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Twelfth Night—an allusion to the night of festivity preceding the Christian celebration of the Epiphany—combines love, confusion, mistaken identities, and joyful discovery.
After the twins Sebastian and Viola survive a shipwreck, neither knows that the other is alive. Viola goes into service with Count Orsino of Illyria, disguised as a young man, “Cesario.” Orsino sends Cesario to woo the Lady Olivia on his behalf, but Olivia falls in love with Cesario. Viola, in the meantime, has fallen in love with Orsino.
At the estate of Lady Olivia, Sir Toby Belch , Olivia’s kinsman, has brought in Sir Andrew Aguecheek to be her suitor. A confrontation between Olivia’s steward, Malvolio, and the partying Toby and his cohort leads to a revenge plot against Malvolio. Malvolio is tricked into making a fool of himself, and he is locked in a dungeon as a lunatic.
In the meantime, Sebastian has been rescued by a sea captain, Antonio. When Viola, as Cesario, is challenged to a duel, Antonio mistakes her for Sebastian, comes to her aid, and is arrested. Olivia, meanwhile, mistakes Sebastian for Cesario and declares her love. When, finally, Sebastian and Viola appear together, the puzzles around the mistaken identities are solved: Cesario is revealed as Viola, Orsino asks for Viola’s hand, Sebastian will wed Olivia, and Viola will marry Count Orsino. Malvolio, blaming Olivia and others for his humiliation, vows revenge.
ACT 1
Scene 1
with Musicians playing .
Give me excess of it , that , surfeiting ,
The appetite may sicken and so die .
That strain again ! It had a dying fall .
O , it came o’er my ear like the sweet sound
That breathes upon a bank of violets ,
Stealing and giving odor . Enough ; no more .
’Tis not so sweet now as it was before .
O spirit of love , how quick and fresh art thou ,
That , notwithstanding thy capacity
Receiveth as the sea , naught enters there ,
Of what validity and pitch soe’er ,
But falls into abatement and low price
Even in a minute . So full of shapes is fancy
That it alone is high fantastical .
O , when mine eyes did see Olivia first ,
[9] ACT 1. SC. 2 Methought she purged the air of pestilence .
That instant was I turned into a hart ,
And my desires , like fell and cruel hounds ,
E’er since pursue me .
How now , what news from her ?
But from her handmaid do return this answer :
The element itself , till seven years’ heat ,
Shall not behold her face at ample view ,
But like a cloistress she will veilèd walk ,
And water once a day her chamber round
With eye-offending brine — all this to season
A brother’s dead love , which she would keep fresh
And lasting in her sad remembrance .
To pay this debt of love but to a brother ,
How will she love when the rich golden shaft
Hath killed the flock of all affections else
That live in her ; when liver , brain , and heart ,
These sovereign thrones , are all supplied , and filled
Her sweet perfections with one self king !
Away before me to sweet beds of flowers !
Love thoughts lie rich when canopied with bowers .
Scene 2
[11] ACT 1. SC. 2 My brother he is in Elysium .
Perchance he is not drowned . — What think you ,
sailors ?
Assure yourself , after our ship did split ,
When you and those poor number saved with you
Hung on our driving boat , I saw your brother ,
Most provident in peril , bind himself
( Courage and hope both teaching him the practice )
To a strong mast that lived upon the sea ,
Where , like Arion on the dolphin’s back ,
I saw him hold acquaintance with the waves
So long as I could see .
Mine own escape unfoldeth to my hope ,
Whereto thy speech serves for authority ,
The like of him . Know’st thou this country ?
Not three hours’ travel from this very place .
He was a bachelor then .
For but a month ago I went from hence ,
[13] ACT 1. SC. 2 And then ’twas fresh in murmur ( as , you know ,
What great ones do the less will prattle of )
That he did seek the love of fair Olivia .
That died some twelvemonth since , then leaving her
In the protection of his son , her brother ,
Who shortly also died , for whose dear love ,
They say , she hath abjured the sight
And company of men .
And might not be delivered to the world
Till I had made mine own occasion mellow ,
What my estate is .
Because she will admit no kind of suit ,
No , not the Duke’s .
And though that nature with a beauteous wall
Doth oft close in pollution , yet of thee
I will believe thou hast a mind that suits
With this thy fair and outward character .
I prithee — and I’ll pay thee bounteously —
Conceal me what I am , and be my aid
For such disguise as haply shall become
The form of my intent . I’ll serve this duke .
Thou shalt present me as an eunuch to him .
It may be worth thy pains , for I can sing
And speak to him in many sorts of music
That will allow me very worth his service .
What else may hap , to time I will commit .
Only shape thou thy silence to my wit .
[15] ACT 1. SC. 3 When my tongue blabs , then let mine eyes not see .
Scene 3
of her brother thus ? I am sure care’s an enemy to
life .
o’ nights . Your cousin , my lady , takes great exceptions
to your ill hours .
modest limits of order .
These clothes are good enough to drink in , and so
be these boots too . An they be not , let them hang
themselves in their own straps !
heard my lady talk of it yesterday , and of a foolish
knight that you brought in one night here to be her
wooer .
He’s a very fool and a prodigal .
and speaks three or four languages word
for word without book , and hath all the good gifts of
nature .
[17]ACT 1. SC. 3
that he’s a fool , he’s a great quarreler , and , but that
he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath
in quarreling , ’tis thought among the prudent he
would quickly have the gift of a grave .
that say so of him . Who are they ?
your company .
her as long as there is a passage in my throat and
drink in Illyria . He’s a coward and a coistrel that
will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o’ th’
toe like a parish top . What , wench ! Castiliano vulgo ,
for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface .
acquaintance .
her , woo her , assail her .
this company . Is that the meaning of ‘accost’ ?
mightst never draw sword again .
[19] ACT 1. SC. 3 never draw sword again . Fair lady , do you think you
have fools in hand ?
hand .
pray you , bring your hand to th’ butt’ry bar and let
it drink .
metaphor ?
can keep my hand dry . But what’s your jest ?
now I let go your hand , I am barren .
I see thee so put down ?
canary put me down . Methinks sometimes I have
no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man
has . But I am a great eater of beef , and I believe that
does harm to my wit .
home tomorrow , Sir Toby .
had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in
fencing , dancing , and bearbaiting . O , had I but
followed the arts !
nature .
[21]ACT 1. SC. 3
hope to see a huswife take thee between her legs
and spin it off .
niece will not be seen , or if she be , it’s four to one
she’ll none of me . The Count himself here hard by
woos her .
her degree , neither in estate , years , nor wit . I have
heard her swear ’t . Tut , there’s life in ’t , man .
strangest mind i’ th’ world . I delight in masques
and revels sometimes altogether .
under the degree of my betters , and yet I will not
compare with an old man .
strong as any man in Illyria .
these gifts a curtain before ’em ? Are they like to
take dust , like Mistress Mall’s picture ? Why dost
thou not go to church in a galliard and come home
in a coranto ? My very walk should be a jig . I would
not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace .
What dost thou mean ? Is it a world to hide virtues
in ? I did think , by the excellent constitution of thy
leg , it was formed under the star of a galliard .
dun-colored stock . Shall we set about some
revels ?
[23]ACT 1. SC. 4
Taurus ?
caper . Sir Andrew dances . Ha , higher ! Ha , ha ,
excellent !
Scene 4
you , Cesario , you are like to be much advanced . He
hath known you but three days , and already you
are no stranger .
you call in question the continuance of his love . Is
he inconstant , sir , in his favors ?
Here comes the Count .
Thou know’st no less but all . I have unclasped
To thee the book even of my secret soul .
Therefore , good youth , address thy gait unto her .
Be not denied access . Stand at her doors
And tell them , there thy fixèd foot shall grow
Till thou have audience .
If she be so abandoned to her sorrow
As it is spoke , she never will admit me .
[25]ACT 1. SC. 5
Rather than make unprofited return .
Surprise her with discourse of my dear faith .
It shall become thee well to act my woes .
She will attend it better in thy youth
Than in a nuncio’s of more grave aspect .
For they shall yet belie thy happy years
That say thou art a man . Diana’s lip
Is not more smooth and rubious , thy small pipe
Is as the maiden’s organ , shrill and sound ,
And all is semblative a womans part .
I know thy constellation is right apt
For this affair . — Some four or five attend him ,
All , if you will , for I myself am best
When least in company . — Prosper well in this
And thou shalt live as freely as thy lord ,
To call his fortunes thine .
