woman, commend me to
FTLNLINEFTLN 0927 her. I will not fail her.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0928Why, you say well. But I have another
FTLNLINEFTLN 092995 messenger to your Worship. Mistress Page
FTLNLINEFTLN 0930 hath her hearty commendations to you too; and,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0931 let me tell you in your ear, she’s as fartuous a civil
FTLNLINEFTLN 0932 modest wife, and one, I tell you, that will not miss
FTLNLINEFTLN 0933 you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Windsor,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0934100 whoe’er be the other. And she bade me tell
FTLNLINEFTLN 0935 your Worship that her husband is seldom from
FTLNLINEFTLN 0936 home, but she hopes there will come a time. I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0937 never knew a woman so dote upon a man. Surely, I
FTLNLINEFTLN 0938 think you have charms, la! Yes, in truth.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0939105Not I, I assure thee. Setting the attraction of
FTLNLINEFTLN 0940 my good parts aside, I have no other charms.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0941Blessing on your heart for ’t!
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0942But I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford’s wife
FTLNLINEFTLN 0943 and Page’s wife acquainted each other how they
FTLNLINEFTLN 0944110 love me?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0945That were a jest indeed! They have
FTLNLINEFTLN 0946 not so little grace, I hope. That were a trick indeed!
FTLNLINEFTLN 0947 But Mistress Page would desire you to send her
FTLNLINEFTLN 0948 your little page, of all loves. Her husband has a
FTLNLINEFTLN 0949115 marvelous infection to the little page; and, truly,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0950 Master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in
FTLNLINEFTLN 0951 Windsor leads a better life than she does. Do what
FTLNLINEFTLN 0952 she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to
FTLNLINEFTLN 0953 bed when she list, rise when she list—all is as she
FTLNLINEFTLN 0954120 will. And, truly, she deserves it, for if there be a
FTLNLINEFTLN 0955 kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send
FTLNLINEFTLN 0956 her your page, no remedy.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0957Why, I will.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 0958Nay, but do so then, and, look you,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0959125 he may come and go between you both. And in any
FTLNLINEFTLN 0961 mind, and the boy never need to understand
FTLNLINEFTLN 0962 anything; for ’tis not good that children
FTLNLINEFTLN 0963 should know any wickedness. Old folks, you know,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0964130 have discretion, as they say, and know the world.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0965Fare thee well. Commend me to them both.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0966 There’s my purse.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 0967 thy debtor.—Boy, go along with this woman.SD
Quickly and Robin exit.)
FTLNLINEFTLN 0969135 me.
PISTOLSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0970 This punk is one of Cupid’s carriers.
FTLNLINEFTLN 0971 Clap on more sails, pursue; up with your fights;
FTLNLINEFTLN 0972 Give fire! She is my prize, or ocean whelm them all!
SD
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0973Sayst thou so, old Jack? Go thy ways. I’ll
FTLNLINEFTLN 0974140 make more of thy old body than I have done. Will
FTLNLINEFTLN 0975 they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense
FTLNLINEFTLN 0976 of so much money, be now a gainer? Good
FTLNLINEFTLN 0977 body, I thank thee. Let them say ’tis grossly done;
FTLNLINEFTLN 0978 so it be fairly done, no matter.
SD
BARDOLPH FTLNLINEFTLN 0979145Sir John, there’s one Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 0980 would fain speak with you and be acquainted with
FTLNLINEFTLN 0981 you, and hath sent your Worship a morning’s
FTLNLINEFTLN 0982 draught of sack.SD
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0983
BARDOLPH FTLNLINEFTLN 0984150Ay, sir.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0985Call him in. Such
FTLNLINEFTLN 0986 me that o’erflows such liquor.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 0987 Ah ha, Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, have I encompassed
FTLNLINEFTLN 0988 you? Go to. Via!
SDEnter
FORDSD,
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0990And you, sir. Would you speak with me?
FTLNLINEFTLN 0992 preparation upon you.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0993You’re welcome. What’s your will?—Give us
FTLNLINEFTLN 0994160 leave, drawer.SD
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 0996 much. My name is
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 0997Good Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 0998 of you.
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1000 to charge you, for I must let you understand I
FTLNLINEFTLN 1001 think myself in better plight for a lender than you
FTLNLINEFTLN 1002 are, the which hath something emboldened me to
FTLNLINEFTLN 1003 this unseasoned intrusion; for they say, if money
FTLNLINEFTLN 1004170 go before, all ways do lie open.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1005Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on.
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1007 here troubles me.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1008 to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for easing me
FTLNLINEFTLN 1009175 of the carriage.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1010Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your
FTLNLINEFTLN 1011 porter.
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1013 the hearing.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1014180Speak, good Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1015 to be your servant.
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1017 be brief with you—and you have been a man long
FTLNLINEFTLN 1018 known to me, though I had never so good means
FTLNLINEFTLN 1019185 as desire to make myself acquainted with you. I
FTLNLINEFTLN 1020 shall discover a thing to you wherein I must very
FTLNLINEFTLN 1021 much lay open mine own imperfection. But, good
FTLNLINEFTLN 1022 Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as
FTLNLINEFTLN 1023 you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register
FTLNLINEFTLN 1024190 of your own, that I may pass with a reproof
FTLNLINEFTLN 1025 the easier, sith you yourself know how easy it is to
FTLNLINEFTLN 1026 be such an offender.
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1029195 town—her husband’s name is Ford.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1030Well, sir.
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1032 to you, bestowed much on her, followed her with
FTLNLINEFTLN 1033 a doting observance, engrossed opportunities to
FTLNLINEFTLN 1034200 meet her, fee’d every slight occasion that could but
FTLNLINEFTLN 1035 niggardly give me sight of her, not only bought
FTLNLINEFTLN 1036 many presents to give her, but have given largely to
FTLNLINEFTLN 1037 many to know what she would have given. Briefly,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1038 I have pursued her as love hath pursued me, which
FTLNLINEFTLN 1039205 hath been on the wing of all occasions. But whatsoever
FTLNLINEFTLN 1040 I have merited, either in my mind or in my
FTLNLINEFTLN 1041 means, meed I am sure I have received none, unless
FTLNLINEFTLN 1042 experience be a jewel. That I have purchased
FTLNLINEFTLN 1043 at an infinite rate, and that hath taught me to say
FTLNLINEFTLN 1044210 this:
FTLNLINEFTLN 1045 “Love like a shadow flies when substance love
FTLNLINEFTLN 1046 pursues,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1047 Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.”
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1048Have you received no promise of satisfaction
FTLNLINEFTLN 1049215 at her hands?
FORDSD,
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1051Have you importuned her to such a
FTLNLINEFTLN 1052 purpose?
FORDSD,
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1054220Of what quality was your love, then?
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1056 man’s ground, so that I have lost my edifice by
FTLNLINEFTLN 1057 mistaking the place where I erected it.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1058To what purpose have you unfolded this to
FTLNLINEFTLN 1059225 me?
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1061 told you all. Some say that though she appear honest
FTLNLINEFTLN 1062 to me, yet in other places she enlargeth her
FTLNLINEFTLN 1063 mirth so far that there is shrewd construction
FTLNLINEFTLN 1065 purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent breeding,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1066 admirable discourse, of great admittance,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1067 authentic in your place and person, generally
FTLNLINEFTLN 1068 allowed for your many warlike, courtlike, and
FTLNLINEFTLN 1069235 learned preparations.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1070O, sir!
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1072 money.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1073 it, spend more; spend all I have. Only give me so
FTLNLINEFTLN 1074240 much of your time in exchange of it as to lay an
FTLNLINEFTLN 1075 amiable siege to the honesty of this Ford’s wife.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1076 Use your art of wooing; win her to consent to you.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1077 If any man may, you may as soon as any.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1078Would it apply well to the vehemency of
FTLNLINEFTLN 1079245 your affection that I should win what you would
FTLNLINEFTLN 1080 enjoy? Methinks you prescribe to yourself very
FTLNLINEFTLN 1081 preposterously.
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1083 so securely on the excellency of her honor that the
FTLNLINEFTLN 1084250 folly of my soul dares not present itself; she is too
FTLNLINEFTLN 1085 bright to be looked against. Now, could I come to
FTLNLINEFTLN 1086 her with any detection in my hand, my desires had
FTLNLINEFTLN 1087 instance and argument to commend themselves. I
FTLNLINEFTLN 1088 could drive her then from the ward of her purity,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1089255 her reputation, her marriage vow, and a thousand
FTLNLINEFTLN 1090 other her defenses, which now are too too strongly
FTLNLINEFTLN 1091 embattled against me. What say you to ’t, Sir
FTLNLINEFTLN 1092 John?
FALSTAFFSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1094260 make bold with your money; next, give me your
FTLNLINEFTLN 1095 hand; and, last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if
FTLNLINEFTLN 1096 you will, enjoy Ford’s wife.
FORDSD,
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1098I say you shall.
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1100 want none.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1102 shall want none. I shall be with her, I may tell you,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1103 by her own appointment. Even as you came in to
FTLNLINEFTLN 1104270 me, her assistant or go-between parted from me. I
FTLNLINEFTLN 1105 say I shall be with her between ten and eleven, for
FTLNLINEFTLN 1106 at that time the jealous, rascally knave her husband
FTLNLINEFTLN 1107 will be forth. Come you to me at night. You
FTLNLINEFTLN 1108 shall know how I speed.
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1110 Do you know Ford, sir?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1111Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know
FTLNLINEFTLN 1112 him not. Yet I wrong him to call him poor. They
FTLNLINEFTLN 1113 say the jealous wittolly knave hath masses of
FTLNLINEFTLN 1114280 money, for the which his wife seems to me well-favored.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1115 I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly
FTLNLINEFTLN 1116 rogue’s coffer, and there’s my harvest home.
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1118 might avoid him if you saw him.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1119285Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I
FTLNLINEFTLN 1120 will stare him out of his wits. I will awe him with
FTLNLINEFTLN 1121 my cudgel; it shall hang like a meteor o’er the
FTLNLINEFTLN 1122 cuckold’s horns. Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1123 will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt
FTLNLINEFTLN 1124290 lie with his wife. Come to me soon at night. Ford’s
FTLNLINEFTLN 1125 a knave, and I will aggravate his style. Thou, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1126
FTLNLINEFTLN 1127 Come to me soon at night.SD
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1128What a damned epicurean rascal is this! My
FTLNLINEFTLN 1129295 heart is ready to crack with impatience. Who says
FTLNLINEFTLN 1130 this is improvident jealousy? My wife hath sent
FTLNLINEFTLN 1131 to him, the hour is fixed, the match is made.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1132 Would any man have thought this? See the hell of
FTLNLINEFTLN 1133 having a false woman: my bed shall be abused, my
FTLNLINEFTLN 1134300 coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawn at. And
FTLNLINEFTLN 1135 I shall not only receive this villainous wrong but
FTLNLINEFTLN 1136 stand under the adoption of abominable terms,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1138 names! “Amaimon” sounds well, “Lucifer” well,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1139305 “Barbason” well; yet they are devils’ additions, the
FTLNLINEFTLN 1140 names of fiends. But “Cuckold,” “Wittoll,” “Cuckold”!
FTLNLINEFTLN 1141 The devil himself hath not such a name. Page
FTLNLINEFTLN 1142 is an ass, a secure ass. He will trust his wife, he will
FTLNLINEFTLN 1143 not be jealous. I will rather trust a Fleming with
FTLNLINEFTLN 1144310 my butter, Parson Hugh the Welshman with my
FTLNLINEFTLN 1145 cheese, an Irishman with my aquavitae bottle, or
FTLNLINEFTLN 1146 a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife
FTLNLINEFTLN 1147 with herself. Then she plots, then she ruminates,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1148 then she devises; and what they think in their
FTLNLINEFTLN 1149315 hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts
FTLNLINEFTLN 1150 but they will effect.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1151 Eleven o’clock the hour. I will prevent this,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1152 detect my wife, be revenged on Falstaff, and laugh
FTLNLINEFTLN 1153 at Page. I will about it. Better three hours too soon
FTLNLINEFTLN 1154320 than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! Cuckold, cuckold,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1155 cuckold!
SDHe exits.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1156Jack Rugby.
RUGBY FTLNLINEFTLN 1157Sir?
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1158Vat is the clock, Jack?
RUGBY FTLNLINEFTLN 1159’Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised
FTLNLINEFTLN 11605 to meet.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1161By gar, he has save his soul dat he is no
FTLNLINEFTLN 1162 come. He has pray his Pible well dat he is no come.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1163 By gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already if he be
FTLNLINEFTLN 1164 come.
RUGBY FTLNLINEFTLN 116510He is wise, sir. He knew your Worship would
FTLNLINEFTLN 1166 kill him if he came.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1168 kill him. Take your rapier, Jack. I vill tell you how I
FTLNLINEFTLN 1169 vill kill him.
RUGBY FTLNLINEFTLN 117015Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1171Villainy, take your rapier.
RUGBY FTLNLINEFTLN 1172Forbear. Here’s company.
SDEnter Page, Shallow, Slender,
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 1173
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 1174
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 117520Now, good Master Doctor!
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 1176Give you good morrow, sir.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1177Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come
FTLNLINEFTLN 1178 for?
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 1179To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse;
FTLNLINEFTLN 118025 to see thee here, to see thee there; to see
FTLNLINEFTLN 1181
FTLNLINEFTLN 1182 distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian?
FTLNLINEFTLN 1183 Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha, bully? What says
FTLNLINEFTLN 1184 my Aesculapius, my Galien, my heart of elder, ha?