To woo your lady .
Whoe’er I woo , myself would be his wife .
Scene 5
will not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter
[27] ACT 1. SC. 5 in way of thy excuse . My lady will hang thee for thy
absence .
world needs to fear no colors .
that saying was born , of ‘I fear no colors .’
your foolery .
those that are Fools , let them use their talents .
Or to be turned away , is not that as good as a
hanging to you ?
and , for turning away , let summer bear it out .
break , your gaskins fall .
Toby would leave drinking , thou wert as witty a
piece of Eve’s flesh as any in Illyria .
my lady . Make your excuse wisely , you were best .
fooling ! Those wits that think they have thee do very
oft prove fools , and I that am sure I lack thee may
pass for a wise man . For what says Quinapalus ?
‘Better a witty Fool than a foolish wit .’ — God bless
thee , lady !
[29]ACT 1. SC. 5
Besides , you grow dishonest .
will amend . For give the dry Fool drink , then is
the Fool not dry . Bid the dishonest man mend
himself ; if he mend , he is no longer dishonest ; if he
cannot , let the botcher mend him . Anything that’s
mended is but patched ; virtue that transgresses is
but patched with sin , and sin that amends is but
patched with virtue . If that this simple syllogism
will serve , so ; if it will not , what remedy ? As there is
no true cuckold but calamity , so beauty’s a flower .
The Lady bade take away the Fool . Therefore , I say
again , take her away .
non facit monachum . That’s as much to say as , I
wear not motley in my brain . Good madonna , give
me leave to prove you a fool .
mouse of virtue , answer me .
your proof .
brother’s soul , being in heaven . Take away the fool ,
gentlemen .
not mend ?
[31]ACT 1. SC. 5
shake him . Infirmity , that decays the wise , doth
ever make the better Fool .
better increasing your folly ! Sir Toby will be sworn
that I am no fox , but he will not pass his word for
twopence that you are no fool .
such a barren rascal . I saw him put down the other
day with an ordinary fool that has no more brain
than a stone . Look you now , he’s out of his guard
already . Unless you laugh and minister occasion to
him , he is gagged . I protest I take these wise men
that crow so at these set kind of Fools no better than
the Fools’ zanies .
with a distempered appetite . To be generous , guiltless ,
and of free disposition is to take those things
for bird-bolts that you deem cannon bullets . There
is no slander in an allowed Fool , though he do
nothing but rail ; nor no railing in a known discreet
man , though he do nothing but reprove .
speak’st well of Fools !
much desires to speak with you .
well attended .
but madman . Fie on him ! Maria exits . Go you ,
Malvolio . If it be a suit from the Count , I am sick ,
[33] ACT 1. SC. 5 or not at home ; what you will , to dismiss it . ( Malvolio
exits . ) Now you see , sir , how your fooling
grows old , and people dislike it .
son should be a Fool , whose skull Jove cram with
brains , for — here he comes — one of thy kin has a
most weak pia mater .
gate , cousin ?
herring ! — How now , sot ?
this lethargy ?
me faith , say I . Well , it’s all one .
draught above heat makes him a fool , the second
mads him , and a third drowns him .
my coz , for he’s in the third degree of drink : he’s
drowned . Go look after him .
look to the madman .
speak with you . I told him you were sick ; he takes
[35] ACT 1. SC. 5 on him to understand so much , and therefore
comes to speak with you . I told him you were
asleep ; he seems to have a foreknowledge of that
too , and therefore comes to speak with you . What is
to be said to him , lady ? He’s fortified against any
denial .
your door like a sheriff’s post and be the supporter
to a bench , but he’ll speak with you .
will you or no .
enough for a boy — as a squash is before ’tis a
peascod , or a codling when ’tis almost an apple . ’Tis
with him in standing water , between boy and man .
He is very well-favored , and he speaks very shrewishly .
One would think his mother’s milk were
scarce out of him .
We’ll once more hear Orsino’s embassy .
[37]ACT 1. SC. 5
beauty — I pray you , tell me if this be the lady of the
house , for I never saw her . I would be loath to cast
away my speech , for , besides that it is excellently
well penned , I have taken great pains to con it . Good
beauties , let me sustain no scorn . I am very comptible
even to the least sinister usage .
that question’s out of my part . Good gentle one ,
give me modest assurance if you be the lady of the
house , that I may proceed in my speech .
fangs of malice I swear I am not that I play . Are
you the lady of the house ?
yourself , for what is yours to bestow is not yours to
reserve . But this is from my commission . I will on
with my speech in your praise and then show you
the heart of my message .
the praise .
poetical .
keep it in . I heard you were saucy at my gates , and
allowed your approach rather to wonder at you than
to hear you . If you be not mad , begone ; if you have
reason , be brief . ’Tis not that time of moon with me
to make one in so skipping a dialogue .
[39] ACT 1. SC. 5 longer . — Some mollification for your giant , sweet
lady .
when the courtesy of it is so fearful . Speak your
office .
of war , no taxation of homage . I hold the olive in
my hand . My words are as full of peace as matter .
would you ?
learned from my entertainment . What I am and
what I would are as secret as maidenhead : to your
ears , divinity ; to any other’s , profanation .
divinity . Maria and Attendants exit . Now , sir , what
is your text ?
of it . Where lies your text ?
to say ?
negotiate with my face ? You are now out of your
text . But we will draw the curtain and show you the
picture . She removes her veil . Look you , sir , such a
one I was this present . Is ’t not well done ?
weather .
[41]ACT 1. SC. 5
Nature’s own sweet and cunning hand laid on .
Lady , you are the cruel’st she alive
If you will lead these graces to the grave
And leave the world no copy .
out divers schedules of my beauty . It shall be
inventoried and every particle and utensil labeled
to my will : as , item , two lips indifferent red ; item ,
two gray eyes with lids to them ; item , one neck , one
chin , and so forth . Were you sent hither to praise
me ?
But if you were the devil you are fair .
My lord and master loves you . O , such love
Could be but recompensed though you were
crowned
The nonpareil of beauty .
With groans that thunder love , with sighs of fire .
Yet I suppose him virtuous , know him noble ,
Of great estate , of fresh and stainless youth ;
In voices well divulged , free , learned , and valiant ,
And in dimension and the shape of nature
A gracious person . But yet I cannot love him .
He might have took his answer long ago .
With such a suff’ring , such a deadly life ,
In your denial I would find no sense .
I would not understand it .
[43]ACT 1. SC. 5
And call upon my soul within the house ,
Write loyal cantons of contemnèd love
And sing them loud even in the dead of night ,
Hallow your name to the reverberate hills
And make the babbling gossip of the air
Cry out ‘Olivia !’ O , you should not rest
Between the elements of air and earth
But you should pity me .
What is your parentage ?
I am a gentleman .
I cannot love him . Let him send no more —
Unless perchance you come to me again
To tell me how he takes it . Fare you well .
I thank you for your pains . Spend this for me .
My master , not myself , lacks recompense .
Love make his heart of flint that you shall love ,
And let your fervor , like my master’s , be
Placed in contempt . Farewell , fair cruelty .
‘Above my fortunes , yet my state is well .
I am a gentleman .’ I’ll be sworn thou art .
Thy tongue , thy face , thy limbs , actions , and spirit
Do give thee fivefold blazon . Not too fast ! Soft ,
soft !
Unless the master were the man . How now ?
Even so quickly may one catch the plague ?
[45] ACT 1. SC. 5 Methinks I feel this youth’s perfections
With an invisible and subtle stealth
To creep in at mine eyes . Well , let it be . —
What ho , Malvolio !
The County’s man . He left this ring behind him ,
Would I or not . Tell him I’ll none of it .
Desire him not to flatter with his lord ,
Nor hold him up with hopes . I am not for him .
If that the youth will come this way tomorrow ,
I’ll give him reasons for ’t . Hie thee , Malvolio .
Mine eye too great a flatterer for my mind .
Fate , show thy force . Ourselves we do not owe .
What is decreed must be , and be this so .
ACT 2
Scene 1
I go with you ?
over me . The malignancy of my fate might perhaps
distemper yours . Therefore I shall crave of you your
leave that I may bear my evils alone . It were a bad
recompense for your love to lay any of them on you .
bound .
mere extravagancy . But I perceive in you so excellent
a touch of modesty that you will not extort
from me what I am willing to keep in . Therefore it
charges me in manners the rather to express myself .
You must know of me , then , Antonio , my name
is Sebastian , which I called Roderigo . My father was
that Sebastian of Messaline whom I know you have
heard of . He left behind him myself and a sister ,
both born in an hour . If the heavens had been
pleased , would we had so ended ! But you , sir ,
altered that , for some hour before you took me
from the breach of the sea was my sister drowned .
[51]ACT 2. SC. 2
resembled me , was yet of many accounted beautiful .
But though I could not with such estimable
wonder overfar believe that , yet thus far I will boldly
publish her : she bore a mind that envy could not but
call fair . She is drowned already , sir , with salt water ,
though I seem to drown her remembrance again
with more .
be your servant .
that is , kill him whom you have recovered — desire
it not . Fare you well at once . My bosom is full of
kindness , and I am yet so near the manners of my
mother that , upon the least occasion more , mine
eyes will tell tales of me . I am bound to the Count
Orsino’s court . Farewell .
I have many enemies in Orsino’s court ,
Else would I very shortly see thee there .
But come what may , I do adore thee so
That danger shall seem sport , and I will go .
Scene 2
Olivia ?
arrived but hither .
[53] ACT 2. SC. 2 have saved me my pains to have taken it away
yourself . She adds , moreover , that you should put
your lord into a desperate assurance she will none
of him . And one thing more , that you be never so
hardy to come again in his affairs unless it be to
report your lord’s taking of this . Receive it so .
her will is it should be so returned . He throws
down the ring . If it be worth stooping for , there it
lies in your eye ; if not , be it his that finds it .
Fortune forbid my outside have not charmed her !
She made good view of me , indeed so much
That methought her eyes had lost her tongue ,
For she did speak in starts distractedly .
She loves me , sure ! The cunning of her passion
Invites me in this churlish messenger .
None of my lord’s ring ? Why , he sent her none !
I am the man . If it be so , as ’tis ,
Poor lady , she were better love a dream .
Disguise , I see thou art a wickedness
Wherein the pregnant enemy does much .
How easy is it for the proper false
In women’s waxen hearts to set their forms !
Alas , our frailty is the cause , not we ,
For such as we are made of , such we be .
How will this fadge ? My master loves her dearly ,
And I , poor monster , fond as much on him ,
And she , mistaken , seems to dote on me .
What will become of this ? As I am man ,
My state is desperate for my master’s love .
As I am woman ( now , alas the day ! ) ,
[55] ACT 2. SC. 3 What thriftless sighs shall poor Olivia breathe !
O Time , thou must untangle this , not I .
It is too hard a knot for me t’ untie .
Scene 3
midnight is to be up betimes , and ‘diluculo surgere ,’
thou know’st —
be up late is to be up late .
be up after midnight and to go to bed then , is early ,
so that to go to bed after midnight is to go to bed
betimes . Does not our lives consist of the four
elements ?
of eating and drinking .
drink . Marian , I say , a stoup of wine !
picture of We Three ?
I had rather than forty shillings I had such a leg ,
and so sweet a breath to sing , as the Fool has . — In
sooth , thou wast in very gracious fooling last night
when thou spok’st of Pigrogromitus of the Vapians
passing the equinoctial of Queubus . ’Twas very
good , i’ faith . I sent thee sixpence for thy leman .
Hadst it ?
[57]ACT 2. SC. 3
is no whipstock , my lady has a white hand , and the
Myrmidons are no bottle-ale houses .
all is done . Now , a song !
sixpence for you . Let’s have a song .
me , too . If one knight give a —
life ?
O , stay and hear ! Your truelove’s coming ,
That can sing both high and low .
Trip no further , pretty sweeting .
Journeys end in lovers meeting ,
Every wise man’s son doth know .
Present mirth hath present laughter .
What’s to come is still unsure .
In delay there lies no plenty ,
Then come kiss me , sweet and twenty .
Youth’s a stuff will not endure .
But shall we make the welkin dance indeed ? Shall
we rouse the night owl in a catch that will draw
three souls out of one weaver ? Shall we do that ?
[59]ACT 2. SC. 3
catch .
Knave .’
constrained in ’t to call thee ‘knave ,’ knight .
to call me ‘knave .’ Begin , Fool . It begins ‘Hold
thy peace .’
lady have not called up her steward Malvolio and
bid him turn you out of doors , never trust me .
a Peg-a-Ramsey , and
we . Am not I consanguineous ? Am I not of her
blood ? Tillyvally ! ‘Lady’ !
in Babylon , lady , lady .
and so do I , too . He does it with a better grace , but
I do it more natural .
Have you no wit , manners , nor honesty but to
gabble like tinkers at this time of night ? Do you
make an ale-house of my lady’s house , that you
squeak out your coziers’ catches without any mitigation
or remorse of voice ? Is there no respect of
place , persons , nor time in you ?
[61]ACT 2. SC. 3
bade me tell you that , though she harbors you as her
kinsman , she’s nothing allied to your disorders . If
you can separate yourself and your misdemeanors ,
you are welcome to the house ; if not , an it would
please you to take leave of her , she is very willing to
bid you farewell .
steward ? Dost thou think , because thou art virtuous ,
there shall be no more cakes and ale ?
mouth , too .
with crumbs . — A stoup of wine , Maria !
at anything more than contempt , you would not give
[63] ACT 2. SC. 3 means for this uncivil rule . She shall know of it , by
this hand .
man’s a-hungry , to challenge him the field and
then to break promise with him and make a fool of
him .
deliver thy indignation to him by word of mouth .
youth of the Count’s was today with my lady , she is
much out of quiet . For Monsieur Malvolio , let me
alone with him . If I do not gull him into a nayword
and make him a common recreation , do not think I
have wit enough to lie straight in my bed . I know I
can do it .
dear knight ?
reason good enough .
constantly but a time-pleaser ; an affectioned ass
that cons state without book and utters it by great
swaths ; the best persuaded of himself , so crammed ,
as he thinks , with excellencies , that it is his grounds
of faith that all that look on him love him . And on
that vice in him will my revenge find notable cause
to work .
love , wherein by the color of his beard , the shape of
his leg , the manner of his gait , the expressure of his
eye , forehead , and complexion , he shall find himself
[65] ACT 2. SC. 3 most feelingly personated . I can write very like my
lady your niece ; on a forgotten matter , we can
hardly make distinction of our hands .
that they come from my niece , and that she’s in
love with him .
will work with him . I will plant you two , and let the
Fool make a third , where he shall find the letter .
Observe his construction of it . For this night , to bed ,
and dream on the event . Farewell .
me . What o’ that ?
more money .
out .
th’ end , call me ‘Cut .’
will .
late to go to bed now . Come , knight ; come , knight .
[67]ACT 2. SC. 4
Scene 4
morrow , friends . —
Now , good Cesario , but that piece of song ,
That old and antique song we heard last night .
Methought it did relieve my passion much ,
More than light airs and recollected terms
Of these most brisk and giddy-pacèd times .
Come , but one verse .
should sing it .
Olivia’s father took much delight in . He is about
the house .
while .
In the sweet pangs of it remember me ,
For such as I am , all true lovers are ,
Unstaid and skittish in all motions else
Save in the constant image of the creature
That is beloved . How dost thou like this tune ?
Where love is throned .
My life upon ’t , young though thou art , thine eye
Hath stayed upon some favor that it loves .
Hath it not , boy ?
[69]ACT 2. SC. 4
An elder than herself . So wears she to him ;
So sways she level in her husband’s heart .
For , boy , however we do praise ourselves ,
Our fancies are more giddy and unfirm ,
More longing , wavering , sooner lost and worn ,
Than women’s are .
Or thy affection cannot hold the bent .
For women are as roses , whose fair flower ,
Being once displayed , doth fall that very hour .
To die even when they to perfection grow !
Mark it , Cesario . It is old and plain ;
The spinsters and the knitters in the sun
And the free maids that weave their thread with
bones
Do use to chant it . It is silly sooth ,
And dallies with the innocence of love
Like the old age .
[71]ACT 2. SC. 4The Song .
And in sad cypress let me be laid .
Fly away , fly away , breath ,
I am slain by a fair cruel maid .
My shroud of white , stuck all with yew ,
O , prepare it !
My part of death , no one so true
Did share it .
Not a flower , not a flower sweet
On my black coffin let there be strown ;
Not a friend , not a friend greet
My poor corpse where my bones shall be thrown .