FTLNLINEFTLN 118530 Is he dead, bully stale? Is he dead?
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1186By gar, he is de coward jack-priest of de
FTLNLINEFTLN 1187 vorld. He is not show his face.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 1188Thou art a Castalion King Urinal Hector of
FTLNLINEFTLN 1189 Greece, my boy!
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 119035I pray you, bear witness that me have
FTLNLINEFTLN 1191 stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is
FTLNLINEFTLN 1192 no come.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 1193He is the wiser man, Master Doctor. He is a
FTLNLINEFTLN 1194 curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies. If you
FTLNLINEFTLN 119540 should fight, you go against the hair of your professions.—
FTLNLINEFTLN 1196 Is it not true, Master Page?
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1197Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great
FTLNLINEFTLN 1198 fighter, though now a man of peace.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 1199Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old
FTLNLINEFTLN 120045 and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger
FTLNLINEFTLN 1202 doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we have
FTLNLINEFTLN 1203 some salt of our youth in us. We are the sons of
FTLNLINEFTLN 1204 women, Master Page.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 120550’Tis true, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 1206It will be found so, Master Page.—Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1207 Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am
FTLNLINEFTLN 1208 sworn of the peace. You have showed yourself a
FTLNLINEFTLN 1209 wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself
FTLNLINEFTLN 121055 a wise and patient churchman. You must go with
FTLNLINEFTLN 1211 me, Master Doctor.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 1212Pardon, guest Justice.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1213 Monsieur Mockwater.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1214“Mockvater”? Vat is dat?
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 121560“Mockwater,” in our English tongue, is “valor,”
FTLNLINEFTLN 1216 bully.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1217By gar, then I have as much mockvater
FTLNLINEFTLN 1218 as de Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1219 me vill cut his ears.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 122065He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1221“Clapper-de-claw”? Vat is dat?
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 1222That is, he will make thee amends.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1223By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw
FTLNLINEFTLN 1224 me, for, by gar, me vill have it.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 122570And I will provoke him to ’t, or let him wag.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1226Me tank you for dat.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 1227And moreover, bully—SD
and Slender aside.)
FTLNLINEFTLN 1229 Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you
FTLNLINEFTLN 123075 through the town to Frogmore.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1231Sir Hugh is there, is he?
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 1232He is there. See what humor he is in; and I will
FTLNLINEFTLN 1233 bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do
FTLNLINEFTLN 1234 well?
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 123580We will do it.
PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 1236Adieu, good Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1237 Doctor.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1239 for a jackanape to Anne Page.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 124085Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold
FTLNLINEFTLN 1241 water on thy choler. Go about the fields with me
FTLNLINEFTLN 1242 through Frogmore. I will bring thee where Mistress
FTLNLINEFTLN 1243 Anne Page is, at a farmhouse a-feasting, and
FTLNLINEFTLN 1244 thou shalt woo her. Cried game! Said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 124590By gar, me dank you vor dat. By gar, I
FTLNLINEFTLN 1246 love you, and I shall procure-a you de good guest:
FTLNLINEFTLN 1247 de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my
FTLNLINEFTLN 1248 patients.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 1249For the which I will be thy adversary toward
FTLNLINEFTLN 125095 Anne Page. Said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1251By gar, ’tis good. Vell said.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 1252Let us wag, then.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1253Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
SDThey exit.
and
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1254I pray you now, good Master Slender’s servingman
FTLNLINEFTLN 1255 and friend Simple by your name, which
FTLNLINEFTLN 1256 way have you looked for Master Caius, that calls
FTLNLINEFTLN 1257 himself doctor of physic?
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 12585Marry, sir, the
FTLNLINEFTLN 1259 every way; Old Windsor way, and every way but
FTLNLINEFTLN 1260 the town way.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1261I most fehemently desire you, you will also
FTLNLINEFTLN 1262 look that way.
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 126310I will, sir.SD
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1264Pless my soul, how full of cholers I am, and
FTLNLINEFTLN 1265 trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceived
FTLNLINEFTLN 1266 me. How melancholies I am! I will knog his
FTLNLINEFTLN 1267 urinals about his knave’s costard when I have good
FTLNLINEFTLN 126815 opportunities for the ’ork. Pless my soul!
SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1269 To shallow rivers, to whose falls
FTLNLINEFTLN 1270 Melodious birds sings madrigals.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1271 There will we make our peds of roses
FTLNLINEFTLN 1272 And a thousand fragrant posies.
FTLNLINEFTLN 127320 To shallow—
FTLNLINEFTLN 1274 Mercy on me, I have a great dispositions to cry.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1275 Melodious birds sing madrigals—
FTLNLINEFTLN 1276 Whenas I sat in Pabylon—
FTLNLINEFTLN 1277 And a thousand vagram posies.
FTLNLINEFTLN 127825 To shallow rivers, to whose falls
FTLNLINEFTLN 1279 Melodious birds sings madrigals.
SD
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 1280Yonder he is, coming this way, Sir Hugh.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1281He’s welcome.
SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1282 To shallow rivers, to whose falls—
FTLNLINEFTLN 128330 Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he?
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 1284No weapons, sir. There comes my master,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1285 Master Shallow, and another gentleman, from
FTLNLINEFTLN 1286 Frogmore, over the stile, this way.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1287Pray you, give me my gown—or else keep it
FTLNLINEFTLN 128835 in your arms.
SDEnter Page, Shallow,
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 1289How now, Master Parson? Good morrow,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1290 good Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1291 and a good student from his book, and it is
FTLNLINEFTLN 1292 wonderful.
SLENDERSD,
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1294
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1295
FTLNLINEFTLN 1296 you!
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 1297What, the sword and the word? Do you
FTLNLINEFTLN 129845 study them both, Master Parson?
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1299And youthful still—in your doublet and hose
FTLNLINEFTLN 1300 this raw rheumatic day?
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1301There is reasons and causes for it.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1302We are come to you to do a good office, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 130350 Parson.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1304Fery well. What is it?
FTLNLINEFTLN 1306 having received wrong by some person, is at
FTLNLINEFTLN 1307 most odds with his own gravity and patience that
FTLNLINEFTLN 130855 ever you saw.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 1309I have lived fourscore years and upward. I
FTLNLINEFTLN 1310 never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning
FTLNLINEFTLN 1311 so wide of his own respect.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1312What is he?
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 131360I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the
FTLNLINEFTLN 1314 renowned French physician.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1315Got’s will and His passion of my heart! I had
FTLNLINEFTLN 1316 as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1317Why?
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 131865He has no more knowledge in Hibbocrates
FTLNLINEFTLN 1319 and Galen—and he is a knave besides, a cowardly
FTLNLINEFTLN 1320 knave as you would desires to be acquainted
FTLNLINEFTLN 1321 withal.
PAGESD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 132370 fight with him.
SLENDERSD,
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 1325It appears so by his weapons. Keep them
FTLNLINEFTLN 1326 asunder. Here comes Doctor Caius.
SDEnter Host,
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1327Nay, good Master Parson, keep in your weapon.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 132875So do you, good Master Doctor.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 1329Disarm them, and let them question. Let them
FTLNLINEFTLN 1330 keep their limbs whole and hack our English.
SD
DOCTOR CAIUSSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1332 a word with your ear. Verefore vill you not
FTLNLINEFTLN 133380 meet-a me?
SIR HUGHSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1335 SD
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1336By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1337 John ape.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1339 laughing-stocks to other men’s humors. I desire
FTLNLINEFTLN 1340 you in friendship, and I will one way or other
FTLNLINEFTLN 1341 make you amends.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1342 your urinal about your knave’s cogscomb.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 134390Diable! Jack Rugby, mine Host de Jarteer,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1344 have I not stay for him to kill him? Have I not,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1345 at de place I did appoint?
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1346As I am a Christians soul, now look you, this
FTLNLINEFTLN 1347 is the place appointed. I’ll be judgment by mine
FTLNLINEFTLN 134895 Host of the Garter.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 1349Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1350 soul-curer and body-curer!
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1351Ay, dat is very good, excellent.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 1352Peace, I say! Hear mine Host of the Garter. Am
FTLNLINEFTLN 1353100 I politic? Am I subtle? Am I a Machiavel? Shall I
FTLNLINEFTLN 1354 lose my doctor? No, he gives me the potions and
FTLNLINEFTLN 1355 the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my
FTLNLINEFTLN 1356 Sir Hugh? No, he gives me the proverbs and the
FTLNLINEFTLN 1357 no-verbs.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1358105 so.SD (To Sir Hugh.)
FTLNLINEFTLN 1359 so. Boys of art, I have deceived you both. I
FTLNLINEFTLN 1360 have directed you to wrong places. Your hearts are
FTLNLINEFTLN 1361 mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be
FTLNLINEFTLN 1362 the issue.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1363110 swords to pawn.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1364 me,
SD
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 1365
FTLNLINEFTLN 1366 follow.
SLENDERSD,
SD
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1368115Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a
FTLNLINEFTLN 1369 de sot of us, ha, ha?
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1370This is well! He has made us his vloutingstog.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1371 I desire you that we may be friends, and let
FTLNLINEFTLN 1373120 same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the Host of
FTLNLINEFTLN 1374 the Garter.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1375By gar, with all my heart. He promise
FTLNLINEFTLN 1376 to bring me where is Anne Page. By gar, he deceive
FTLNLINEFTLN 1377 me too.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1378125Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1379 follow.
SD
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1380Nay, keep your way, little gallant. You
FTLNLINEFTLN 1381 were wont to be a follower, but now you are a
FTLNLINEFTLN 1382 leader. Whether had you rather—lead mine eyes,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1383 or eye your master’s heels?
ROBIN FTLNLINEFTLN 13845I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man
FTLNLINEFTLN 1385 than follow him like a dwarf.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1386O, you are a flattering boy! Now I see
FTLNLINEFTLN 1387 you’ll be a courtier.
SD
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1388Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 138910Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at
FTLNLINEFTLN 1390 home?
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1391Ay, and as idle as she may hang together, for
FTLNLINEFTLN 1392 want of company. I think if your husbands were
FTLNLINEFTLN 1393 dead, you two would marry.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 139415Be sure of that—two other husbands.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1395Where had you this pretty weathercock?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1396I cannot tell what the dickens his name
FTLNLINEFTLN 1397 is my husband had him of.—What do you call your
FTLNLINEFTLN 1398 knight’s name, sirrah?
ROBIN FTLNLINEFTLN 139920Sir John Falstaff.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1401He, he. I can never hit on ’s name.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1402 There is such a league between my goodman and
FTLNLINEFTLN 1403 he. Is your wife at home indeed?
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 140425Indeed, she is.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1405By your leave, sir. I am sick till I see
FTLNLINEFTLN 1406 her.SD
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1407Has Page any brains? Hath he any eyes? Hath
FTLNLINEFTLN 1408 he any thinking? Sure they sleep; he hath no use
FTLNLINEFTLN 140930 of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty
FTLNLINEFTLN 1410 mile as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank
FTLNLINEFTLN 1411 twelve score. He pieces out his wife’s inclination.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1412 He gives her folly motion and advantage. And now
FTLNLINEFTLN 1413 she’s going to my wife, and Falstaff’s boy with her.
FTLNLINEFTLN 141435 A man may hear this shower sing in the wind. And
FTLNLINEFTLN 1415 Falstaff’s boy with her! Good plots they are laid,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1416 and our revolted wives share damnation together.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1417 Well, I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck
FTLNLINEFTLN 1418 the borrowed veil of modesty from the so-seeming
FTLNLINEFTLN 141940 Mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure
FTLNLINEFTLN 1420 and willful Acteon, and to these violent proceedings
FTLNLINEFTLN 1421 all my neighbors shall cry aim.SD
strikes.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1423 bids me search. There I shall find Falstaff. I
FTLNLINEFTLN 142445 shall be rather praised for this than mocked, for it
FTLNLINEFTLN 1425 is as positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is
FTLNLINEFTLN 1426 there. I will go.
SD
Evans,
SHALLOW, PAGE, ETC. FTLNLINEFTLN 1427Well met, Master Ford.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1428Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer at
FTLNLINEFTLN 142950 home, and I pray you all go with me.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 1430I must excuse myself, Master Ford.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 1431And so must I, sir. We have appointed to dine
FTLNLINEFTLN 1432 with Mistress Anne, and I would not break with
FTLNLINEFTLN 1433 her for more money than I’ll speak of.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1435 Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we
FTLNLINEFTLN 1436 shall have our answer.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 1437I hope I have your good will, Father Page.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1438You have, Master Slender. I stand wholly for
FTLNLINEFTLN 143960 you.—But my wife, Master Doctor, is for you
FTLNLINEFTLN 1440 altogether.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1441Ay, be-gar, and de maid is love-a me! My
FTLNLINEFTLN 1442 nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.
HOSTSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 144465 He capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he
FTLNLINEFTLN 1445 writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April
FTLNLINEFTLN 1446 and May. He will carry ’t, he will carry ’t. ’Tis in his
FTLNLINEFTLN 1447 buttons he will carry ’t.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1448Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman
FTLNLINEFTLN 144970 is of no having. He kept company with the
FTLNLINEFTLN 1450 wild Prince and Poins. He is of too high a region;
FTLNLINEFTLN 1451 he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in
FTLNLINEFTLN 1452 his fortunes with the finger of my substance. If he
FTLNLINEFTLN 1453 take her, let him take her simply. The wealth I have
FTLNLINEFTLN 145475 waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that
FTLNLINEFTLN 1455 way.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1456I beseech you heartily, some of you go home
FTLNLINEFTLN 1457 with me to dinner. Besides your cheer, you shall
FTLNLINEFTLN 1458 have sport: I will show you a monster. Master Doctor,
FTLNLINEFTLN 145980 you shall go.—So shall you, Master Page.—
FTLNLINEFTLN 1460 And you, Sir Hugh.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 1461Well, fare you well. We shall have the freer
FTLNLINEFTLN 1462 wooing at Master Page’s.
SD
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1463Go home, John Rugby. I come anon.
SD
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 146485Farewell, my hearts. I will to my honest knight
FTLNLINEFTLN 1465 Falstaff, and drink canary with him.SD
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1467 with him; I’ll make him dance.—Will you go,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1468 gentles?
FTLNLINEFTLN 1470 see this monster.
SDThey exit.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1471What, John! What, Robert!
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1472Quickly, quickly! Is the buck-basket—
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1473I warrant.—What,
SD
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1474Come, come, come.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 14755Here, set it down.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1476Give your men the charge. We must be
FTLNLINEFTLN 1477 brief.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1478Marry, as I told you before, John and
FTLNLINEFTLN 1479 Robert, be ready here hard by in the brewhouse,
FTLNLINEFTLN 148010 and when I suddenly call you, come forth, and
FTLNLINEFTLN 1481 without any pause or staggering take this basket
FTLNLINEFTLN 1482 on your shoulders. That done, trudge with it in all
FTLNLINEFTLN 1483 haste, and carry it among the whitsters in Datchet
FTLNLINEFTLN 1484 Mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch close
FTLNLINEFTLN 148515 by the Thames side.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1486You will do it?
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1487I ha’ told them over and over. They lack
FTLNLINEFTLN 1488 no direction.—Be gone, and come when you are
FTLNLINEFTLN 1489 called.SD
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 149020Here comes little Robin.
SDEnter Robin.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1491How now, my eyas-musket? What news
FTLNLINEFTLN 1492 with you?
ROBIN FTLNLINEFTLN 1493My master, Sir John, is come in at your back
FTLNLINEFTLN 1494 door, Mistress Ford, and requests your company.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1496 true to us?
ROBIN FTLNLINEFTLN 1497Ay, I’ll be sworn. My master knows not of your
FTLNLINEFTLN 1498 being here and hath threatened to put me into
FTLNLINEFTLN 1499 everlasting liberty if I tell you of it, for he swears
FTLNLINEFTLN 150030 he’ll turn me away.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1501Thou ’rt a good boy. This secrecy of
FTLNLINEFTLN 1502 thine shall be a tailor to thee and shall make thee a
FTLNLINEFTLN 1503 new doublet and hose.—I’ll go hide me.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1504Do so.—Go tell thy master I am alone.
FTLNLINEFTLN 150535 SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1506 cue.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1507I warrant thee. If I do not act it, hiss
FTLNLINEFTLN 1508 me.SD
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1509Go to, then. We’ll use this unwholesome
FTLNLINEFTLN 151040 humidity, this gross-wat’ry pumpion. We’ll
FTLNLINEFTLN 1511 teach him to know turtles from jays.
SDEnter
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1512“Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel?”
FTLNLINEFTLN 1513 Why, now let me die, for I have lived long enough.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1514 This is the period of my ambition. O, this blessèd
FTLNLINEFTLN 151545 hour!
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1516O, sweet Sir John!
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1517Mistress Ford, I cannot cog. I cannot prate,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1518 Mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I would
FTLNLINEFTLN 1519 thy husband were dead. I’ll speak it before the best
FTLNLINEFTLN 152050 lord: I would make thee my lady.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1521I your lady, Sir John? Alas, I should be
FTLNLINEFTLN 1522 a pitiful lady.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1523Let the court of France show me such
FTLNLINEFTLN 1524 another. I see how thine eye would emulate the
FTLNLINEFTLN 152555 diamond. Thou hast the right arched beauty of the
FTLNLINEFTLN 1526 brow that becomes the ship-tire, the tire-valiant,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1527 or any tire of Venetian admittance.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1528A plain kerchief, Sir John. My brows
FTLNLINEFTLN 1529 become nothing else, nor that well neither.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1531 make an absolute courtier, and the firm fixture of
FTLNLINEFTLN 1532 thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait
FTLNLINEFTLN 1533 in a semicircled farthingale. I see what thou wert,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1534 if Fortune thy foe were not, Nature thy friend.
FTLNLINEFTLN 153565 Come, thou canst not hide it.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1536Believe me, there’s no such thing in
FTLNLINEFTLN 1537 me.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1538What made me love thee? Let that persuade
FTLNLINEFTLN 1539 thee. There’s something extraordinary in thee.
FTLNLINEFTLN 154070 Come, I cannot cog and say thou art this and that
FTLNLINEFTLN 1541 like a many of these lisping hawthorn buds that
FTLNLINEFTLN 1542 come like women in men’s apparel and smell like
FTLNLINEFTLN 1543 Bucklersbury in simple time. I cannot. But I love
FTLNLINEFTLN 1544 thee, none but thee; and thou deserv’st it.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 154575Do not betray me, sir. I fear you love
FTLNLINEFTLN 1546 Mistress Page.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1547Thou mightst as well say I love to walk by
FTLNLINEFTLN 1548 the Counter gate, which is as hateful to me as the
FTLNLINEFTLN 1549 reek of a lime-kiln.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 155080Well, heaven knows how I love you,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1551 and you shall one day find it.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1552Keep in that mind. I’ll deserve it.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1553Nay, I must tell you, so you do, or else
FTLNLINEFTLN 1554 I could not be in that mind.
SD
ROBIN FTLNLINEFTLN 155585Mistress Ford, Mistress Ford! Here’s Mistress
FTLNLINEFTLN 1556 Page at the door, sweating and blowing and looking
FTLNLINEFTLN 1557 wildly, and would needs speak with you
FTLNLINEFTLN 1558 presently.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1559She shall not see me. I will ensconce me behind
FTLNLINEFTLN 156090 the arras.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1561Pray you, do so. She’s a very tattling
FTLNLINEFTLN 1562 woman.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1563 What’s the matter? How now?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1564O Mistress Ford, what have you done?
FTLNLINEFTLN 156595 You’re shamed, you’re overthrown, you’re undone
FTLNLINEFTLN 1566 forever!
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1567What’s the matter, good Mistress Page?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1568O well-a-day, Mistress Ford, having an
FTLNLINEFTLN 1569 honest man to your husband, to give him such
FTLNLINEFTLN 1570100 cause of suspicion!
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1571What cause of suspicion?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1572What cause of suspicion? Out upon you!
FTLNLINEFTLN 1573 How am I mistook in you!
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1574Why, alas, what’s the matter?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1575105Your husband’s coming hither, woman,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1576 with all the officers in Windsor, to search for a gentleman
FTLNLINEFTLN 1577 that he says is here now in the house, by
FTLNLINEFTLN 1578 your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1579 You are undone.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1580110’Tis not so, I hope.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1581Pray heaven it be not so, that you have
FTLNLINEFTLN 1582 such a man here! But ’tis most certain your husband’s
FTLNLINEFTLN 1583 coming, with half Windsor at his heels, to
FTLNLINEFTLN 1584 search for such a one. I come before to tell you. If
FTLNLINEFTLN 1585115 you know yourself clear, why, I am glad of it. But if
FTLNLINEFTLN 1586 you have a friend here, convey, convey him out. Be
FTLNLINEFTLN 1587 not amazed! Call all your senses to you; defend
FTLNLINEFTLN 1588 your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life
FTLNLINEFTLN 1589 forever.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1590120What shall I do? There is a gentleman,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1591 my dear friend; and I fear not mine own shame so
FTLNLINEFTLN 1592 much as his peril. I had rather than a thousand
FTLNLINEFTLN 1593 pound he were out of the house.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1594For shame! Never stand “you had
FTLNLINEFTLN 1595125 rather” and “you had rather.” Your husband’s here
FTLNLINEFTLN 1596 at hand. Bethink you of some conveyance. In the
FTLNLINEFTLN 1598 me! Look, here is a basket. If he be of any
FTLNLINEFTLN 1599 reasonable stature, he may creep in here; and
FTLNLINEFTLN 1600130 throw foul linen upon him, as if it were going to
FTLNLINEFTLN 1601 bucking. Or—it is whiting time—send him by your
FTLNLINEFTLN 1602 two men to Datchet Mead.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1603He’s too big to go in there. What shall I
FTLNLINEFTLN 1604 do?SD
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1605135Let me see ’t, let me see ’t! O, let me see ’t! I’ll
FTLNLINEFTLN 1606 in, I’ll in. Follow your friend’s counsel. I’ll in.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1607What, Sir John Falstaff?SD
him.)
FALSTAFFSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1610140 away. Let me creep in here. I’ll never—
SD
him with dirty clothes.
MISTRESS PAGESD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1612 boy.—Call your men, Mistress Ford.—You dissembling
FTLNLINEFTLN 1613 knight!SD
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1614What, John! Robert! John!
SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1615145 Go, take up these clothes here quickly. Where’s the
FTLNLINEFTLN 1616 cowlstaff? Look how you drumble! Carry them to
FTLNLINEFTLN 1617 the laundress in Datchet Mead. Quickly! Come.
SDEnter Ford, Page,
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1618Pray you, come near. If I suspect without cause,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1619 why then make sport at me. Then let me be your
FTLNLINEFTLN 1620150 jest; I deserve it.—How now? Whither bear you
FTLNLINEFTLN 1621 this?
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1623Why, what have you to do whither they
FTLNLINEFTLN 1624 bear it? You were best meddle with buck-washing!
FTLNLINEFTLN 1626 Buck, buck, buck! Ay, buck! I warrant you, buck,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1627 and of the season too, it shall appear.
SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1628 Gentlemen, I have dreamed tonight; I’ll tell you my
FTLNLINEFTLN 1629 dream. Here, here, here be my keys. Ascend my
FTLNLINEFTLN 1630160 chambers. Search, seek, find out. I’ll warrant we’ll
FTLNLINEFTLN 1631 unkennel the fox. Let me stop this way first.SD
locks the door.)
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1633Good Master Ford, be contented. You wrong
FTLNLINEFTLN 1634 yourself too much.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1635165True, Master Page.—Up, gentlemen. You shall
FTLNLINEFTLN 1636 see sport anon. Follow me, gentlemen.SD
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1637This is fery fantastical humors and
FTLNLINEFTLN 1638 jealousies.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1639By gar, ’tis no the fashion of France. It is
FTLNLINEFTLN 1640170 not jealous in France.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1641Nay, follow him, gentlemen. See the issue of his
FTLNLINEFTLN 1642 search.SD
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1643Is there not a double excellency in this?
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1644I know not which pleases me better—
FTLNLINEFTLN 1645175 that my husband is deceived, or Sir John.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1646What a taking was he in when your
FTLNLINEFTLN 1647 husband asked who was in the basket!
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1648I am half afraid he will have need of
FTLNLINEFTLN 1649 washing, so throwing him into the water will do
FTLNLINEFTLN 1650180 him a benefit.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1651Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all
FTLNLINEFTLN 1652 of the same strain were in the same distress.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1653I think my husband hath some special
FTLNLINEFTLN 1654 suspicion of Falstaff’s being here, for I never saw
FTLNLINEFTLN 1655185 him so gross in his jealousy till now.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1656I will lay a plot to try that, and we will
FTLNLINEFTLN 1657 yet have more tricks with Falstaff. His dissolute
FTLNLINEFTLN 1658 disease will scarce obey this medicine.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1659Shall we send that foolish carrion Mistress
FTLNLINEFTLN 1661 the water, and give him another hope, to betray
FTLNLINEFTLN 1662 him to another punishment?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1663We will do it. Let him be sent for tomorrow
FTLNLINEFTLN 1664 eight o’clock to have amends.
SD
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1665195I cannot find him. Maybe the knave bragged of
FTLNLINEFTLN 1666 that he could not compass.
MISTRESS PAGESD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1668 that?
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1669You use me well, Master Ford, do you?
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1670200Ay, I do so.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1671Heaven make you better than your
FTLNLINEFTLN 1672 thoughts!
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1673Amen!
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1674You do yourself mighty wrong, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1675205 Ford.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1676Ay, ay. I must bear it.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1677If there be anypody in the house, and in the
FTLNLINEFTLN 1678 chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1679 heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgment!
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1680210Be gar, nor I too. There is nobodies.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1681Fie, fie, Master Ford, are you not ashamed?
FTLNLINEFTLN 1682 What spirit, what devil suggests this imagination?
FTLNLINEFTLN 1683 I would not ha’ your distemper in this kind for the
FTLNLINEFTLN 1684 wealth of Windsor Castle.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1685215’Tis my fault, Master Page. I suffer for it.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1686You suffer for a pad conscience. Your wife is
FTLNLINEFTLN 1687 as honest a ’omans as I will desires among five
FTLNLINEFTLN 1688 thousand, and five hundred too.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1689By gar, I see ’tis an honest woman.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1690220Well, I promised you a dinner. Come, come,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1691 walk in the park. I pray you, pardon me. I will
FTLNLINEFTLN 1692 hereafter make known to you why I have done
FTLNLINEFTLN 1694 you, pardon me. Pray, heartily, pardon me.
SD
PAGESD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1696 But, trust me, we’ll mock him.SD
and Sir Hugh.)
FTLNLINEFTLN 1698 to my house to breakfast. After, we’ll a-birding together;
FTLNLINEFTLN 1699 I have a fine hawk for the bush. Shall it be
FTLNLINEFTLN 1700230 so?