A thousand thousand sighs to save ,
Lay me , O , where
Sad true lover never find my grave
To weep there .
another .
tailor make thy doublet of changeable taffeta , for thy
mind is a very opal . I would have men of such
constancy put to sea , that their business might be
everything and their intent everywhere , for that’s it
that always makes a good voyage of nothing .
Farewell .
Once more , Cesario ,
[73] ACT 2. SC. 4 Get thee to yond same sovereign cruelty .
Tell her my love , more noble than the world ,
Prizes not quantity of dirty lands .
The parts that Fortune hath bestowed upon her ,
Tell her , I hold as giddily as Fortune .
But ’tis that miracle and queen of gems
That nature pranks her in attracts my soul .
Say that some lady , as perhaps there is ,
Hath for your love as great a pang of heart
As you have for Olivia . You cannot love her ;
You tell her so . Must she not then be answered ?
Can bide the beating of so strong a passion
As love doth give my heart ; no woman’s heart
So big , to hold so much ; they lack retention .
Alas , their love may be called appetite ,
No motion of the liver but the palate ,
That suffer surfeit , cloyment , and revolt ;
But mine is all as hungry as the sea ,
And can digest as much . Make no compare
Between that love a woman can bear me
And that I owe Olivia .
In faith , they are as true of heart as we .
My father had a daughter loved a man
As it might be , perhaps , were I a woman ,
I should your Lordship .
[75]ACT 2. SC. 5
But let concealment , like a worm i’ th’ bud ,
Feed on her damask cheek . She pined in thought ,
And with a green and yellow melancholy
She sat like Patience on a monument ,
Smiling at grief . Was not this love indeed ?
We men may say more , swear more , but indeed
Our shows are more than will ; for still we prove
Much in our vows but little in our love .
And all the brothers , too — and yet I know not .
Sir , shall I to this lady ?
To her in haste . Give her this jewel . Say
My love can give no place , bide no denay .
Scene 5
let me be boiled to death with melancholy .
rascally sheep-biter come by some notable shame ?
out o’ favor with my lady about a bearbaiting here .
will fool him black and blue , shall we not , Sir
Andrew ?
[77]ACT 2. SC. 5
metal of India ?
coming down this walk . He has been yonder i’ the
sun practicing behavior to his own shadow this half
hour . Observe him , for the love of mockery , for I
know this letter will make a contemplative idiot of
him . Close , in the name of jesting ! They hide . Lie
thou there putting down the letter , for here comes
the trout that must be caught with tickling .
told me she did affect me , and I have heard herself
come thus near , that should she fancy , it should be
one of my complexion . Besides , she uses me with a
more exalted respect than anyone else that follows
her . What should I think on ’t ?
turkeycock of him . How he jets under his advanced
plumes !
Strachy married the yeoman of the wardrobe .
imagination blows him .
[79]ACT 2. SC. 5
sitting in my state —
branched velvet gown , having come from a daybed
where I have left Olivia sleeping —
after a demure travel of regard , telling them I
know my place , as I would they should do theirs , to
ask for my kinsman Toby —
make out for him . I frown the while , and perchance
wind up my watch , or play with my — some
rich jewel . Toby approaches ; curtsies there to me —
with cars , yet peace !
my familiar smile with an austere regard of
control —
lips then ?
cast me on your niece , give me this prerogative of
speech —’
of our plot !
time with a foolish knight —’
[81]ACT 2. SC. 5
fool .
we here ?
reading aloud to him .
lady’s hand ! These be her very c’s , her u’s , and her
t’s , and thus she makes her great P’s . It is in
contempt of question her hand .
good wishes — Her very phrases ! By your leave , wax .
Soft . And the impressure her Lucrece , with which
she uses to seal — ’tis my lady ! He opens the letter .
To whom should this be ?
But who ?
Lips , do not move ;
No man must know .
‘No man must know .’ What follows ? The numbers
altered . ‘No man must know .’ If this should be
thee , Malvolio !
But silence , like a Lucrece knife ,
With bloodless stroke my heart doth gore ;
M . O . A . I . doth sway my life .
[83]ACT 2. SC. 5
let me see , let me see , let me see .
him !
at it !
may command me ; I serve her ; she is my lady . Why ,
this is evident to any formal capacity . There is no
obstruction in this . And the end — what should that
alphabetical position portend ? If I could make that
resemble something in me ! Softly ! ‘M . O . A . I .’ —
scent .
though it be as rank as a fox .
my name !
cur is excellent at faults .
the sequel that suffers under probation . ‘A’ should
follow , but ‘O’ does .
‘O .’
might see more detraction at your heels than fortunes
before you .
former , and yet to crush this a little , it would bow
to me , for every one of these letters are in my name .
Soft , here follows prose .
stars I am above thee , but be not afraid of greatness .
[85] ACT 2. SC. 5 Some are born great , some achieve greatness , and
some have greatness thrust upon ’em . Thy fates open
their hands . Let thy blood and spirit embrace them .
And , to inure thyself to what thou art like to be , cast
thy humble slough and appear fresh . Be opposite with
a kinsman , surly with servants . Let thy tongue tang
arguments of state . Put thyself into the trick of singularity .
She thus advises thee that sighs for thee .
Remember who commended thy yellow stockings and
wished to see thee ever cross-gartered . I say , remember .
Go to , thou art made , if thou desir’st to be so . If
not , let me see thee a steward still , the fellow of
servants , and not worthy to touch Fortune’s fingers .
Farewell . She that would alter services with thee ,
The Fortunate-Unhappy .
Daylight and champian discovers not more ! This is
open . I will be proud , I will read politic authors , I
will baffle Sir Toby , I will wash off gross acquaintance ,
I will be point-devise the very man . I do not
now fool myself , to let imagination jade me ; for
every reason excites to this , that my lady loves me .
She did commend my yellow stockings of late , she
did praise my leg being cross-gartered , and in this
she manifests herself to my love and , with a kind of
injunction , drives me to these habits of her liking . I
thank my stars , I am happy . I will be strange , stout ,
in yellow stockings , and cross-gartered , even with
the swiftness of putting on . Jove and my stars be
praised ! Here is yet a postscript .
am . If thou entertain’st my love , let it appear in thy
smiling ; thy smiles become thee well . Therefore in my
presence still smile , dear my sweet , I prithee .
Jove , I thank thee ! I will smile . I will do everything
that thou wilt have me .
[87]ACT 2. SC. 5
pension of thousands to be paid from the Sophy .
another jest .
thy bondslave ?
when the image of it leaves him he must run mad .
mark his first approach before my lady . He will
come to her in yellow stockings , and ’tis a color
she abhors , and cross-gartered , a fashion she detests ;
and he will smile upon her , which will now
be so unsuitable to her disposition , being addicted
to a melancholy as she is , that it cannot
but turn him into a notable contempt . If you will
see it , follow me .
of wit !
ACT 3
Scene 1
by thy tabor ?
do live at my house , and my house doth stand by the
church .
beggar dwell near him , or the church stands by thy
tabor if thy tabor stand by the church .
but a chev’ril glove to a good wit . How quickly the
wrong side may be turned outward !
words may quickly make them wanton .
sir .
that word might make my sister wanton . But ,
indeed , words are very rascals since bonds disgraced
them .
[93]ACT 3. SC. 1
and words are grown so false I am loath to prove
reason with them .
nothing .
conscience , sir , I do not care for you . If that be to
care for nothing , sir , I would it would make you
invisible .
will keep no Fool , sir , till she be married , and Fools
are as like husbands as pilchers are to herrings : the
husband’s the bigger . I am indeed not her Fool but
her corrupter of words .
sun ; it shines everywhere . I would be sorry , sir , but
the Fool should be as oft with your master as with
my mistress . I think I saw your Wisdom there .
thee . Hold , there’s expenses for thee . Giving a
coin .
thee a beard !
one ,
chin . — Is thy lady within ?
bring a Cressida to this Troilus .
another coin .
beggar : Cressida was a beggar . My lady is within , sir .
[95] ACT 3. SC. 1 I will conster to them whence you come . Who you
are and what you would are out of my welkin — I
might say ‘element ,’ but the word is overworn .
And to do that well craves a kind of wit .
He must observe their mood on whom he jests ,
The quality of persons , and the time ,
And , like the haggard , check at every feather
That comes before his eye . This is a practice
As full of labor as a wise man’s art :
For folly that he wisely shows is fit ;
But wise men , folly-fall’n , quite taint their wit .
desirous you should enter , if your trade be to her .
list of my voyage .
understand what you mean by bidding me taste my
legs .
we are prevented .