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1701Anything.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1702If there is one, I shall make two in the
FTLNLINEFTLN 1703 company.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1704If there be one or two, I shall make-a the
FTLNLINEFTLN 1705235 turd.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1706Pray you, go, Master Page.
SD
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1707I pray you now, remembrance tomorrow on
FTLNLINEFTLN 1708 the lousy knave mine Host.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 1709Dat is good, by gar, with all my heart.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1710240A lousy knave, to have his gibes and his
FTLNLINEFTLN 1711 mockeries!
SDThey exit.
FENTON
FTLNLINEFTLN 1712 I see I cannot get thy father’s love;
FTLNLINEFTLN 1713 Therefore no more turn me to him, sweet Nan.
ANNE
FTLNLINEFTLN 1714 Alas, how then?
FENTON FTLNLINEFTLN 1715 Why, thou must be thyself.
FTLNLINEFTLN 17165 He doth object I am too great of birth,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1717 And that, my state being galled with my expense,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1718 I seek to heal it only by his wealth.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1720 My riots past, my wild societies—
FTLNLINEFTLN 172110 And tells me ’tis a thing impossible
FTLNLINEFTLN 1722 I should love thee but as a property.
ANNE FTLNLINEFTLN 1723Maybe he tells you true.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1724 No, heaven so speed me in my time to come!
FTLNLINEFTLN 1725 Albeit I will confess thy father’s wealth
FTLNLINEFTLN 172615 Was the first motive that I wooed thee, Anne,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1727 Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value
FTLNLINEFTLN 1728 Than stamps in gold or sums in sealèd bags.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1729 And ’tis the very riches of thyself
FTLNLINEFTLN 1730 That now I aim at.
ANNE FTLNLINEFTLN 173120 Gentle Master Fenton,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1732 Yet seek my father’s love, still seek it, sir.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1733 If opportunity and humblest suit
FTLNLINEFTLN 1734 Cannot attain it, why then—hark you hither.
SD
SDEnter Shallow, Slender,
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 1735Break their talk, Mistress Quickly. My kinsman
FTLNLINEFTLN 173625 shall speak for himself.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 1737I’ll make a shaft or a bolt on ’t. ’Slid, ’tis but
FTLNLINEFTLN 1738 venturing.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 1739Be not dismayed.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 1740No, she shall not dismay me. I care not for
FTLNLINEFTLN 174130 that, but that I am afeard.
MISTRESS QUICKLYSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1743 would speak a word with you.
ANNE
FTLNLINEFTLN 1744 I come to him.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1745 O, what a world of vile ill-favored faults
FTLNLINEFTLN 174635 Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a year!
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 1747And how does good Master Fenton?
FTLNLINEFTLN 1748 Pray you, a word with you.SD
SHALLOWSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1750 boy, thou hadst a father!
FTLNLINEFTLN 1752 tell you good jests of him.—Pray you, uncle, tell
FTLNLINEFTLN 1753 Mistress Anne the jest how my father stole two
FTLNLINEFTLN 1754 geese out of a pen, good uncle.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 1755Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 175645Ay, that I do, as well as I love any woman in
FTLNLINEFTLN 1757 Gloucestershire.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 1758He will maintain you like a gentlewoman.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 1759Ay, that I will, come cut and longtail, under
FTLNLINEFTLN 1760 the degree of a squire.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 176150He will make you a hundred and fifty
FTLNLINEFTLN 1762 pounds jointure.
ANNE FTLNLINEFTLN 1763Good Master Shallow, let him woo for himself.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 1764Marry, I thank you for it. I thank you for that
FTLNLINEFTLN 1765 good comfort.—She calls you, coz. I’ll leave you.
SD
ANNE FTLNLINEFTLN 176655Now, Master Slender.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 1767Now, good Mistress Anne.
ANNE FTLNLINEFTLN 1768What is your will?
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 1769My will? ’Od’s heartlings, that’s a pretty jest
FTLNLINEFTLN 1770 indeed! I ne’er made my will yet, I thank heaven. I
FTLNLINEFTLN 177160 am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.
ANNE FTLNLINEFTLN 1772I mean, Master Slender, what would you with
FTLNLINEFTLN 1773 me?
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 1774Truly, for mine own part, I would little or
FTLNLINEFTLN 1775 nothing with you. Your father and my uncle hath
FTLNLINEFTLN 177665 made motions. If it be my luck, so; if not, happy
FTLNLINEFTLN 1777 man be his dole. They can tell you how things go
FTLNLINEFTLN 1778 better than I can. You may ask your father.
SDEnter Page
FTLNLINEFTLN 1779 Here he comes.
PAGE
FTLNLINEFTLN 1780 Now, Master Slender.—Love him, daughter Anne.—
FTLNLINEFTLN 178170 Why, how now? What does Master Fenton here?
FTLNLINEFTLN 1783 I told you, sir, my daughter is disposed of.
FENTON
FTLNLINEFTLN 1784 Nay, Master Page, be not impatient.
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLNLINEFTLN 1785 Good Master Fenton, come not to my child.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 178675She is no match for you.
FENTON FTLNLINEFTLN 1787Sir, will you hear me?
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1788No, good Master Fenton.—
FTLNLINEFTLN 1789 Come Master Shallow.—Come, son Slender, in.—
FTLNLINEFTLN 1790 Knowing my mind, you wrong me, Master Fenton.
SD
MISTRESS QUICKLYSD,
FENTON
FTLNLINEFTLN 1792 Good Mistress Page, for that I love your daughter
FTLNLINEFTLN 1793 In such a righteous fashion as I do,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1794 Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manners,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1795 I must advance the colors of my love
FTLNLINEFTLN 179685 And not retire. Let me have your good will.
ANNE
FTLNLINEFTLN 1797 Good mother, do not marry me to yond fool.
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLNLINEFTLN 1798 I mean it not; I seek you a better husband.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 1799That’s my master, Master Doctor.
ANNE
FTLNLINEFTLN 1800 Alas, I had rather be set quick i’ th’ earth
FTLNLINEFTLN 180190 And bowled to death with turnips!
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLNLINEFTLN 1802 Come, trouble not yourself.—Good Master Fenton,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1803 I will not be your friend nor enemy.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1804 My daughter will I question how she loves you,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1805 And as I find her, so am I affected.
FTLNLINEFTLN 180695 Till then, farewell, sir. She must needs go in;
FTLNLINEFTLN 1807 Her father will be angry.
FENTON
FTLNLINEFTLN 1808 Farewell, gentle mistress.—Farewell, Nan.
SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1810 “will you cast away your child on a fool and a
FTLNLINEFTLN 1811100 physician? Look on Master Fenton.” This is my
FTLNLINEFTLN 1812 doing.
FENTON
FTLNLINEFTLN 1813 I thank thee; and I pray thee, once tonight
FTLNLINEFTLN 1814 Give my sweet Nan this ring. There’s for thy pains.
SD
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 1815Now heaven send thee good fortune.
SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1816105 A kind heart he hath. A woman would run through
FTLNLINEFTLN 1817 fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet I
FTLNLINEFTLN 1818 would my master had Mistress Anne, or I would
FTLNLINEFTLN 1819 Master Slender had her, or, in sooth, I would Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1820 Fenton had her. I will do what I can for them all
FTLNLINEFTLN 1821110 three; for so I have promised and I’ll be as good as
FTLNLINEFTLN 1822 my word—but speciously for Master Fenton. Well,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1823 I must of another errand to Sir John Falstaff from
FTLNLINEFTLN 1824 my two mistresses. What a beast am I to slack it!
SD
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1825Bardolph, I say!
SDEnter Bardolph.
BARDOLPH FTLNLINEFTLN 1826Here, sir.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1827Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in ’t.
SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1828 Have I lived to be carried in a basket like a barrow
FTLNLINEFTLN 18295 of butcher’s offal, and to be thrown in the Thames?
FTLNLINEFTLN 1830 Well, if I be served such another trick, I’ll have my
FTLNLINEFTLN 1831 brains ta’en out and buttered, and give them to a
FTLNLINEFTLN 1832 dog for a New Year’s gift.
FTLNLINEFTLN 183410 they would have drowned a blind bitch’s puppies,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1835 fifteen i’ th’ litter! And you may know by my size
FTLNLINEFTLN 1836 that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the bottom
FTLNLINEFTLN 1837 were as deep as hell, I should down. I had
FTLNLINEFTLN 1838 been drowned, but that the shore was shelvy and
FTLNLINEFTLN 183915 shallow—a death that I abhor, for the water swells
FTLNLINEFTLN 1840 a man, and what a thing should I have been when
FTLNLINEFTLN 1841 I had been swelled!
FTLNLINEFTLN 1842 been a mountain of mummy.
SD
BARDOLPH FTLNLINEFTLN 1843Here’s Mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with
FTLNLINEFTLN 184420 you.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1845Come, let me pour in some sack to the
FTLNLINEFTLN 1846 Thames water, for my belly’s as cold as if I had
FTLNLINEFTLN 1847 swallowed snowballs for pills to cool the reins.SD
drinks.
BARDOLPH FTLNLINEFTLN 184925Come in, woman.
SDEnter
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 1850By your leave, I cry you mercy. Give
FTLNLINEFTLN 1851 your Worship good morrow.
FALSTAFFSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1853 brew me a pottle of sack finely.
BARDOLPH FTLNLINEFTLN 185430With eggs, sir?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1855Simple of itself. I’ll no pullet sperm in my
FTLNLINEFTLN 1856 brewage.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 1857 How now?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 1858Marry, sir, I come to your Worship
FTLNLINEFTLN 185935 from Mistress Ford.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1860Mistress Ford? I have had ford enough. I
FTLNLINEFTLN 1861 was thrown into the ford, I have my belly full of
FTLNLINEFTLN 1862 ford.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 1863Alas the day, good heart, that was
FTLNLINEFTLN 186440 not her fault. She does so take on with her men;
FTLNLINEFTLN 1865 they mistook their erection.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1867 woman’s promise.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 1868Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it
FTLNLINEFTLN 186945 would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes
FTLNLINEFTLN 1870 this morning a-birding; she desires you once more
FTLNLINEFTLN 1871 to come to her, between eight and nine. I must
FTLNLINEFTLN 1872 carry her word quickly. She’ll make you amends, I
FTLNLINEFTLN 1873 warrant you.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 187450Well, I will visit her. Tell her so. And bid her
FTLNLINEFTLN 1875 think what a man is. Let her consider his frailty,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1876 and then judge of my merit.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 1877I will tell her.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1878Do so. Between nine and ten, say’st thou?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 187955Eight and nine, sir.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1880Well, be gone. I will not miss her.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 1881Peace be with you, sir.
SD
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1882I marvel I hear not of Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1883 sent me word to stay within. I like his money well.
SDEnter Ford
FTLNLINEFTLN 188460 O, here
FORDSD,
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1886Now, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1887 what hath passed between me and Ford’s wife.
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 188965 business.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1890Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1891 her house the hour she appointed me.
FORDSD,
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1893Very ill-favoredly, Master
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1895 determination?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1896No, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1897 her husband, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1898 ’larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of
FTLNLINEFTLN 1900 protested, and, as it were, spoke the prologue of
FTLNLINEFTLN 1901 our comedy, and, at his heels, a rabble of his companions,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1902 thither provoked and instigated by his
FTLNLINEFTLN 1903 distemper, and, forsooth, to search his house for
FTLNLINEFTLN 190480 his wife’s love.
FORDSD,
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1906While I was there.
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1908 not find you?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 190985You shall hear. As good luck would have it,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1910 comes in one Mistress Page, gives intelligence of
FTLNLINEFTLN 1911 Ford’s approach, and, in her invention and Ford’s
FTLNLINEFTLN 1912 wife’s distraction, they conveyed me into a
FTLNLINEFTLN 1913 buck-basket.
FORDSD,
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1915
FTLNLINEFTLN 1916 in with foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1917 greasy napkins, that, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1918 was the rankest compound of villainous smell that
FTLNLINEFTLN 191995 ever offended nostril.
FORDSD,
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1921Nay, you shall hear, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1922 have suffered to bring this woman to evil for your
FTLNLINEFTLN 1923 good. Being thus crammed in the basket, a couple
FTLNLINEFTLN 1924100 of Ford’s knaves, his hinds, were called forth by
FTLNLINEFTLN 1925 their mistress to carry me in the name of foul
FTLNLINEFTLN 1926 clothes to Datchet Lane. They took me on their
FTLNLINEFTLN 1927 shoulders, met the jealous knave their master in
FTLNLINEFTLN 1928 the door, who asked them once or twice what they
FTLNLINEFTLN 1929105 had in their basket. I quaked for fear lest the lunatic
FTLNLINEFTLN 1930 knave would have searched it, but fate, ordaining
FTLNLINEFTLN 1931 he should be a cuckold, held his hand.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1932 Well, on went he for a search, and away went I for
FTLNLINEFTLN 1933 foul clothes. But mark the sequel, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1934110 I suffered the pangs of three several deaths: first,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1936 rotten bellwether; next, to be compassed, like a
FTLNLINEFTLN 1937 good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to
FTLNLINEFTLN 1938 point, heel to head; and then, to be stopped in, like
FTLNLINEFTLN 1939115 a strong distillation, with stinking clothes that fretted
FTLNLINEFTLN 1940 in their own grease. Think of that, a man of my
FTLNLINEFTLN 1941 kidney—think of that—that am as subject to heat
FTLNLINEFTLN 1942 as butter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1943 It was a miracle to ’scape suffocation. And in
FTLNLINEFTLN 1944120 the height of this bath, when I was more than half-stewed
FTLNLINEFTLN 1945 in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown
FTLNLINEFTLN 1946 into the Thames and cooled, glowing hot, in that
FTLNLINEFTLN 1947 surge, like a horseshoe! Think of that—hissing
FTLNLINEFTLN 1948 hot—think of that, Master
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1950 for my sake you have suffered all this. My suit,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1951 then, is desperate. You’ll undertake her no more?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1952Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1953 as I have been into Thames, ere I will leave her
FTLNLINEFTLN 1954130 thus. Her husband is this morning gone a-birding.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1955 I have received from her another embassy of meeting.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1956 ’Twixt eight and nine is the hour, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1957
FORDSD,
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 1959135Is it? I will then address me to my appointment.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1960 Come to me at your convenient leisure,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1961 and you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion
FTLNLINEFTLN 1962 shall be crowned with your enjoying her.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1963 Adieu. You shall have her, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1964140
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 1965Hum! Ha! Is this a vision? Is this a dream? Do I
FTLNLINEFTLN 1966 sleep? Master Ford, awake! Awake, Master Ford!