Most excellent accomplished lady , the heavens rain
odors on you !
[97]ACT 3. SC. 1
odors ,’ well .
most pregnant and vouchsafed ear .
I’ll get ’em all three all ready .
my hearing .
Give me your hand , sir .
Since lowly feigning was called compliment .
You’re servant to the Count Orsino , youth .
Your servant’s servant is your servant , madam .
Would they were blanks rather than filled with me .
On his behalf .
I bade you never speak again of him .
But would you undertake another suit ,
I had rather hear you to solicit that
Than music from the spheres .
After the last enchantment you did here ,
[99] ACT 3. SC. 1 A ring in chase of you . So did I abuse
Myself , my servant , and , I fear me , you .
Under your hard construction must I sit ,
To force that on you in a shameful cunning
Which you knew none of yours . What might you
think ?
Have you not set mine honor at the stake
And baited it with all th’ unmuzzled thoughts
That tyrannous heart can think ? To one of your
receiving
Enough is shown . A cypress , not a bosom ,
Hides my heart . So , let me hear you speak .
That very oft we pity enemies .
O world , how apt the poor are to be proud !
If one should be a prey , how much the better
To fall before the lion than the wolf .
The clock upbraids me with the waste of time .
Be not afraid , good youth , I will not have you .
And yet when wit and youth is come to harvest ,
Your wife is like to reap a proper man .
There lies your way , due west .
Grace and good disposition attend your Ladyship .
You’ll nothing , madam , to my lord by me ?
[101]ACT 3. SC. 1
I wish it might , for now I am your fool .
In the contempt and anger of his lip !
A murd’rous guilt shows not itself more soon
Than love that would seem hid . Love’s night is
noon . —
Cesario , by the roses of the spring ,
By maidhood , honor , truth , and everything ,
I love thee so , that , maugre all thy pride ,
Nor wit nor reason can my passion hide .
Do not extort thy reasons from this clause ,
For that I woo , thou therefore hast no cause ;
But rather reason thus with reason fetter :
Love sought is good , but given unsought is better .
I have one heart , one bosom , and one truth ,
And that no woman has , nor never none
Shall mistress be of it , save I alone .
And so adieu , good madam . Nevermore
Will I my master’s tears to you deplore .
That heart , which now abhors , to like his love .
[103]ACT 3. SC. 2
Scene 2
Count’s servingman than ever she bestowed upon
me . I saw ’t i’ th’ orchard .
that .
you .
judgment and reason .
Noah was a sailor .
only to exasperate you , to awake your dormouse
valor , to put fire in your heart and brimstone in
your liver . You should then have accosted her , and
with some excellent jests , fire-new from the mint ,
you should have banged the youth into dumbness .
This was looked for at your hand , and this was
balked . The double gilt of this opportunity you let
time wash off , and you are now sailed into the north
of my lady’s opinion , where you will hang like an
icicle on a Dutchman’s beard , unless you do redeem
it by some laudable attempt either of valor or
policy .
policy I hate . I had as lief be a Brownist as a
politician .
[105] ACT 3. SC. 2 of valor . Challenge me the Count’s youth to fight
with him . Hurt him in eleven places . My niece shall
take note of it , and assure thyself there is no
love-broker in the world can more prevail in man’s
commendation with woman than report of valor .
brief . It is no matter how witty , so it be eloquent
and full of invention . Taunt him with the license of
ink . If thou ‘thou’-est him some thrice , it shall not
be amiss , and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of
paper , although the sheet were big enough for the
bed of Ware in England , set ’em down . Go , about it .
Let there be gall enough in thy ink , though thou
write with a goose-pen , no matter . About it .
strong or so .
not deliver ’t ?
the youth to an answer . I think oxen and wainropes
cannot hale them together . For Andrew , if he were
opened and you find so much blood in his liver as
will clog the foot of a flea , I’ll eat the rest of th’
anatomy .
no great presage of cruelty .
[107] ACT 3. SC. 3 into stitches , follow me . Yond gull Malvolio is
turned heathen , a very renegado ; for there is no
Christian that means to be saved by believing rightly
can ever believe such impossible passages of grossness .
He’s in yellow stockings .
school i’ th’ church . I have dogged him like his
murderer . He does obey every point of the letter
that I dropped to betray him . He does smile his face
into more lines than is in the new map with the
augmentation of the Indies . You have not seen such
a thing as ’tis . I can hardly forbear hurling things at
him . I know my lady will strike him . If she do , he’ll
smile and take ’t for a great favor .
Scene 3
But , since you make your pleasure of your pains ,
I will no further chide you .
More sharp than filèd steel , did spur me forth ;
And not all love to see you , though so much
As might have drawn one to a longer voyage ,
But jealousy what might befall your travel ,
Being skill-less in these parts , which to a stranger ,
Unguided and unfriended , often prove
Rough and unhospitable . My willing love ,
The rather by these arguments of fear ,
Set forth in your pursuit .
[109]ACT 3. SC. 3
I can no other answer make but thanks ,
And thanks , and ever thanks ; and oft good turns
Are shuffled off with such uncurrent pay .
But were my worth , as is my conscience , firm ,
You should find better dealing . What’s to do ?
Shall we go see the relics of this town ?
I pray you , let us satisfy our eyes
With the memorials and the things of fame
That do renown this city .
I do not without danger walk these streets .
Once in a sea fight ’gainst the Count his galleys
I did some service , of such note indeed
That were I ta’en here it would scarce be answered .
Albeit the quality of the time and quarrel
Might well have given us bloody argument .
It might have since been answered in repaying
What we took from them , which , for traffic’s sake ,
Most of our city did . Only myself stood out ,
For which , if I be lapsèd in this place ,
I shall pay dear .
In the south suburbs , at the Elephant ,
Is best to lodge . I will bespeak our diet
[111] ACT 3. SC. 4 Whiles you beguile the time and feed your
knowledge
With viewing of the town . There shall you have me .
You have desire to purchase , and your store ,
I think , is not for idle markets , sir .
For an hour .
Scene 4
How shall I feast him ? What bestow of him ?
For youth is bought more oft than begged or
borrowed .
I speak too loud . —
Where’s Malvolio ? He is sad and civil
And suits well for a servant with my fortunes .
Where is Malvolio ?
He is sure possessed , madam .
Ladyship were best to have some guard about you if
he come , for sure the man is tainted in ’s wits .
If sad and merry madness equal be .
[113] ACT 3. SC. 4
How now , Malvolio ?
occasion .
some obstruction in the blood , this cross-gartering ,
but what of that ? If it please the eye of one , it is
with me as the very true sonnet is : ‘Please one , and
please all .’
with thee ?
legs . It did come to his hands , and commands shall
be executed . I think we do know the sweet Roman
hand .
thee .’
kiss thy hand so oft ?
daws !
before my lady ?
writ .
them .’
[115]ACT 3. SC. 4
stockings —’
so —’
Orsino’s is returned . I could hardly entreat him
back . He attends your Ladyship’s pleasure .
this fellow be looked to . Where’s my Cousin Toby ?
Let some of my people have a special care of him . I
would not have him miscarry for the half of my
dowry .
man than Sir Toby to look to me . This concurs
directly with the letter . She sends him on purpose
that I may appear stubborn to him , for she incites
me to that in the letter : ‘Cast thy humble slough ,’
says she . ‘Be opposite with a kinsman , surly with
servants ; let thy tongue tang with arguments of
state ; put thyself into the trick of singularity ,’ and
consequently sets down the manner how : as , a sad
face , a reverend carriage , a slow tongue , in the habit
of some Sir of note , and so forth . I have limed her ,
but it is Jove’s doing , and Jove make me thankful !
And when she went away now , ‘Let this fellow be
looked to .’ ‘Fellow !’ Not ‘Malvolio ,’ nor after my
[117] ACT 3. SC. 4 degree , but ‘fellow .’ Why , everything adheres together ,
that no dram of a scruple , no scruple of a
scruple , no obstacle , no incredulous or unsafe
circumstance — what can be said ? Nothing that can
be can come between me and the full prospect of
my hopes . Well , Jove , not I , is the doer of this , and
he is to be thanked .
the devils of hell be drawn in little , and Legion
himself possessed him , yet I’ll speak to him .
How is ’t with you , man ?
private . Go off .
within him ! Did not I tell you ? Sir Toby , my lady
prays you to have a care of him .
We must deal gently with him . Let me alone . — How
do you , Malvolio ? How is ’t with you ? What , man ,
defy the devil ! Consider , he’s an enemy to mankind .
how he takes it at heart ! Pray God he be not
bewitched !
if I live . My lady would not lose him for more than
I’ll say .
you not see you move him ? Let me alone with
him .
[119]ACT 3. SC. 4
fiend is rough and will not be roughly used .
dost thou , chuck ?
for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan . Hang
him , foul collier !
him to pray .
godliness .
things . I am not of your element . You shall
know more hereafter .
condemn it as an improbable fiction .
device , man .
and taint .
bound . My niece is already in the belief that he’s
mad . We may carry it thus , for our pleasure and his
penance , till our very pastime , tired out of breath ,
prompt us to have mercy on him , at which time we
will bring the device to the bar and crown thee for a
finder of madmen . But see , but see !
Read it . I warrant there’s vinegar and pepper in ’t .
[121]ACT 3. SC. 4
thou art but a scurvy fellow .
why I do call thee so , for I will show thee no reason
for ’t .
the law .
sight she uses thee kindly . But thou liest in thy throat ;
that is not the matter I challenge thee for .
thy chance to kill me —
Good .
one of our souls . He may have mercy upon mine , but
my hope is better , and so look to thyself . Thy friend , as
thou usest him , and thy sworn enemy ,
Andrew Aguecheek .
If this letter move him not , his legs cannot . I’ll
give ’t him .
in some commerce with my lady and will by and
by depart .
of the orchard like a bum-baily . So soon as ever
thou seest him , draw , and as thou draw’st , swear
horrible , for it comes to pass oft that a terrible oath ,
with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off , gives
manhood more approbation than ever proof itself
would have earned him . Away !
[123]ACT 3. SC. 4
of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good
capacity and breeding ; his employment between
his lord and my niece confirms no less . Therefore ,
this letter , being so excellently ignorant , will breed
no terror in the youth . He will find it comes from a
clodpoll . But , sir , I will deliver his challenge by
word of mouth , set upon Aguecheek a notable
report of valor , and drive the gentleman ( as I know
his youth will aptly receive it ) into a most hideous
opinion of his rage , skill , fury , and impetuosity . This
will so fright them both that they will kill one
another by the look , like cockatrices .
way till he take leave , and presently after him .
message for a challenge .
And laid mine honor too unchary on ’t .
There’s something in me that reproves my fault ,
But such a headstrong potent fault it is
That it but mocks reproof .
Goes on my master’s griefs .
Refuse it not . It hath no tongue to vex you .
And I beseech you come again tomorrow .
What shall you ask of me that I’ll deny ,
That honor , saved , may upon asking give ?
[125]ACT 3. SC. 4
Which I have given to you ?
A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell .
nature the wrongs are thou hast done him , I know
not , but thy intercepter , full of despite , bloody as
the hunter , attends thee at the orchard end . Dismount
thy tuck , be yare in thy preparation , for thy
assailant is quick , skillful , and deadly .
quarrel to me . My remembrance is very free and
clear from any image of offense done to any man .
if you hold your life at any price , betake you to your
guard , for your opposite hath in him what youth ,
strength , skill , and wrath can furnish man withal .
on carpet consideration , but he is a devil in private
brawl . Souls and bodies hath he divorced three , and
his incensement at this moment is so implacable
that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death
and sepulcher . ‘Hob , nob’ is his word ; ‘give ’t or
take ’t .’
[127] ACT 3. SC. 4 some conduct of the lady . I am no fighter . I have
heard of some kind of men that put quarrels purposely
on others to taste their valor . Belike this is a
man of that quirk .
competent injury . Therefore get you on and give
him his desire . Back you shall not to the house ,
unless you undertake that with me which with as
much safety you might answer him . Therefore on ,
or strip your sword stark naked , for meddle you
must , that’s certain , or forswear to wear iron about
you .
me this courteous office , as to know of the knight
what my offense to him is . It is something of my
negligence , nothing of my purpose .
gentleman till my return .
to a mortal arbitrament , but nothing of the circumstance
more .
him by his form , as you are like to find him in the
proof of his valor . He is indeed , sir , the most skillful ,
bloody , and fatal opposite that you could possibly
have found in any part of Illyria . Will you walk
towards him ? I will make your peace with him if I
can .
that had rather go with Sir Priest than Sir Knight , I
care not who knows so much of my mettle .
[129]ACT 3. SC. 4
a firago . I had a pass with him , rapier , scabbard ,
and all , and he gives me the stuck-in with such
a mortal motion that it is inevitable ; and on the
answer , he pays you as surely as your feet hits the
ground they step on . They say he has been fencer
to the Sophy .
scarce hold him yonder .
valiant , and so cunning in fence , I’d have seen him
damned ere I’d have challenged him . Let him let
the matter slip , and I’ll give him my horse , gray
Capilet .
show on ’t . This shall end without the perdition of
souls .
ride you .
quarrel . I have persuaded him the youth’s a devil .
him , and pants and looks pale as if a bear were at his
heels .
with you for ’s oath sake . Marry , he hath better
bethought him of his quarrel , and he finds that now
scarce to be worth talking of . Therefore , draw for
the supportance of his vow . He protests he will not
hurt you .
would make me tell them how much I lack of a
man .
[131]ACT 3. SC. 4
gentleman will , for his honor’s sake , have one bout
with you . He cannot by the duello avoid it . But he
has promised me , as he is a gentleman and a soldier ,
he will not hurt you . Come on , to ’t .
oath !
Have done offense , I take the fault on me .
If you offend him , I for him defy you .
Than you have heard him brag to you he will .
you please .
you , I’ll be as good as my word . He will bear you
easily , and reins well .
Count Orsino .
[133]ACT 3. SC. 4
Though now you have no sea-cap on your head . —
Take him away . He knows I know him well .
you .
But there’s no remedy . I shall answer it .
What will you do , now my necessity
Makes me to ask you for my purse ? It grieves me
Much more for what I cannot do for you
Than what befalls myself . You stand amazed ,
But be of comfort .
For the fair kindness you have showed me here ,
And part being prompted by your present trouble ,
Out of my lean and low ability
I’ll lend you something . My having is not much .
I’ll make division of my present with you .
Hold , there’s half my coffer .
Is ’t possible that my deserts to you
Can lack persuasion ? Do not tempt my misery ,
Lest that it make me so unsound a man
As to upbraid you with those kindnesses
That I have done for you .
Nor know I you by voice or any feature .
I hate ingratitude more in a man
Than lying , vainness , babbling drunkenness ,
Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption
Inhabits our frail blood —
[135]ACT 3. SC. 4
I snatched one half out of the jaws of death ,
Relieved him with such sanctity of love ,
And to his image , which methought did promise
Most venerable worth , did I devotion .
Thou hast , Sebastian , done good feature shame .
In nature there’s no blemish but the mind ;
None can be called deformed but the unkind .
Virtue is beauty , but the beauteous evil
Are empty trunks o’erflourished by the devil .
come , sir .
That he believes himself ; so do not I .
Prove true , imagination , O , prove true ,
That I , dear brother , be now ta’en for you !
whisper o’er a couplet or two of most sage saws .
Yet living in my glass . Even such and so
In favor was my brother , and he went
Still in this fashion , color , ornament ,
For him I imitate . O , if it prove ,
Tempests are kind , and salt waves fresh in love !
[137]ACT 3. SC. 4
than a hare . His dishonesty appears in leaving his
friend here in necessity and denying him ; and for
his cowardship , ask Fabian .
in it .
sword .
ACT 4
Scene 1
you ?
me be clear of thee .
I am not sent to you by my lady to bid you come
speak with her , nor your name is not Master
Cesario , nor this is not my nose neither . Nothing
that is so is so .
Thou know’st not me .
great man and now applies it to a Fool . Vent my
folly ? I am afraid this great lubber the world will
prove a cockney . I prithee now , ungird thy strangeness
and tell me what I shall vent to my lady . Shall I
vent to her that thou art coming ?
There’s money for thee . Giving money . If you
tarry longer , I shall give worse payment .
men that give Fools money get themselves a good
report — after fourteen years’ purchase .
[143]ACT 4. SC. 1
There’s for you .
and there , and there . — Are all the people mad ?
house .
not be in some of your coats for twopence .
work with him . I’ll have an action of battery against
him , if there be any law in Illyria . Though I struck
him first , yet it’s no matter for that .
soldier , put up your iron . You are well fleshed .