FTLNLINEFTLN 1967 There’s a hole made in your best coat, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 1968 Ford. This ’tis to be married; this ’tis to have linen
FTLNLINEFTLN 1969145 and buck-baskets! Well, I will proclaim myself
FTLNLINEFTLN 1970 what I am. I will now take the lecher. He is at my
FTLNLINEFTLN 1972 should. He cannot creep into a half-penny purse,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1973 nor into a pepper-box. But lest the devil that
FTLNLINEFTLN 1974150 guides him should aid him, I will search impossible
FTLNLINEFTLN 1975 places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to
FTLNLINEFTLN 1976 be what I would not shall not make me tame. If I
FTLNLINEFTLN 1977 have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go
FTLNLINEFTLN 1978 with me: I’ll be horn-mad.
SD
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1979Is he at Master Ford’s already, think’st
FTLNLINEFTLN 1980 thou?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 1981Sure he is by this, or will be presently.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1982 But truly he is very courageous mad about
FTLNLINEFTLN 19835 his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires
FTLNLINEFTLN 1984 you to come suddenly.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1985I’ll be with her by and by. I’ll but bring
FTLNLINEFTLN 1986 my young man here to school.
SDEnter
FTLNLINEFTLN 1987 Look where his master comes. ’Tis a playing day, I
FTLNLINEFTLN 198810 see.—How now, Sir Hugh, no school today?
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1989No. Master Slender is let the boys leave to
FTLNLINEFTLN 1990 play.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 1991Blessing of his heart!
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1992Sir Hugh, my husband says my son
FTLNLINEFTLN 199315 profits nothing in the world at his book. I pray you,
FTLNLINEFTLN 1994 ask him some questions in his accidence.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1995Come hither, William. Hold up your head.
FTLNLINEFTLN 1996 Come.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 1997Come on, sirrah. Hold up your head.
FTLNLINEFTLN 199820 Answer your master. Be not afraid.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 1999William, how many numbers is in nouns?
WILLIAM FTLNLINEFTLN 2000Two.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2002 number more, because they say “’Od’s nouns.”
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 200325Peace your tattlings!—What is “fair,”
FTLNLINEFTLN 2004 William?
WILLIAM FTLNLINEFTLN 2005Pulcher.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 2006Polecats? There are fairer things
FTLNLINEFTLN 2007 than polecats, sure.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 200830You are a very simplicity ’oman. I pray you,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2009 peace.—What is lapis, William?
WILLIAM FTLNLINEFTLN 2010A stone.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2011And what is “a stone,” William?
WILLIAM FTLNLINEFTLN 2012A pebble.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 201335No. It is lapis. I pray you, remember in your
FTLNLINEFTLN 2014 prain.
WILLIAM FTLNLINEFTLN 2015Lapis.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2016That is a good William. What is he, William,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2017 that does lend articles?
WILLIAM FTLNLINEFTLN 201840Articles are borrowed of the pronoun and be
FTLNLINEFTLN 2019 thus declined: singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2020 hoc.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2021Nominativo, hig, haeg, hog. Pray you, mark:
FTLNLINEFTLN 2022 genitivo, huius. Well, what is your accusative case?
WILLIAM FTLNLINEFTLN 202345Accusativo, hinc.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2024I pray you, have your remembrance, child.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2025 Accusativo,
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 2026“Hang-hog” is Latin for bacon, I
FTLNLINEFTLN 2027 warrant you.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 202850Leave your prabbles, ’oman.—What is the
FTLNLINEFTLN 2029 focative case, William?
WILLIAM FTLNLINEFTLN 2030O—vocativo—O—
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2031Remember, William, focative is caret.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 2032And that’s a good root.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 203355’Oman, forbear.
MISTRESS PAGESD,
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2035What is your genitive case plural, William?
WILLIAM FTLNLINEFTLN 2036Genitive case?
WILLIAM FTLNLINEFTLN 203860Genitive: horum, harum, horum.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 2039Vengeance of Ginny’s case! Fie on
FTLNLINEFTLN 2040 her! Never name her, child, if she be a whore.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2041For shame, ’oman!
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 2042You do ill to teach the child such
FTLNLINEFTLN 204365 words.—He teaches him to hick and to hack,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2044 which they’ll do fast enough of themselves, and to
FTLNLINEFTLN 2045 call “whorum.”—Fie upon you!
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2046’Oman, art thou lunatics? Hast thou no understandings
FTLNLINEFTLN 2047 for thy cases and the numbers of the
FTLNLINEFTLN 204870 genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as
FTLNLINEFTLN 2049 I would desires.
MISTRESS PAGESD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2051 peace.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2052Show me now, William, some declensions of
FTLNLINEFTLN 205375 your pronouns.
WILLIAM FTLNLINEFTLN 2054Forsooth, I have forgot.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2055It is qui, quae, quod. If you forget your qui’s,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2056 your quae’s, and your quod’s, you must be
FTLNLINEFTLN 2057 preeches. Go your ways and play, go.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 205880He is a better scholar than I thought he
FTLNLINEFTLN 2059 was.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2060He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress
FTLNLINEFTLN 2061 Page.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2062Adieu, good Sir Hugh.—Get you home,
FTLNLINEFTLN 206385 boy.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 2064 long.
SDThey exit.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2065Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up
FTLNLINEFTLN 2066 my sufferance. I see you are obsequious in your
FTLNLINEFTLN 2067 love, and I profess requital to a hair’s breadth, not
FTLNLINEFTLN 20695 but in all the accoutrement, compliment, and ceremony
FTLNLINEFTLN 2070 of it. But are you sure of your husband now?
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2071He’s a-birding, sweet Sir John.
MISTRESS PAGESD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2073 ho!
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 207410Step into th’ chamber, Sir John.
SD
SDEnter Mistress Page.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2075How now, sweetheart, who’s at home
FTLNLINEFTLN 2076 besides yourself?
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2077Why, none but mine own people.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2078Indeed?
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 207915No, certainly.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 2080 louder.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2081Truly, I am so glad you have nobody
FTLNLINEFTLN 2082 here.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2083Why?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 208420Why, woman, your husband is in his
FTLNLINEFTLN 2085 old
FTLNLINEFTLN 2086 husband, so rails against all married mankind, so
FTLNLINEFTLN 2087 curses all Eve’s daughters of what complexion soever,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2088 and so buffets himself on the forehead, crying
FTLNLINEFTLN 208925 “Peer out, peer out!” that any madness I ever yet
FTLNLINEFTLN 2090 beheld seemed but tameness, civility, and patience
FTLNLINEFTLN 2091 to this his distemper he is in now. I am glad the fat
FTLNLINEFTLN 2092 knight is not here.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2093Why, does he talk of him?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 209430Of none but him, and swears he was
FTLNLINEFTLN 2095 carried out, the last time he searched for him, in a
FTLNLINEFTLN 2096 basket; protests to my husband he is now here;
FTLNLINEFTLN 2097 and hath drawn him and the rest of their company
FTLNLINEFTLN 2098 from their sport to make another experiment of
FTLNLINEFTLN 209935 his suspicion. But I am glad the knight is not here.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2100 Now he shall see his own foolery.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2102Hard by, at street end. He will be here
FTLNLINEFTLN 2103 anon.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 210440I am undone! The knight is here.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2105Why then, you are utterly shamed, and
FTLNLINEFTLN 2106 he’s but a dead man. What a woman are you! Away
FTLNLINEFTLN 2107 with him, away with him! Better shame than
FTLNLINEFTLN 2108 murder.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 210945Which way should he go? How should
FTLNLINEFTLN 2110 I bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket
FTLNLINEFTLN 2111 again?
SD
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2112No, I’ll come no more i’ th’ basket. May I not
FTLNLINEFTLN 2113 go out ere he come?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 211450Alas, three of Master Ford’s brothers
FTLNLINEFTLN 2115 watch the door with pistols, that none shall issue
FTLNLINEFTLN 2116 out. Otherwise you might slip away ere he came.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2117 But what make you here?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2118What shall I do? I’ll creep up into the
FTLNLINEFTLN 211955 chimney.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2120There they always use to discharge
FTLNLINEFTLN 2121 their birding pieces.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2123Where is it?
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 212460He will seek there, on my word. Neither
FTLNLINEFTLN 2125 press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he
FTLNLINEFTLN 2126 hath an abstract for the remembrance of such
FTLNLINEFTLN 2127 places, and goes to them by his note. There is no
FTLNLINEFTLN 2128 hiding you in the house.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 212965I’ll go out, then.
MISTRESS
FTLNLINEFTLN 2131 you die, Sir John—unless you go out disguised.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2132How might we disguise him?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2133Alas the day, I know not. There is no
FTLNLINEFTLN 213470 woman’s gown big enough for him; otherwise he
FTLNLINEFTLN 2136 so escape.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2137Good hearts, devise something. Any extremity
FTLNLINEFTLN 2138 rather than a mischief.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 213975My maid’s aunt, the fat woman of
FTLNLINEFTLN 2140 Brentford, has a gown above.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2141On my word, it will serve him. She’s as
FTLNLINEFTLN 2142 big as he is. And there’s her thrummed hat and her
FTLNLINEFTLN 2143 muffler too.—Run up, Sir John.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 214480Go, go, sweet Sir John. Mistress Page
FTLNLINEFTLN 2145 and I will look some linen for your head.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2146Quick, quick! We’ll come dress you
FTLNLINEFTLN 2147 straight. Put on the gown the while.
SD
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2148I would my husband would meet him
FTLNLINEFTLN 214985 in this shape. He cannot abide the old woman of
FTLNLINEFTLN 2150 Brentford. He swears she’s a witch, forbade her my
FTLNLINEFTLN 2151 house, and hath threatened to beat her.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2152Heaven guide him to thy husband’s
FTLNLINEFTLN 2153 cudgel, and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards!
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 215490But is my husband coming?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2155Ay, in good sadness is he, and talks of
FTLNLINEFTLN 2156 the basket too, howsoever he hath had
FTLNLINEFTLN 2157 intelligence.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2158We’ll try that; for I’ll appoint my men
FTLNLINEFTLN 215995 to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door
FTLNLINEFTLN 2160 with it as they did last time.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2161Nay, but he’ll be here presently. Let’s go
FTLNLINEFTLN 2162 dress him like the witch of Brentford.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2163I’ll first direct my men what they shall
FTLNLINEFTLN 2164100 do with the basket. Go up. I’ll bring linen for him
FTLNLINEFTLN 2165 straight.SD
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2166Hang him, dishonest varlet! We cannot
FTLNLINEFTLN 2167 misuse
FTLNLINEFTLN 2168 We’ll leave a proof, by that which we will do,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2169105 Wives may be merry and yet honest too.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2171 ’Tis old but true: “Still swine eats all the draff.”
SD
SD
who bring the buck-basket.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2172Go, sirs, take the basket again on your
FTLNLINEFTLN 2173 shoulders. Your master is hard at door. If he bid
FTLNLINEFTLN 2174110 you set it down, obey him. Quickly, dispatch.
SD
SD
SDEnter Ford, Page,
Evans,
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2178Ay, but if it prove true, Master Page, have you
FTLNLINEFTLN 2179115 any way then to unfool me again?—Set down the
FTLNLINEFTLN 2180 basket, villain.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 2181 call my wife. Youth in a basket! O, you panderly
FTLNLINEFTLN 2182 rascals! There’s a knot, a
FTLNLINEFTLN 2183 conspiracy against me. Now shall the devil be
FTLNLINEFTLN 2184120 shamed.—What, wife, I say! Come, come forth!
FTLNLINEFTLN 2185 Behold what honest clothes you send forth to
FTLNLINEFTLN 2186 bleaching!
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2187Why, this passes, Master Ford! You are not to go
FTLNLINEFTLN 2188 loose any longer; you must be pinioned.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2189125Why, this is lunatics. This is mad as a mad
FTLNLINEFTLN 2190 dog.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 2191Indeed, Master Ford, this is not well, indeed.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2192So say I too, sir.
SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 2193 Come hither, Mistress Ford.—Mistress Ford, the
FTLNLINEFTLN 2194130 honest woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2196 suspect without cause, mistress, do I?
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2197Heaven be my witness you do, if you
FTLNLINEFTLN 2198 suspect me in any dishonesty.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2199135Well said, brazen-face. Hold it out.—Come
FTLNLINEFTLN 2200 forth, sirrah.SD
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2201This passes.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2202Are you not ashamed? Let the clothes
FTLNLINEFTLN 2203 alone.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2204140I shall find you anon.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2205’Tis unreasonable. Will you take up your
FTLNLINEFTLN 2206 wife’s clothes? Come, away.
FORDSD,
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2208Why, man, why?
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2209145Master Page, as I am a man, there was one conveyed
FTLNLINEFTLN 2210 out of my house yesterday in this basket.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2211 Why may not he be there again? In my house I am
FTLNLINEFTLN 2212 sure he is. My intelligence is true, my jealousy is
FTLNLINEFTLN 2213 reasonable.—Pluck me out all the linen.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2214150If you find a man there, he shall die a
FTLNLINEFTLN 2215 flea’s death.SD
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2216Here’s no man.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 2217By my fidelity, this is not well, Master Ford.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2218 This wrongs you.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2219155Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow
FTLNLINEFTLN 2220 the imaginations of your own heart. This is
FTLNLINEFTLN 2221 jealousies.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2222Well, he’s not here I seek for.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2223No, nor nowhere else but in your brain.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2224160Help to search my house this one time. If I find
FTLNLINEFTLN 2225 not what I seek, show no color for my extremity.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2226 Let me forever be your table-sport. Let them say of
FTLNLINEFTLN 2227 me “As jealous as Ford, that searched a hollow
FTLNLINEFTLN 2228 walnut for his wife’s leman.” Satisfy me once
FTLNLINEFTLN 2229165 more. Once more search with me.
SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 2231 Page! Come you and the old woman down. My
FTLNLINEFTLN 2232 husband will come into the chamber.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2233“Old woman”? What old woman’s that?
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2234170Why, it is my maid’s aunt of Brentford.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2235A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have
FTLNLINEFTLN 2236 I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2237 does she? We are simple men; we do not know
FTLNLINEFTLN 2238 what’s brought to pass under the profession of
FTLNLINEFTLN 2239175 fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by
FTLNLINEFTLN 2240 th’ figure, and such daubery as this is, beyond our
FTLNLINEFTLN 2241 element. We know nothing.— Come down, you
FTLNLINEFTLN 2242 witch, you hag, you! Come down, I say!
SD
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2243Nay, good sweet husband!—Good gentlemen,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2244180 let him
SD
as an old woman.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2245Come, Mother Pratt; come, give me
FTLNLINEFTLN 2246 your hand.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2247I’ll pratt her.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 2248 door, you witch, you rag, you baggage, you polecat,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2249185 you runnion! Out, out! I’ll conjure you, I’ll
FTLNLINEFTLN 2250 fortune-tell you!SD
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2251Are you not ashamed? I think you have
FTLNLINEFTLN 2252 killed the poor woman.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2253Nay, he will do it.—’Tis a goodly credit
FTLNLINEFTLN 2254190 for you.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2255Hang her, witch!
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2256By yea and no, I think the ’oman is a witch
FTLNLINEFTLN 2257 indeed. I like not when a ’oman has a great peard.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2258 I spy a great peard under
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2259195Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, follow.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2260 See but the issue of my jealousy. If I cry out
FTLNLINEFTLN 2261 thus upon no trail, never trust me when I open
FTLNLINEFTLN 2262 again.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2264200 gentlemen.
SD
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2265Trust me, he beat him most pitifully.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2266Nay, by th’ Mass, that he did not; he
FTLNLINEFTLN 2267 beat him most unpitifully, methought.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2268I’ll have the cudgel hallowed and hung
FTLNLINEFTLN 2269205 o’er the altar. It hath done meritorious service.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2270What think you? May we, with the
FTLNLINEFTLN 2271 warrant of womanhood and the witness of a good
FTLNLINEFTLN 2272 conscience, pursue him with any further revenge?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2273The spirit of wantonness is, sure,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2274210 scared out of him. If the devil have him not in fee
FTLNLINEFTLN 2275 simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I
FTLNLINEFTLN 2276 think, in the way of waste, attempt us again.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2277Shall we tell our husbands how we
FTLNLINEFTLN 2278 have served him?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2279215Yes, by all means—if it be but to scrape
FTLNLINEFTLN 2280 the figures out of your husband’s brains. If they
FTLNLINEFTLN 2281 can find in their hearts the poor unvirtuous fat
FTLNLINEFTLN 2282 knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will
FTLNLINEFTLN 2283 still be the ministers.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2284220I’ll warrant they’ll have him publicly
FTLNLINEFTLN 2285 shamed, and methinks there would be no period to
FTLNLINEFTLN 2286 the jest should he not be publicly shamed.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2287Come, to the forge with it, then shape
FTLNLINEFTLN 2288 it. I would not have things cool.
SDThey exit.
BARDOLPH FTLNLINEFTLN 2289Sir, the
FTLNLINEFTLN 2290 your horses. The Duke himself will be tomorrow at
FTLNLINEFTLN 2291 court, and they are going to meet him.
FTLNLINEFTLN 22935 hear not of him in the court. Let me speak with the
FTLNLINEFTLN 2294 gentlemen. They speak English?
BARDOLPH FTLNLINEFTLN 2295Ay, sir. I’ll call
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 2296They shall have my horses, but I’ll make them
FTLNLINEFTLN 2297 pay. I’ll sauce them. They have had my
FTLNLINEFTLN 229810 week at command; I have turned away my other
FTLNLINEFTLN 2299 guests. They must come off. I’ll sauce them. Come.
SDThey exit.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2300’Tis one of the best discretions of a ’oman as
FTLNLINEFTLN 2301 ever I did look upon.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2302And did he send you both these letters at an
FTLNLINEFTLN 2303 instant?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 23045Within a quarter of an hour.
FORD
FTLNLINEFTLN 2305 Pardon me, wife. Henceforth do what thou wilt.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2306 I rather will suspect the sun with
FTLNLINEFTLN 2307 Than thee with wantonness. Now doth thy honor
FTLNLINEFTLN 2308 stand,
FTLNLINEFTLN 230910 In him that was of late an heretic,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2310 As firm as faith.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2311 ’Tis well, ’tis well. No more.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2312 Be not as extreme in submission as in offense.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2313 But let our plot go forward. Let our wives
FTLNLINEFTLN 231415 Yet once again, to make us public sport,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2315 Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2316 Where we may take him and disgrace him for it.
FORD
FTLNLINEFTLN 2317 There is no better way than that they spoke of.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2318How, to send him word they’ll meet him in the
FTLNLINEFTLN 231920 park at midnight? Fie, fie, he’ll never come.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2321 and has been grievously peaten as an old ’oman.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2322 Methinks there should be terrors in him, that he
FTLNLINEFTLN 2323 should not come. Methinks his flesh is punished;
FTLNLINEFTLN 232425 he shall have no desires.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2325So think I too.
MISTRESS FORD
FTLNLINEFTLN 2326 Devise but how you’ll use him when he comes,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2327 And let us two devise to bring him thither.
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLNLINEFTLN 2328 There is an old tale goes that Herne the Hunter,
FTLNLINEFTLN 232930 Sometime a keeper here in Windsor Forest,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2330 Doth all the wintertime, at still midnight,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2331 Walk round about an oak, with great ragged horns,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2332 And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2333 And
FTLNLINEFTLN 233435 chain
FTLNLINEFTLN 2335 In a most hideous and dreadful manner.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2336 You have heard of such a spirit, and well you know
FTLNLINEFTLN 2337 The superstitious idle-headed eld
FTLNLINEFTLN 2338 Received and did deliver to our age
FTLNLINEFTLN 233940 This tale of Herne the Hunter for a truth.
PAGE
FTLNLINEFTLN 2340 Why, yet there want not many that do fear
FTLNLINEFTLN 2341 In deep of night to walk by this Herne’s oak.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2342 But what of this?
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2343 Marry, this is our device,
FTLNLINEFTLN 234445 That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us.
PAGE
FTLNLINEFTLN 2345 Well, let it not be doubted but he’ll come.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2346 And in this shape when you have brought him
FTLNLINEFTLN 2347 thither,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2348 What shall be done with him? What is your plot?
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLNLINEFTLN 234950 That likewise have we thought upon, and thus:
FTLNLINEFTLN 2350 Nan Page my daughter, and my little son,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2352 Like urchins, aufs, and fairies, green and white,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2353 With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads
FTLNLINEFTLN 235455 And rattles in their hands. Upon a sudden,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2355 As Falstaff, she, and I are newly met,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2356 Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once
FTLNLINEFTLN 2357 With some diffusèd song. Upon their sight,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2358 We two in great amazedness will fly.
FTLNLINEFTLN 235960 Then let them all encircle him about,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2360 And, fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2361 And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2362 In their so sacred paths he dares to tread
FTLNLINEFTLN 2363 In shape profane.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 236465 And till he tell the truth,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2365 Let the supposèd fairies pinch him sound
FTLNLINEFTLN 2366 And burn him with their tapers.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2367 The truth being known,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2368 We’ll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit,
FTLNLINEFTLN 236970 And mock him home to Windsor.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2370 The children must
FTLNLINEFTLN 2371 Be practiced well to this, or they’ll ne’er do ’t.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2372I will teach the children their behaviors, and
FTLNLINEFTLN 2373 I will be like a jackanapes also, to burn the knight
FTLNLINEFTLN 237475 with my taber.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2375That will be excellent. I’ll go buy them vizards.
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLNLINEFTLN 2376 My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2377 Finely attirèd in a robe of white.
PAGE
FTLNLINEFTLN 2378 That silk will I go buy.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 237980 Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away
FTLNLINEFTLN 2380 And marry her at Eton.—Go, send to Falstaff
FTLNLINEFTLN 2381 straight.
FORD
FTLNLINEFTLN 2382 Nay, I’ll to him again in name of
FTLNLINEFTLN 2383 He’ll tell me all his purpose. Sure he’ll come.
FTLNLINEFTLN 238485 Fear not you that. Go get us properties
FTLNLINEFTLN 2385 And tricking for our fairies.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2386Let us about it. It is admirable pleasures and
FTLNLINEFTLN 2387 fery honest knaveries.
SD
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2388Go, Mistress Ford,
FTLNLINEFTLN 238990 Send quickly to Sir John to know his mind.
SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 2390 I’ll to the doctor. He hath my good will,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2391 And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2392 That Slender, though well-landed, is an idiot,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2393 And he my husband best of all affects.
FTLNLINEFTLN 239495 The doctor is well-moneyed, and his friends
FTLNLINEFTLN 2395 Potent at court. He, none but he, shall have her,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2396 Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her.
SD
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 2397What wouldst thou have, boor? What, thickskin?
FTLNLINEFTLN 2398 Speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2399 snap.
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 2400Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff
FTLNLINEFTLN 24015 from Master Slender.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 2402There’s his chamber, his house, his castle, his
FTLNLINEFTLN 2403 standing-bed and truckle-bed. ’Tis painted about
FTLNLINEFTLN 2404 with the story of the Prodigal, fresh and new. Go,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2405 knock and call. He’ll speak like an Anthropophaginian
FTLNLINEFTLN 240610 unto thee. Knock, I say.
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 2407There’s an old woman, a fat woman, gone up
FTLNLINEFTLN 2408 into his chamber. I’ll be so bold as stay, sir, till she
FTLNLINEFTLN 2409 come down. I come to speak with her, indeed.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 2410Ha? A fat woman? The knight may be robbed.
FTLNLINEFTLN 241115 I’ll call.—Bully knight! Bully Sir John! Speak from
FTLNLINEFTLN 2413 thine Ephesian, calls.
FALSTAFFSD,
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 2415Here’s a Bohemian Tartar tarries the coming
FTLNLINEFTLN 241620 down of thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully, let
FTLNLINEFTLN 2417 her descend. My chambers are honorable. Fie! Privacy?
FTLNLINEFTLN 2418 Fie!
SDEnter
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2419There was, mine Host, an old fat woman
FTLNLINEFTLN 2420 even now with me, but she’s gone.
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 242125Pray you, sir, was ’t not the wise woman of
FTLNLINEFTLN 2422 Brentford?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2423Ay, marry, was it, mussel-shell. What would
FTLNLINEFTLN 2424 you with her?
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 2425My master, sir, my Master Slender, sent to her,
FTLNLINEFTLN 242630 seeing her go through the streets, to know, sir,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2427 whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2428 had the chain or no.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2429I spake with the old woman about it.
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 2430And what says she, I pray, sir?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 243135Marry, she says that the very same man that
FTLNLINEFTLN 2432 beguiled Master Slender of his chain cozened him
FTLNLINEFTLN 2433 of it.
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 2434I would I could have spoken with the woman
FTLNLINEFTLN 2435 herself. I had other things to have spoken with her
FTLNLINEFTLN 243640 too from him.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2437What are they? Let us know.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 2438Ay, come. Quick!
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 2440Conceal them, or thou diest.
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 244145Why, sir, they were nothing but about Mistress
FTLNLINEFTLN 2442 Anne Page, to know if it were my master’s fortune
FTLNLINEFTLN 2443 to have her or no.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2444’Tis; ’tis his fortune.
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 2445What, sir?
FTLNLINEFTLN 2447 me so.
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 2448May I be bold to say so, sir?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2449Ay, sir; like who more bold.
SIMPLE FTLNLINEFTLN 2450I thank your Worship. I shall make my master
FTLNLINEFTLN 245155 glad with these tidings.SD
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 2452Thou
FTLNLINEFTLN 2453 there a wise woman with thee?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2454Ay, that there was, mine Host, one that hath
FTLNLINEFTLN 2455 taught me more wit than ever I learned before in
FTLNLINEFTLN 245660 my life. And I paid nothing for it neither, but was
FTLNLINEFTLN 2457 paid for my learning.