Come on .
What wouldst thou now ?
If thou dar’st tempt me further , draw thy sword .
two of this malapert blood from you .
Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves ,
[145] ACT 4. SC. 2 Where manners ne’er were preached ! Out of my
sight ! —
Be not offended , dear Cesario . —
Rudesby , begone !
I prithee , gentle friend ,
Let thy fair wisdom , not thy passion , sway
In this uncivil and unjust extent
Against thy peace . Go with me to my house ,
And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks
This ruffian hath botched up , that thou thereby
Mayst smile at this . Thou shalt not choose but go .
Do not deny . Beshrew his soul for me !
He started one poor heart of mine , in thee .
Or I am mad , or else this is a dream .
Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep ;
If it be thus to dream , still let me sleep !
me !
Scene 2
make him believe thou art Sir Topas the curate . Do
it quickly . I’ll call Sir Toby the whilst .
’t , and I would I were the first that ever dissembled
in such a gown . He puts on gown and beard . I am
[147] ACT 4. SC. 2 not tall enough to become the function well , nor
lean enough to be thought a good student , but to be
said an honest man and a good housekeeper goes as
fairly as to say a careful man and a great scholar .
The competitors enter .
Prague , that never saw pen and ink , very wittily said
to a niece of King Gorboduc ‘That that is , is ,’ so I ,
being Master Parson , am Master Parson ; for what is
‘that’ but ‘that’ and ‘is’ but ‘is’ ?
prison !
the lunatic .
my lady —
man ! Talkest thou nothing but of ladies ?
Good Sir Topas , do not think I am mad . They have
laid me here in hideous darkness —
modest terms , for I am one of those gentle ones
that will use the devil himself with courtesy . Sayst
thou that house is dark ?
[149]ACT 4. SC. 2
and the clerestories toward the south-north
are as lustrous as ebony ; and yet complainest
thou of obstruction ?
house is dark .
but ignorance , in which thou art more puzzled than
the Egyptians in their fog .
though ignorance were as dark as hell . And I say
there was never man thus abused . I am no more
mad than you are . Make the trial of it in any
constant question .
wildfowl ?
inhabit a bird .
approve his opinion .
Thou shalt hold th’ opinion of Pythagoras ere I will
allow of thy wits , and fear to kill a woodcock lest
thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam . Fare thee
well .
and gown . He sees thee not .
how thou find’st him . I would we were well rid
of this knavery . If he may be conveniently delivered ,
I would he were , for I am now so far in
offense with my niece that I cannot pursue with
[151] ACT 4. SC. 2 any safety this sport the upshot . Come by and by
to my chamber .
Tell me how thy lady does .
Who calls , ha ?
my hand , help me to a candle , and pen , ink , and
paper . As I am a gentleman , I will live to be thankful
to thee for ’t .
abused . I am as well in my wits , Fool , as thou art .
no better in your wits than a Fool .
darkness , send ministers to me — asses ! — and do
all they can to face me out of my wits .
wits the heavens restore . Endeavor thyself to sleep
and leave thy vain bibble-babble .
[153]ACT 4. SC. 2
fellow .
you , good Sir Topas .
shent for speaking to you .
paper . I tell thee , I am as well in my wits as any
man in Illyria .
paper , and light ; and convey what I will set down to
my lady . It shall advantage thee more than ever the
bearing of letter did .
mad indeed , or do you but counterfeit ?
brains . I will fetch you light and paper and ink .
prithee , begone .
I’ll be with you again ,
In a trice , like to the old Vice ,
Your need to sustain .
Who with dagger of lath , in his rage and his wrath ,
Cries ‘aha !’ to the devil ;
Like a mad lad , ‘Pare thy nails , dad !
Adieu , goodman devil .’
[155]ACT 4. SC. 3
Scene 3
This pearl she gave me , I do feel ’t and see ’t .
And though ’tis wonder that enwraps me thus ,
Yet ’tis not madness . Where’s Antonio , then ?
I could not find him at the Elephant .
Yet there he was ; and there I found this credit ,
That he did range the town to seek me out .
His counsel now might do me golden service .
For though my soul disputes well with my sense
That this may be some error , but no madness ,
Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune
So far exceed all instance , all discourse ,
That I am ready to distrust mine eyes
And wrangle with my reason that persuades me
To any other trust but that I am mad —
Or else the lady’s mad . Yet if ’twere so ,
She could not sway her house , command her
followers ,
Take and give back affairs and their dispatch
With such a smooth , discreet , and stable bearing
As I perceive she does . There’s something in ’t
That is deceivable . But here the lady comes .
Now go with me and with this holy man
Into the chantry by . There , before him
And underneath that consecrated roof ,
Plight me the full assurance of your faith ,
That my most jealous and too doubtful soul
May live at peace . He shall conceal it
[157] ACT 4. SC. 3 Whiles you are willing it shall come to note ,
What time we will our celebration keep
According to my birth . What do you say ?
And , having sworn truth , ever will be true .
shine
That they may fairly note this act of mine .
ACT 5
Scene 1
my dog again .
for my friends .
Now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass ; so that by
my foes , sir , I profit in the knowledge of myself , and
by my friends I am abused . So that , conclusions to
be as kisses , if your four negatives make your two
[163] ACT 5. SC. 1 affirmatives , why then the worse for my friends and
the better for my foes .
one of my friends .
you could make it another .
and let your flesh and blood obey it .
double-dealer : there’s another .
saying is , the third pays for all . The triplex , sir , is a
good tripping measure , or the bells of Saint Bennet ,
sir , may put you in mind — one , two , three .
throw . If you will let your lady know I am here to
speak with her , and bring her along with you , it
may awake my bounty further .
again . I go , sir , but I would not have you to think
that my desire of having is the sin of covetousness .
But , as you say , sir , let your bounty take a nap . I
will awake it anon .
Yet when I saw it last , it was besmeared
As black as Vulcan in the smoke of war .
A baubling vessel was he captain of ,
[165] ACT 5. SC. 1 For shallow draught and bulk unprizable ,
With which such scatheful grapple did he make
With the most noble bottom of our fleet
That very envy and the tongue of loss
Cried fame and honor on him . — What’s the matter ?
That took the Phoenix and her fraught from Candy ,
And this is he that did the Tiger board
When your young nephew Titus lost his leg .
Here in the streets , desperate of shame and state ,
In private brabble did we apprehend him .
But in conclusion put strange speech upon me .
I know not what ’twas but distraction .
What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies
Whom thou , in terms so bloody and so dear ,
Hast made thine enemies ?
Be pleased that I shake off these names you give
me .
Antonio never yet was thief or pirate ,
Though , I confess , on base and ground enough ,
Orsino’s enemy . A witchcraft drew me hither .
That most ingrateful boy there by your side
From the rude sea’s enraged and foamy mouth
Did I redeem ; a wrack past hope he was .
His life I gave him and did thereto add
My love , without retention or restraint ,
All his in dedication . For his sake
Did I expose myself , pure for his love ,
Into the danger of this adverse town ;
Drew to defend him when he was beset ;
[167] ACT 5. SC. 1 Where , being apprehended , his false cunning
( Not meaning to partake with me in danger )
Taught him to face me out of his acquaintance
And grew a twenty years’ removèd thing
While one would wink ; denied me mine own purse ,
Which I had recommended to his use
Not half an hour before .
No int’rim , not a minute’s vacancy ,
Both day and night did we keep company .
Earth ! —
But for thee , fellow : fellow , thy words are madness .
Three months this youth hath tended upon me —
But more of that anon .
aside .
Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable ? —
Cesario , you do not keep promise with me .
It is as fat and fulsome to mine ear
As howling after music .
[169]ACT 5. SC. 1
To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars
My soul the faithful’st off’rings have breathed out
That e’er devotion tendered — what shall I do ?
Like to th’ Egyptian thief at point of death ,
Kill what I love ? — a savage jealousy
That sometime savors nobly . But hear me this :
Since you to nonregardance cast my faith ,
And that I partly know the instrument
That screws me from my true place in your favor ,
Live you the marble-breasted tyrant still .
But this your minion , whom I know you love ,
And whom , by heaven I swear , I tender dearly ,
Him will I tear out of that cruel eye
Where he sits crownèd in his master’s spite . —
Come , boy , with me . My thoughts are ripe in
mischief .
I’ll sacrifice the lamb that I do love
To spite a raven’s heart within a dove .