SDEnter Bardolph.
BARDOLPHSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2459 cozenage!
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 2460Where be my horses? Speak well of them,
FTLNLINEFTLN 246165 varletto.
BARDOLPH FTLNLINEFTLN 2462Run away with the cozeners. For so soon as
FTLNLINEFTLN 2463 I came beyond Eton, they threw me off from behind
FTLNLINEFTLN 2464 one of them in a slough of mire, and set
FTLNLINEFTLN 2465 spurs, and away, like three German devils, three
FTLNLINEFTLN 246670 Doctor Faustuses.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 2467They are gone but to meet the Duke, villain. Do
FTLNLINEFTLN 2468 not say they be fled. Germans are honest men.
SDEnter
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2469Where is mine Host?
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 2470What is the matter, sir?
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 247175Have a care of your entertainments. There is
FTLNLINEFTLN 2472 a friend of mine come to town tells me there is
FTLNLINEFTLN 2473 three cozen-Germans that has cozened all the
FTLNLINEFTLN 2474 hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colnbrook,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2475 of horses and money. I tell you for good will, look
FTLNLINEFTLN 247680 you. You are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stocks,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2477 and ’tis not convenient you should be cozened.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2478 Fare you well.SD
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 2479Vere is mine Host de Jarteer?
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 2480Here, Master Doctor, in perplexity and doubtful
FTLNLINEFTLN 248185 dilemma.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 2482I cannot tell vat is dat. But it is tell-a me
FTLNLINEFTLN 2483 dat you make grand preparation for a duke de
FTLNLINEFTLN 2484 Jamanie. By my trot, dere is no duke that the court
FTLNLINEFTLN 2485 is know to come. I tell you for good will. Adieu.
SD
HOSTSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2487 me, knight. I am undone.—Fly, run; hue and cry,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2488 villain! I am undone.SD
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2489I would all the world might be cozened, for I
FTLNLINEFTLN 2490 have been cozened and beaten too. If it should
FTLNLINEFTLN 249195 come to the ear of the court how I have been transformed,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2492 and how my transformation hath been
FTLNLINEFTLN 2493 washed and cudgeled, they would melt me out of
FTLNLINEFTLN 2494 my fat drop by drop, and liquor fishermen’s boots
FTLNLINEFTLN 2495 with me. I warrant they would whip me with their
FTLNLINEFTLN 2496100 fine wits till I were as crestfallen as a dried pear. I
FTLNLINEFTLN 2497 never prospered since I forswore myself at
FTLNLINEFTLN 2498 primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough, I
FTLNLINEFTLN 2499 would repent.
SDEnter
FTLNLINEFTLN 2500 Now, whence come you?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 2501105From the two parties, forsooth.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2502The devil take one party, and his dam the
FTLNLINEFTLN 2503 other, and so they shall be both bestowed. I have
FTLNLINEFTLN 2504 suffered more for their sakes, more than the villainous
FTLNLINEFTLN 2505 inconstancy of man’s disposition is able to
FTLNLINEFTLN 2506110 bear.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 2507And have not they suffered? Yes, I
FTLNLINEFTLN 2508 warrant, speciously one of them. Mistress Ford,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2510 see a white spot about her.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2511115What tell’st thou me of black and blue? I was
FTLNLINEFTLN 2512 beaten myself into all the colors of the rainbow,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2513 and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of
FTLNLINEFTLN 2514 Brentford. But that my admirable dexterity of wit,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2515 my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, delivered
FTLNLINEFTLN 2516120 me, the knave constable had set me i’ th’
FTLNLINEFTLN 2517 stocks, i’ th’ common stocks, for a witch.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 2518Sir, let me speak with you in your
FTLNLINEFTLN 2519 chamber. You shall hear how things go, and, I warrant,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2520 to your content. Here is a letter will say
FTLNLINEFTLN 2521125 somewhat.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 2522 what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one
FTLNLINEFTLN 2523 of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so
FTLNLINEFTLN 2524 crossed.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2525Come up into my chamber.
SDThey exit.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 2526Master Fenton, talk not to me. My mind is
FTLNLINEFTLN 2527 heavy. I will give over all.
FENTON
FTLNLINEFTLN 2528 Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2529 And, as I am a gentleman, I’ll give thee
FTLNLINEFTLN 25305 A hundred pound in gold more than your loss.
HOST FTLNLINEFTLN 2531I will hear you, Master Fenton, and I will, at the
FTLNLINEFTLN 2532 least, keep your counsel.
FENTON
FTLNLINEFTLN 2533 From time to time I have acquainted you
FTLNLINEFTLN 2534 With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page,
FTLNLINEFTLN 253510 Who mutually hath answered my affection,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2536 So far forth as herself might be her chooser,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2538 Of such contents as you will wonder at,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2539 The mirth whereof so larded with my matter
FTLNLINEFTLN 254015 That neither singly can be manifested
FTLNLINEFTLN 2541 Without the show of both. Fat Falstaff
FTLNLINEFTLN 2542 Hath a great scene; the image of the jest
FTLNLINEFTLN 2543 I’ll show you here at large.SD
paper.
FTLNLINEFTLN 254520 Tonight at Herne’s oak, just ’twixt twelve and one,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2546 Must my sweet Nan present the Fairy Queen—
FTLNLINEFTLN 2547 The purpose why is here—in which disguise,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2548 While other jests are something rank on foot,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2549 Her father hath commanded her to slip
FTLNLINEFTLN 255025 Away with Slender, and with him at Eton
FTLNLINEFTLN 2551 Immediately to marry. She hath consented. Now, sir,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2552 Her mother,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2553 And firm for Doctor Caius, hath appointed
FTLNLINEFTLN 2554 That he shall likewise shuffle her away,
FTLNLINEFTLN 255530 While other sports are tasking of their minds,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2556 And at the dean’ry, where a priest attends,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2557 Straight marry her. To this her mother’s plot
FTLNLINEFTLN 2558 She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath
FTLNLINEFTLN 2559 Made promise to the doctor. Now, thus it rests:
FTLNLINEFTLN 256035 Her father means she shall be all in white,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2561 And in that habit, when Slender sees his time
FTLNLINEFTLN 2562 To take her by the hand and bid her go,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2563 She shall go with him. Her mother hath intended
FTLNLINEFTLN 2564 The better to
FTLNLINEFTLN 256540 For they must all be masked and vizarded—
FTLNLINEFTLN 2566 That quaint in green she shall be loose enrobed,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2567 With ribbons pendent flaring ’bout her head;
FTLNLINEFTLN 2568 And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2569 To pinch her by the hand, and on that token
FTLNLINEFTLN 257045 The maid hath given consent to go with him.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2571 Which means she to deceive, father or mother?
FENTON
FTLNLINEFTLN 2572 Both, my good Host, to go along with me.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2573 And here it rests, that you’ll procure the vicar
FTLNLINEFTLN 2574 To stay for me at church ’twixt twelve and one,
FTLNLINEFTLN 257550 And, in the lawful name of marrying,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2576 To give our hearts united ceremony.
HOST
FTLNLINEFTLN 2577 Well, husband your device. I’ll to the vicar.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2578 Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.
FENTON
FTLNLINEFTLN 2579 So shall I evermore be bound to thee;
FTLNLINEFTLN 258055 Besides, I’ll make a present recompense.
SDThey exit.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2581Prithee, no more prattling. Go. I’ll hold. This
FTLNLINEFTLN 2582 is the third time; I hope good luck lies in odd numbers.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2583 Away, go. They say there is divinity in odd
FTLNLINEFTLN 2584 numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death.
FTLNLINEFTLN 25855 Away.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLNLINEFTLN 2586I’ll provide you a chain, and I’ll do
FTLNLINEFTLN 2587 what I can to get you a pair of horns.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2588Away, I say! Time wears. Hold up your head,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2589 and mince.SD
SDEnter Ford
FTLNLINEFTLN 259010 How now, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 2591 matter will be known tonight or never. Be you in
FTLNLINEFTLN 2592 the park about midnight, at Herne’s oak, and you
FTLNLINEFTLN 2593 shall see wonders.
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 259515 you told me you had appointed?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2596I went to her, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 2597 like a poor old man, but I came from her, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 2598
FTLNLINEFTLN 2599 Ford, her husband, hath the finest mad devil of
FTLNLINEFTLN 260020 jealousy in him, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 2601 frenzy. I will tell you, he beat me grievously,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2602 in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2604 beam, because I know also life is a shuttle. I am in
FTLNLINEFTLN 260525 haste. Go along with me; I’ll tell you all, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 2606
FTLNLINEFTLN 2607 whipped top, I knew not what ’twas to be beaten
FTLNLINEFTLN 2608 till lately. Follow me. I’ll tell you strange things of
FTLNLINEFTLN 2609 this knave Ford, on whom tonight I will be revenged,
FTLNLINEFTLN 261030 and I will deliver his wife into your hand.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2611 Follow. Strange things in hand, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 2612 Follow.
SDThey exit.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2613Come, come. We’ll couch i’ th’ castle ditch till we
FTLNLINEFTLN 2614 see the light of our fairies.—Remember, son Slender,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2615 my—
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 2616Ay, forsooth, I have spoke with her, and we
FTLNLINEFTLN 26175 have a nayword how to know one another. I come
FTLNLINEFTLN 2618 to her in white and cry “mum,” she cries “budget,”
FTLNLINEFTLN 2619 and by that we know one another.
SHALLOW FTLNLINEFTLN 2620That’s good too. But what needs either your
FTLNLINEFTLN 2621 “mum” or her “budget”? The white will decipher
FTLNLINEFTLN 262210 her well enough. It hath struck ten o’clock.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2623The night is dark. Light and spirits will become
FTLNLINEFTLN 2624 it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means
FTLNLINEFTLN 2625 evil but the devil, and we shall know him by his
FTLNLINEFTLN 2626 horns. Let’s away. Follow me.
SDThey exit.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2627Master Doctor, my daughter is in
FTLNLINEFTLN 2628 green. When you see your time, take her by the
FTLNLINEFTLN 2630 it quickly. Go before into the park. We two must go
FTLNLINEFTLN 26315 together.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 2632I know vat I have to do. Adieu.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2633Fare you well, sir.SD
FTLNLINEFTLN 2634 My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse
FTLNLINEFTLN 2635 of Falstaff as he will chafe at the doctor’s marrying
FTLNLINEFTLN 263610 my daughter. But ’tis no matter. Better a little chiding
FTLNLINEFTLN 2637 than a great deal of heartbreak.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2638Where is Nan now, and her troop of
FTLNLINEFTLN 2639 fairies, and the Welsh devil
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2640They are all couched in a pit hard by
FTLNLINEFTLN 264115 Herne’s oak, with obscured lights, which, at the
FTLNLINEFTLN 2642 very instant of Falstaff’s and our meeting, they will
FTLNLINEFTLN 2643 at once display to the night.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2644That cannot choose but amaze him.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2645If he be not amazed, he will be
FTLNLINEFTLN 264620 mocked. If he be amazed, he will every way be
FTLNLINEFTLN 2647 mocked.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2648We’ll betray him finely.
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLNLINEFTLN 2649 Against such lewdsters and their lechery,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2650 Those that betray them do no treachery.
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 265125The hour draws on. To the oak, to the
FTLNLINEFTLN 2652 oak!
SDThey exit.
like him, as
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2653Trib, trib, fairies! Come, and remember
FTLNLINEFTLN 2654 your parts. Be pold, I pray you. Follow me into the
FTLNLINEFTLN 2655 pit, and when I give the watch-’ords, do as I pid
FTLNLINEFTLN 2656 you. Come, come; trib, trib.SDThey exit.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2657The Windsor bell hath struck twelve. The
FTLNLINEFTLN 2658 minute draws on. Now, the
FTLNLINEFTLN 2659 me! Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy
FTLNLINEFTLN 2660 Europa; love set on thy horns. O powerful love,
FTLNLINEFTLN 26615 that in some respects makes a beast a man, in
FTLNLINEFTLN 2662 some other a man a beast! You were also, Jupiter,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2663 a swan for the love of Leda. O omnipotent love,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2664 how near the god drew to the complexion of a
FTLNLINEFTLN 2665 goose! A fault done first in the form of a beast; O
FTLNLINEFTLN 266610 Jove, a beastly fault! And then another fault in the
FTLNLINEFTLN 2667 semblance of a fowl; think on ’t, Jove, a foul fault.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2668 When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men
FTLNLINEFTLN 2669 do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag, and the fattest,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2670 I think, i’ th’ forest. Send me a cool rut-time,
FTLNLINEFTLN 267115 Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow?
SDEnter Mistress Page
FTLNLINEFTLN 2672 Who comes here? My doe?
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2673Sir John? Art thou there, my deer, my
FTLNLINEFTLN 2674 male deer?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2675My doe with the black scut! Let the sky rain
FTLNLINEFTLN 267620 potatoes, let it thunder to the tune of “Greensleeves,”
FTLNLINEFTLN 2677 hail kissing-comfits, and snow eryngoes; let there
FTLNLINEFTLN 2678 come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me
FTLNLINEFTLN 2679 here.SD
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2680Mistress Page is come with me,
FTLNLINEFTLN 268125 sweetheart.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2682Divide me like a bribed buck, each a haunch.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2683 I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for
FTLNLINEFTLN 2684 the fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath
FTLNLINEFTLN 2685 your husbands. Am I a woodman, ha? Speak I like
FTLNLINEFTLN 268630 Herne the Hunter? Why, now is Cupid a child of
FTLNLINEFTLN 2687 conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true
FTLNLINEFTLN 2688 spirit, welcome.SD
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2690Heaven forgive our sins!