To do you rest a thousand deaths would die .
More than I love these eyes , more than my life ,
More by all mores than e’er I shall love wife .
If I do feign , you witnesses above ,
Punish my life for tainting of my love .
[171]ACT 5. SC. 1
Call forth the holy father .
That makes thee strangle thy propriety .
Fear not , Cesario . Take thy fortunes up .
Be that thou know’st thou art , and then thou art
As great as that thou fear’st .
O , welcome , father .
Father , I charge thee by thy reverence
Here to unfold ( though lately we intended
To keep in darkness what occasion now
Reveals before ’tis ripe ) what thou dost know
Hath newly passed between this youth and me .
Confirmed by mutual joinder of your hands ,
Attested by the holy close of lips ,
Strengthened by interchangement of your rings ,
And all the ceremony of this compact
[173] ACT 5. SC. 1 Sealed in my function , by my testimony ;
Since when , my watch hath told me , toward my
grave
I have traveled but two hours .
When time hath sowed a grizzle on thy case ?
Or will not else thy craft so quickly grow
That thine own trip shall be thine overthrow ?
Farewell , and take her , but direct thy feet
Where thou and I henceforth may never meet .
Hold little faith , though thou hast too much fear .
presently to Sir Toby .
Toby a bloody coxcomb too . For the love of God ,
your help ! I had rather than forty pound I were at
home .
him for a coward , but he’s the very devil
incardinate .
head for nothing , and that that I did , I was set on to
do ’t by Sir Toby .
You drew your sword upon me without cause ,
But I bespake you fair and hurt you not .
[175]ACT 5. SC. 1
me . I think you set nothing by a bloody coxcomb .
Here comes Sir Toby halting . You shall hear
more . But if he had not been in drink , he would
have tickled you othergates than he did .
on ’t .
were set at eight i’ th’ morning .
hate a drunken rogue .
with them ?
dressed together .
and a knave , a thin-faced knave , a gull ?
But , had it been the brother of my blood ,
I must have done no less with wit and safety .
You throw a strange regard upon me , and by that
I do perceive it hath offended you .
Pardon me , sweet one , even for the vows
We made each other but so late ago .
A natural perspective , that is and is not !
[177]ACT 5. SC. 1
How have the hours racked and tortured me
Since I have lost thee !
An apple cleft in two is not more twin
Than these two creatures . Which is Sebastian ?
Nor can there be that deity in my nature
Of here and everywhere . I had a sister
Whom the blind waves and surges have devoured .
Of charity , what kin are you to me ?
What countryman ? What name ? What parentage ?
Such a Sebastian was my brother too .
So went he suited to his watery tomb .
If spirits can assume both form and suit ,
You come to fright us .
But am in that dimension grossly clad
Which from the womb I did participate .
Were you a woman , as the rest goes even ,
I should my tears let fall upon your cheek
And say ‘Thrice welcome , drownèd Viola .’
Had numbered thirteen years .
[179]ACT 5. SC. 1
He finishèd indeed his mortal act
That day that made my sister thirteen years .
But this my masculine usurped attire ,
Do not embrace me till each circumstance
Of place , time , fortune , do cohere and jump
That I am Viola ; which to confirm ,
I’ll bring you to a captain in this town ,
Where lie my maiden weeds ; by whose gentle help
I was preserved to serve this noble count .
All the occurrence of my fortune since
Hath been between this lady and this lord .
But nature to her bias drew in that .
You would have been contracted to a maid .
Nor are you therein , by my life , deceived :
You are betrothed both to a maid and man .
If this be so , as yet the glass seems true ,
I shall have share in this most happy wrack . —
Boy , thou hast said to me a thousand times
Thou never shouldst love woman like to me .
And all those swearings keep as true in soul
As doth that orbèd continent the fire
That severs day from night .
And let me see thee in thy woman’s weeds .
[181] ACT 5. SC. 1 Hath my maid’s garments . He , upon some action ,
Is now in durance at Malvolio’s suit ,
A gentleman and follower of my lady’s .
Fetch Malvolio hither .
And yet , alas , now I remember me ,
They say , poor gentleman , he’s much distract .
A most extracting frenzy of mine own
From my remembrance clearly banished his .
end as well as a man in his case may do . Has here
writ a letter to you . I should have given ’t you today
morning . But as a madman’s epistles are no gospels ,
so it skills not much when they are delivered .
delivers the madman .
madam —
Ladyship will have it as it ought to be , you must
allow vox .
read thus . Therefore , perpend , my princess , and
give ear .
the world shall know it . Though you have put me into
darkness and given your drunken cousin rule over
me , yet have I the benefit of my senses as well as your
Ladyship . I have your own letter that induced me to
[183] ACT 5. SC. 1 the semblance I put on , with the which I doubt not but
to do myself much right or you much shame . Think of
me as you please . I leave my duty a little unthought of
and speak out of my injury .
The madly used Malvolio .
further thought on ,
To think me as well a sister as a wife ,
One day shall crown th’ alliance on ’t , so please
you ,
Here at my house , and at my proper cost .
service done him ,
So much against the mettle of your sex ,
So far beneath your soft and tender breeding ,
And since you called me ‘master’ for so long ,
Here is my hand . You shall from this time be
Your master’s mistress .
How now , Malvolio ?
wrong ,
Notorious wrong .
[185]ACT 5. SC. 1
You must not now deny it is your hand .
Write from it if you can , in hand or phrase ,
Or say ’tis not your seal , not your invention .
You can say none of this . Well , grant it then ,
And tell me , in the modesty of honor ,
Why you have given me such clear lights of favor ?
Bade me come smiling and cross-gartered to you ,
To put on yellow stockings , and to frown
Upon Sir Toby and the lighter people ?
And , acting this in an obedient hope ,
Why have you suffered me to be imprisoned ,
Kept in a dark house , visited by the priest ,
And made the most notorious geck and gull
That e’er invention played on ? Tell me why .
Though I confess much like the character .
But out of question , ’tis Maria’s hand .
And now I do bethink me , it was she
First told me thou wast mad ; then cam’st in smiling ,
And in such forms which here were presupposed
Upon thee in the letter . Prithee , be content .
This practice hath most shrewdly passed upon thee .
But when we know the grounds and authors of it ,
Thou shalt be both the plaintiff and the judge
Of thine own cause .
And let no quarrel nor no brawl to come
Taint the condition of this present hour ,
Which I have wondered at . In hope it shall not ,
Most freely I confess , myself and Toby
Set this device against Malvolio here ,
Upon some stubborn and uncourteous parts
We had conceived against him . Maria writ
[187] ACT 5. SC. 1 The letter at Sir Toby’s great importance ,
In recompense whereof he hath married her .
How with a sportful malice it was followed
May rather pluck on laughter than revenge ,
If that the injuries be justly weighed
That have on both sides passed .
and some have greatness thrown upon them .’
I was one , sir , in this interlude , one Sir Topas , sir ,
but that’s all one . ‘By the Lord , Fool , I am not
mad’ — but , do you remember ‘Madam , why laugh
you at such a barren rascal ; an you smile not , he’s
gagged’ ? And thus the whirligig of time brings in
his revenges .
He hath not told us of the Captain yet .
When that is known , and golden time convents ,
A solemn combination shall be made
Of our dear souls . — Meantime , sweet sister ,
We will not part from hence . — Cesario , come ,
For so you shall be while you are a man .
But when in other habits you are seen ,
Orsino’s mistress , and his fancy’s queen .
With hey , ho , the wind and the rain ,
A foolish thing was but a toy ,
For the rain it raineth every day .
[189] ACT 5. SC. 1
But when I came to man’s estate ,
With hey , ho , the wind and the rain ,
’Gainst knaves and thieves men shut their gate ,
For the rain it raineth every day .
But when I came , alas , to wive ,
With hey , ho , the wind and the rain ,
By swaggering could I never thrive ,
For the rain it raineth every day .
But when I came unto my beds ,
With hey , ho , the wind and the rain ,
With tosspots still had drunken heads ,
For the rain it raineth every day .
A great while ago the world begun ,
With hey , ho , the wind and the rain ,
But that’s all one , our play is done ,
And we’ll strive to please you every day .
Appendix A
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- Citation Suggestion for this Edition
- TextGrid Repository (2025). Shakespeare, William. Twelfth Night. The Folger Digital Texts in TextGrid. https://hdl.handle.net/21.11113/0000-0016-8447-3