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 269135What should this be?
MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2692Away, away.
SD
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2693I think the devil will not have me damned,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2694 lest the oil that’s in me should set hell on fire. He
FTLNLINEFTLN 2695 would never else cross me thus.
SDEnter
Anne Page
carrying tapers.
MISTRESS QUICKLYSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 269640 Fairies black, gray, green, and white,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2697 You moonshine revelers and shades of night,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2698 You orphan heirs of fixèd destiny,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2699 Attend your office and your quality.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2700 Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy oyes.
PISTOLSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 270145 Elves, list your names. Silence, you airy toys!—
FTLNLINEFTLN 2702 Cricket, to Windsor chimneys shalt thou leap,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2703 Where fires thou find’st unraked and hearths
FTLNLINEFTLN 2704 unswept.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2705 There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry.
FTLNLINEFTLN 270650 Our radiant queen hates sluts and sluttery.
FALSTAFFSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2707 They are fairies. He that speaks to them shall die.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2708 I’ll wink and couch. No man their works must eye.
SD
SIR HUGHSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2709 Where’s Bead? Go you, and where you find a maid
FTLNLINEFTLN 2710 That ere she sleep has thrice her prayers said,
FTLNLINEFTLN 271155 Raise up the organs of her fantasy;
FTLNLINEFTLN 2712 Sleep she as sound as careless infancy.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2713 But those as sleep and think not on their sins,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2714 Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides, and
FTLNLINEFTLN 2715 shins.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2717 Search Windsor Castle, elves, within and out.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2718 Strew good luck, aufs, on every sacred room,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2719 That it may stand till the perpetual doom
FTLNLINEFTLN 2720 In state as wholesome as in state ’tis fit,
FTLNLINEFTLN 272165 Worthy the owner, and the owner it.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2722 The several chairs of order look you scour
FTLNLINEFTLN 2723 With juice of balm and every precious flower.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2724 Each fair installment, coat, and sev’ral crest
FTLNLINEFTLN 2725 With loyal blazon evermore be blest!
FTLNLINEFTLN 272670 And nightly, meadow fairies, look you sing,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2727 Like to the Garter’s compass, in a ring.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2728 Th’ expressure that it bears, green let it be,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2729
FTLNLINEFTLN 2730 And Honi soit qui mal y pense write
FTLNLINEFTLN 273175 In em’rald tufts, flowers purple, blue, and white,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2732 Like sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2733 Buckled below fair knighthood’s bending knee.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2734 Fairies use flowers for their charactery.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2735 Away, disperse! But till ’tis one o’clock,
FTLNLINEFTLN 273680 Our dance of custom round about the oak
FTLNLINEFTLN 2737 Of Herne the Hunter let us not forget.
SIR HUGHSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2738 Pray you, lock hand in hand. Yourselves in order set;
FTLNLINEFTLN 2739 And twenty glowworms shall our lanterns be,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2740 To guide our measure round about the tree.
FTLNLINEFTLN 274185 But stay! I smell a man of Middle Earth.
FALSTAFFSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2743 fairy, lest he transform me to a piece of cheese.
PISTOLSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2744 Vile worm, thou wast o’erlooked even in thy birth.
MISTRESS QUICKLYSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2745 With trial-fire touch me his finger-end.
FTLNLINEFTLN 274690 If he be chaste, the flame will back descend
FTLNLINEFTLN 2747 And turn him to no pain. But if he start,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2748 It is the flesh of a corrupted heart.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2749 A trial, come!
SIR HUGHSD,
SD
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 275195O, O, O!
MISTRESS QUICKLYSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2752 Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire!
FTLNLINEFTLN 2753 About him, fairies. Sing a scornful rhyme,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2754 And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time.
SD
Caius comes one way and steals away a boy in white.
And Slender comes another way; he takes a boy in
green. And Fenton steals Mistress Anne Page.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2755 Fie on sinful fantasy!
FTLNLINEFTLN 2756100 Fie on lust and luxury!
FTLNLINEFTLN 2757 Lust is but a bloody fire
FTLNLINEFTLN 2758 Kindled with unchaste desire,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2759 Fed in heart whose flames aspire
FTLNLINEFTLN 2760 As thoughts do blow them higher and higher.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2761105 Pinch him, fairies, mutually;
FTLNLINEFTLN 2762 Pinch him for his villainy.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2763 Pinch him and burn him and turn him about,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2764 Till candles and starlight and moonshine be out.
SD
run away from Falstaff, who pulls off his buck’s head
and rises up.
Mistress Ford and
PAGESD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2765 Nay, do not fly. I think we have watched you now.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2766110 Will none but Herne the Hunter serve your turn?
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLNLINEFTLN 2767 I pray you, come, hold up the jest no higher.—
FTLNLINEFTLN 2768 Now, good Sir John, how like you Windsor wives?
FTLNLINEFTLN 2769 See you these, husband? Do not these fair yokes
FTLNLINEFTLN 2770 Become the forest better than the town?
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2772 Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 2773 knave. Here are his horns, Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 2774 Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 2775 but his buck-basket, his cudgel, and twenty
FTLNLINEFTLN 2776120 pounds of money, which must be paid to Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 2777
FTLNLINEFTLN 2778
MISTRESS FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2779Sir John, we have had ill luck. We
FTLNLINEFTLN 2780 could never meet. I will never take you for my love
FTLNLINEFTLN 2781125 again, but I will always count you my deer.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2782I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2783Ay, and an ox too. Both the proofs are extant.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2784And these are not fairies. I was three or four
FTLNLINEFTLN 2785 times in the thought they were not fairies; and yet
FTLNLINEFTLN 2786130 the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of
FTLNLINEFTLN 2787 my powers, drove the grossness of the foppery into
FTLNLINEFTLN 2788 a received belief, in despite of the teeth of all
FTLNLINEFTLN 2789 rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now
FTLNLINEFTLN 2790 how wit may be made a Jack-a-Lent when ’tis upon
FTLNLINEFTLN 2791135 ill employment.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2792Sir John Falstaff, serve Got and leave your
FTLNLINEFTLN 2793 desires, and fairies will not pinse you.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2794Well said, Fairy Hugh.
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2795And leave you your jealousies too, I pray
FTLNLINEFTLN 2796140 you.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2797I will never mistrust my wife again till thou art
FTLNLINEFTLN 2798 able to woo her in good English.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2799Have I laid my brain in the sun and dried it,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2800 that it wants matter to prevent so gross o’erreaching
FTLNLINEFTLN 2801145 as this? Am I ridden with a Welsh goat too?
FTLNLINEFTLN 2802 Shall I have a coxcomb of frieze? ’Tis time I were
FTLNLINEFTLN 2803 choked with a piece of toasted cheese.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2805 all putter.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2806150“Seese” and “putter”? Have I lived to stand at
FTLNLINEFTLN 2807 the taunt of one that makes fritters of English?
FTLNLINEFTLN 2808 This is enough to be the decay of lust and late
FTLNLINEFTLN 2809 walking through the realm.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2810Why, Sir John, do you think though we
FTLNLINEFTLN 2811155 would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the
FTLNLINEFTLN 2812 head and shoulders, and have given ourselves
FTLNLINEFTLN 2813 without scruple to hell, that ever the devil could
FTLNLINEFTLN 2814 have made you our delight?
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2815What, a hodge-pudding? A bag of flax?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2816160A puffed man?
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2817Old, cold, withered, and of intolerable entrails?
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2818And one that is as slanderous as Satan?
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2819And as poor as Job?
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2820And as wicked as his wife?
SIR HUGH FTLNLINEFTLN 2821165And given to fornications, and to taverns,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2822 and sack, and wine, and metheglins, and to drinkings
FTLNLINEFTLN 2823 and swearings and starings, pribbles and
FTLNLINEFTLN 2824 prabbles?
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2825Well, I am your theme. You have the start of
FTLNLINEFTLN 2826170 me. I am dejected. I am not able to answer the
FTLNLINEFTLN 2827 Welsh flannel. Ignorance itself is a plummet o’er
FTLNLINEFTLN 2828 me. Use me as you will.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2829Marry, sir, we’ll bring you to Windsor to one
FTLNLINEFTLN 2830 Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 2831175 to whom you should have been a pander. Over and
FTLNLINEFTLN 2832 above that you have suffered, I think to repay that
FTLNLINEFTLN 2833 money will be a biting affliction.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2834Yet be cheerful, knight. Thou shalt eat a posset
FTLNLINEFTLN 2835 tonight at my house, where I will desire thee to
FTLNLINEFTLN 2836180 laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee. Tell her
FTLNLINEFTLN 2837 Master Slender hath married her daughter.
MISTRESS PAGESD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2839 Page be my daughter, she is, by this, Doctor Caius’
FTLNLINEFTLN 2840 wife.
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 2841185Whoa, ho, ho, Father Page!
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2842Son, how now! How now, son! Have you
FTLNLINEFTLN 2843 dispatched?
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 2844“Dispatched”? I’ll make the best in Gloucestershire
FTLNLINEFTLN 2845 know on ’t. Would I were hanged, la, else!
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2846190Of what, son?
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 2847I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress
FTLNLINEFTLN 2848 Anne Page, and she’s a great lubberly boy. If it had
FTLNLINEFTLN 2849 not been i’ th’ church, I would have swinged him,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2850 or he should have swinged me. If I did not think it
FTLNLINEFTLN 2851195 had been Anne Page, would I might never stir! And
FTLNLINEFTLN 2852 ’tis a post-master’s boy.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2853Upon my life, then, you took the wrong—
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 2854What need you tell me that? I think so, when
FTLNLINEFTLN 2855 I took a boy for a girl. If I had been married to him,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2856200 for all he was in woman’s apparel, I would not
FTLNLINEFTLN 2857 have had him.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2858Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell you
FTLNLINEFTLN 2859 how you should know my daughter by her
FTLNLINEFTLN 2860 garments?
SLENDER FTLNLINEFTLN 2861205I went to her in
FTLNLINEFTLN 2862 and she cried “budget,” as Anne and I had appointed,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2863 and yet it was not Anne, but a post-master’s
FTLNLINEFTLN 2864 boy.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2865Good George, be not angry. I knew of
FTLNLINEFTLN 2866210 your purpose, turned my daughter into
FTLNLINEFTLN 2867 and indeed she is now with the doctor at the deanery,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2868 and there married.
SDEnter
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 2869Vere is Mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened!
FTLNLINEFTLN 2870 I ha’ married un garçon, a boy; un paysan, by
FTLNLINEFTLN 2871215 gar, a boy. It is not Anne Page. By gar, I am
FTLNLINEFTLN 2872 cozened.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLNLINEFTLN 2874Ay, be gar, and ’tis a boy. Be gar, I’ll raise
FTLNLINEFTLN 2875 all Windsor.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2876220This is strange. Who hath got the right Anne?
SDEnter Fenton and Anne Page.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2877My heart misgives me. Here comes Master Fenton.—
FTLNLINEFTLN 2878 How now, Master Fenton!
ANNE FTLNLINEFTLN 2879Pardon, good father. Good my mother, pardon.
PAGE FTLNLINEFTLN 2880Now, mistress, how chance you went not with
FTLNLINEFTLN 2881225 Master Slender?
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLNLINEFTLN 2882 Why went you not with Master Doctor, maid?
FENTON
FTLNLINEFTLN 2883 You do amaze her. Hear the truth of it.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2884 You would have married her most shamefully,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2885 Where there was no proportion held in love.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2886230 The truth is, she and I, long since contracted,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2887 Are now so sure that nothing can dissolve us.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2888 Th’ offense is holy that she hath committed,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2889 And this deceit loses the name of craft,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2890 Of disobedience, or unduteous title,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2891235 Since therein she doth evitate and shun
FTLNLINEFTLN 2892 A thousand irreligious cursèd hours
FTLNLINEFTLN 2893 Which forcèd marriage would have brought upon her.
FORDSD,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2894 Stand not amazed. Here is no remedy.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2895 In love the heavens themselves do guide the state.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2896240 Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate.
FALSTAFF FTLNLINEFTLN 2897I am glad, though you have ta’en a special
FTLNLINEFTLN 2898 stand to strike at me, that your arrow hath
FTLNLINEFTLN 2899 glanced.
PAGE
FTLNLINEFTLN 2900 Well, what remedy? Fenton, heaven give thee joy.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2901245 What cannot be eschewed must be embraced.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2902 When night-dogs run, all sorts of deer are chased.
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLNLINEFTLN 2903 Well, I will muse no further.—Master Fenton,
FTLNLINEFTLN 2904 Heaven give you many, many merry days.—
FTLNLINEFTLN 2905 Good husband, let us every one go home
FTLNLINEFTLN 2906250 And laugh this sport o’er by a country fire—
FTLNLINEFTLN 2907 Sir John and all.
FORD FTLNLINEFTLN 2908 Let it be so, Sir John.
FTLNLINEFTLN 2909 To Master
FTLNLINEFTLN 2910 For he tonight shall lie with Mistress Ford.
SDThey exit.
- Holder of rights
- Folger Library
- Citation Suggestion for this Object
- TextGrid Repository (2025). collection. The Merry Wives of Windsor. The Merry Wives of Windsor. The Folger Digital Texts in TextGrid. Folger Library. https://hdl.handle.net/21.11113/0000-0016-844F-B